“Relax babe, McConaughey’s old man drove the Winnebago coast to coast like this.”
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed which is almost entirely comprised of Comic-Con T&A and/or anyone who showed up in Captain Douche cosplay. Fortunately there was enough room to squeeze in Shauna Sand‘s nipple saying it all with its extremely uncalled for close proximity to her child’s face, Biz Markie, who’s apparently got what your kids need too, and sure, it seems like Mickey Rourke has some good friends, but will they be around to mold his face into a human expression when the cameras aren’t around? Only time will tell.
See if you can pin the tail on the theme of today’s Final Five,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Dreaming of weights gone by.
Lovely Arse
He’s on Clooney’s lake, but he ain’t no Clooney.
You mean he isnt gay
MOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
30 year old dressing like a 12 year old
with the face of a 40 year old.
River Phoenix was the lucky brother, if you ask me.
Derp face on the right
*gasp of horror*
We need an emergency application of boardwalk fries, and a smoothie…RIGHT NOW.
I’ll ship a large poutine down from Canada.
It’s the return of Grizzly Adams! About F’in time too!
This is Milla Jovovich, reporting live from Comic-Con–where I’m dressed in mom jeans and standing next to a whore.
Where’s Lamont?
I don’t get the whole Channing Tatum thing…
He’s got a big flat face with two little beady eyes set too close together, a stupid name, and he’s a so-so actor with no real emotional depth.
BUT, he obviously goes to the gym a lot, and doesn’t mind taking his clothes off onscreen, so I guess some 50+ year old gay producer in Hollywood saw him and thought: “SEX SYMBOL!!!”
I totally agree, I don’t get it.
He just seems like kind of a dork.
But then again, I’m a heterosexual male.
I suspect it’s a kind of male “big dumb sexy” version of a female “skinny dumb and sexy” thing.
He doesn’t do it for me…mostly because he’s a dude. Trying to find deeper explanation for his attraction to others just seems a little gay.
The 2 words that immediately come to my mind when I see his photos are “doofus” and “lunkhead”.
It IS the big dumb sexy doofus thing. Like, I’d probably bang this type of dude, but I’d never talk to him again. I wouldn’t let him spend the night. And I’d wouldn’t admit it to anybody either. This guy is only good for one thing – or two things: sex and helping you move.
Wait…that would be awesome!
Scream his name in a Cold Water Creek on sales day and watch the hot flashes fly.
i’m a heterosexual female and even i don’t understand the appeal.
It’s all about who works cheap in Hollywood these days. The bean counters have the final say over producers, directors, etc…
I don’t thing Jay Chandrasekhar appreciated just HOW sour that particular sweet-and-sour cocktail sauce would be.
Glad to see someone else recognized J. C.
Jenna: Doctor Tatum, when I do this, my arms hurt.
Tatum: Don’t do that then! Thank you, thank you, we’ll be here all week ladies and gentlemen!
Guy from behind: “Eeeeww, she’s oozing out compressed shrimps!”
They get to go on a holiday every time they threaten to look her up on Google
“What? Me worry?”
“Honey, don’t worry. I saw Tommy Lee do this in that sex tape…”
“So you bedazzled that yourself? Well I guess when your not making movies you have time for stuff like that.”
I’d rather walk around barefoot (and do) even in the city than wear those fucking retarded ‘toe shoes’.
Ahhh, yes. The perfect shade of Douchebaggery Lilac.
“Honey, can you carry the football? Your auntie’s arms can’t handle the weight.”
From nerd to douche in 3.5 seconds
he just ruined my opinion of leonard.
Yes! God, stop with that awful hair! I recoiled so hard I got tangled in my rolly chair.
There you go – I’d forgotten all about the Banana Splits
Did he injure his knee or is he starting a new trend? Also, can someone wipe off that perma-crooked smirk off of his face? It’s NOT attractive.
He’s lost a lot of weight.
Guess the KKK (Kardshian Kunt Klan) claim the lion’s share of the food on the table…
Cocaine.
I guess if my dad was Lorenzo Lamas and my mom was one of his ditzy Playboy trophy wives, I’d be pretty depressed too.
“I’ve had it with these motha fuckin’ gloves on my motha fuckin’ feet.”
“And this is how she taught me to pee standing up…”
she cleans up nicely
She really has made the most of that timer function on her camera.
Is it sad that the Jared Leto look makes him look *less* feminine?
I thought those love dolls sure have come a long way. nice investment!
She does look very mannikin-like.
He makes my fucking blood boil.
Dude, I would LITERALLY give my left foot to be able to punch this guy in the face.
“…and Michelle was queefing quite profusely just backstage. Show us how you did that, Michelle….”
I love that it doesn’t even mention Jay Chandrasekhar.
Why would they?
Oh jesusssss! When you thought this mess could not possibly get any worse, IT IS AGING!!!
They look like a suburban couple of lower-middle income shopping at Wal-Mart.
Apparently having a baby has that effect on you.
I’ve always heard that fame will really swell your head.
That, and the 99 cent burritos at AM-PM.
That and everyone having access to viewing your daughter’s vagina.
Trying too hard.
He is juggling. You can’t see the ball bearings?
Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Oh, the world-weary ennui of having to wait a few more years until you’re of legal age to become a stripper or a porn actress.
It must be crushing to those girls…
“ennui”… nice.
And they’re all wearing 7 inch clear Lucite heels.
The next Iron Jackson?
Somewhere in San Diego there is a blind woman holding an empty leash and wandering into traffic.
No big deal about her being braless. Shauna’s nipples have been publicly exposed thousands of times in those children’s lifetimes.
I’m not sure if mummified leathery discs consisting of 90% dehidrated scar tissue and 10% assorted silicates even qualify as “nipples” anymore.
Only a Nexus-6 can get away with those socks.
First it was attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion, now he’s wearing his belt.
Did he just go to the stylist and ask for the Kenny Rogers?
You don’t ask for the Kenny Rogers…
you EARN it.
Makes you sorry for every one who won an Iron Cross