The Crap We Missed – Monday 7.15.13

July 15th, 2013 // 357 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, our daily feature of celebrity schadenfreude where I also sometimes clumsily take a stab a relevant cultural events. This weekend saw the end of a high-profile murder trial that’s resulted in a new discussion about race relations in Ameri- OW! *grabs shock collar* Okay, alright, here’s Jay-Z‘s custom made fart-scented mic, the Hugh Jackman photoshop fantasy photo, and you know what? I don’t care, this needs to be said. It’s now become crystal clear to anyone with a brain that black people are still forced to follow a completely different set of social cues than white peo- AHH! OW, FUCK!! *opens Internet Constitution, flips to Article Four: Section Two – Bloggers shall not transpose the discussion of politics, race, or religion with the images of lesbians making blowjob faces or Gwen Stefani‘s hot ass in hotass leather hot pants*

Fine, point taken, you guys wi–WHY DID HE GET OUT OF THE CAR? YOU CAN’T SILENCE ME! (I look forward to your unbridled hate in the comments below),

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Jane Lynch Blowjob Face Annie Broadway Final Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    Well this explains her recent divorce filing.

  2. Jose Canseco Girlfriend Leila Knight Bikini Alex Thomas Celebrity Golf Tournament Pool Party
    Weeblo
    Commented on this photo:

    He into trannys?

  3. Hugh Jackman The Wolverine Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    Up to here I guess?

  4. Kelly Monaco Cheryl Burke Grabbing Shanna Moakler Breasts Bikini Nipple Slip
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    So was the brunette going for the front-boob grab, or was she really trying to get the armpit-boob?

  5. Justin Bieber Shirtless Playing With Old Guys Hair Instagram
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Which member of the Penn State coaching staff is that?

  6. William Fichtner Capri Pants Pissed Off Look On Face
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    Super weird body. Does he have a club foot or something? Why are his legs so skinny?

  7. Prince William Charity Polo Match
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m so sorry, Your Highness, but you are not allowed to use an imaginary horse for this event.”

  8. Snoop Lion High As Shit
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d make a comment about how he’s looking at the previous picture, but he’s so fucking high that his eyes are constantly leering.

  9. Kelly Monaco Cheryl Burke Grabbing Shanna Moakler Breasts Bikini Nipple Slip
    broduhjenner
    Commented on this photo:

    who? what? and WHY?

  10. Mariah Carey Cleavage Bruised Shoulder Glittery Sling
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know Obamacare covered bedazzled arm slings.

  11. Pamela Anderson Haggard Face Obliphica Booth Cosmoprof Convention
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    She must the the “before” example, right?

  12. Anthony Weiner Laughing Hysterically
    richie
    Commented on this photo:

    seen here laughing at the stupidity of people electing him to any office

  13. Constance Marie Legs Butt Short Shorts Crouching Down With Child Mickey Through The Years Collection Launch
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    Mother, want another?

  14. Serena Williams Butt Leg Stretch Yoga Pants WTA Tournament
    broduhjenner
    Commented on this photo:

    is that her leg or is she happy to see me?

  15. Nikolaj Coster Waldau Neckbrace The Other Woman Set
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    See what happens when you try to motor-boat Kate Upton without the proper neck support? You’re lucky to be alive.

  16. William Fichtner Capri Pants Pissed Off Look On Face
    broduhjenner
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s like they glued his head on to chaz bono’s body.

  17. Mario Lopez North America Hairstyling Award
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he at Farrah Abraham’s birthday party?

  18. Gwen Stefani Butt Leather Pants
    MeanMrsMustard
    Commented on this photo:

    How’d she get Moby to be her purse holder?

  19. Prince William Charity Polo Match
    MeanMrsMustard
    Commented on this photo:

    SPIDER!!

  20. Pamela Anderson Haggard Face Obliphica Booth Cosmoprof Convention
    broduhjenner
    Commented on this photo:

    sometimes the clothes make the woman, sometimes the woman makes the clothes look tacky esp with a barbed wire tat-coco chanel

  21. Mario Lopez North America Hairstyling Award
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    Woah, how did award season sneak up on me so quick? It’s a well known fact that the North American Hairstyling Award is an early baromete for the Academy Awards. With this win, he has to be considered an early frontrunner for the Oscar too, right?

  22. Jane Lynch Blowjob Face Annie Broadway Final Performance
    Ammortal
    Commented on this photo:

    Something she’s never done.

