The Crap We Missed – Monday 3.5.12

March 5th, 2012 // 697 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, a not-so-random smattering of tits and anything we find worthy of your snarky fodder. But mostly tits. Starting off, Channing Tatum eye-bangs the shit out of the front row while Jonah Hill pretends people want to hear whatever the hell he’s talking about. The Hoff‘s loyal German following is going to shit when they find out he performed like this for the Brits, and Nicole Kidman lactates through multiple layers of clothing which can only mean Zac Efron is making it rain rubbers somewhere nearby.

Also, Reese Witherspoon is PREGNANT! (Fish made me do that.),

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Chris Klein Nipples See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey someone realized I was famous!”

    • dontkillthemessenger

      I was going to say Australia makes 3 countries in which no one knows who he is anymore.

  2. Tulisa Contostavlos Bra Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    “Alright. 40 for head but we have to do it behind this comical stack of luggage.”

  3. Kim Kardashian Butt Tight Pants
    Hugh Jass
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate her so much that I’d have ‘hate sex’ with her. I know that wouldn’t happen though because I’m poor…. nor am I black. Half black doesn’t even cut it for her.

  4. Gary Shirley Leah Car Seat
    Commented on this photo:

    How this thing impregnated anything outside the order Cetacea is beyond me.

  5. Melanie Griffith Daughter Dakota Johnson
    Commented on this photo:

    At least you’ll never have to say “watch the teeth, baby.”

  6. Gary Shirley Leah Car Seat
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing makes Gary happier than having someone around to blame farty smells on, so its more re-fried beans for baby Leah!

  7. Sean Penn Moustache Tired
    Garrett
    Commented on this photo:

    What do you mean it looks like I Haiti my life?

  8. Phoebe Price Cleavage Storage Wars
    Commented on this photo:

    So this is what one of them found in the storage unit? I’m guessing they lost.

  9. Phoebe Price Cleavage Storage Wars
    Hugh Jass
    Commented on this photo:

    You wear clothes like that when you want people to appreciate your personality. Oh wait no that isn’t it is it?

  10. Joel Madden
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh shit…I was wearing this exact same outfit 5 years ago?”

  11. Kelly Osbourne Miniskirt Saddle Shoes
    Commented on this photo:

    Miss Piggy joined cheerleading? Hope she made varsity considering how old she is.

  12. Jeremy Piven Drumming
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sir, please come from behind there. That is not the toilet.”

  13. Amy Childs Cleavage Leather Unitard
    Motorboat Captain
    Commented on this photo:

    All green of skin. 800 centuries ago, their bodily fluids include the birth of half-breeds. For the fundamental truth self-determination of the cosmos, for dark is the suede that mows like a harvest.

  14. Channing Tatum Jonah Hill
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah, five of the Kardashians hit on me when I carried this microphone around!”

  15. Nicole Kidman Nipples Sweaty
    Commented on this photo:

    Schweddy Boobs. Coming soon on SNL. (Or Ben & Jerry’s.)

  16. Amy Childs Cleavage Leather Unitard
    Hugh Jass
    Commented on this photo:

    Bride of Frankenstein porno?

  17. Lil Wayne Bored Laker Game Magazine Headphones
    Garrett
    Commented on this photo:

    All that’s missing is a propellor on top of his hat

  18. Amy Childs Cleavage Leather Unitard
    Mr. Poop
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck is that?

  19. Sean Penn Moustache Tired
    Commented on this photo:

    Bacon, wrapped in cotton, wrapped in leather.

  20. Melanie Griffith Daughter Dakota Johnson
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I rather