  23. Mariah Carey Cleavage Bruised Shoulder Glittery Sling
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish she’d gotten those things out before… well, before.

  24. Jay-Z Yahoo Wireless Festival
    broduhjenner
    Commented on this photo:

    as i lay me down to sleep, i pray the lord my soul to keep, and if i die before i wake, i pray kanye’s soul you do so take.

  25. Selma Blair Nipples No Bra Son Arthur
    broduhjenner
    Commented on this photo:

    uttoh! someone let Alicia Silverstone feed their baby!

  26. Selma Blair Nipples No Bra Son Arthur
    ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like a young Riff Raff.

  27. Daniel Radcliffe Dark Circles Under Eyes Pale Skin
    Odbarc
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s no magic spell for Harry to unyellow his teeth?

  28. Jose Canseco Girlfriend Leila Knight Bikini Alex Thomas Celebrity Golf Tournament Pool Party
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    The Hoff is doing roids these days?

  29. Jose Canseco Girlfriend Leila Knight Bikini Alex Thomas Celebrity Golf Tournament Pool Party
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought this was the couple from Jersey Shore… you know, the muscle bound Roid head and his vapid girlfriend. How could I have made that mistake?

  30. John Cusack Scooter Headband All Black Outfit
    Jon Pork
    Commented on this photo:

    Lloyd Dobler takes out a ninja..

  31. Hugh Jackman The Wolverine Press Conference
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    See! I’m not gay. I have a wedding ring.

  32. Daniel Radcliffe Dark Circles Under Eyes Pale Skin
    ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    HEY!! YOU WANNA BUY SOME MAGIC??

  33. Kelly Monaco Cheryl Burke Grabbing Shanna Moakler Breasts Bikini Nipple Slip
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s all thank women’s myopia in thinking their hands can contain large boobs…

  34. Justin Bieber Shirtless Playing With Old Guys Hair Instagram
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Just another of his gay romps in a men’s room.

  35. Kelly Monaco Cheryl Burke Grabbing Shanna Moakler Breasts Bikini Nipple Slip
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a great big ole mom-titty

  36. Serena Williams Butt Leg Stretch Yoga Pants WTA Tournament
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    She just drove that pole into the ground herself.

  37. Jose Canseco Girlfriend Leila Knight Bikini Alex Thomas Celebrity Golf Tournament Pool Party
    Commented on this photo:

    I think my favorite steroids are boob steroids

  38. Justin Bieber Shirtless Playing With Old Guys Hair Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Coming to the Hallmark channel: Billy Bob Thornton in…. “Sandusky’s kids..”

  39. Pamela Anderson Haggard Face Obliphica Booth Cosmoprof Convention
    Jon Pork
    Commented on this photo:

    If you look at the dress just right, you can see those shapes morph into Biohazard symbol.

  40. William Fichtner Capri Pants Pissed Off Look On Face
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    I always get him mixed up with Greg Germann.

  41. William Fichtner Capri Pants Pissed Off Look On Face
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess anybody will let Beiber fix their hair

  42. Nick Cannon Me Sexy Shirt Universal CityWalk Outdoor Concert Series
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    “Nick Cannon performs…”. What exactly is his talent again?

  43. Jay-Z Yahoo Wireless Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    “If you convict George Zimmerman, I promise to stop being friends with Gwyneth Paltrow…”

  44. Hugh Jackman The Wolverine Press Conference
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “So you just keep tugging on it and then BOOM! You’ve got your very own, home made, protein shake. That’s how I bulk up for my ‘X-Men’ roles. Next question, please.”

  45. Samuel L Jackson Wife LaTanya Richardson
    Commented on this photo:

    LaTanya

  46. Mariah Carey Cleavage Bruised Shoulder Glittery Sling
    Commented on this photo:

    That cast > my last year’s income

  47. Prince William Charity Polo Match
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he is going to see if his cup works.

  48. Kelly Monaco Cheryl Burke Grabbing Shanna Moakler Breasts Bikini Nipple Slip
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Kelly Monaco will always be one of the great faps, er, loves of my life. Just check out her Maxim shoot

  49. Gwen Stefani Butt Leather Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Andy Warhol is back?

  50. Justin Bieber Shirtless Playing With Old Guys Hair Instagram
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    The next day, that man claimed to have been impregnated by him.

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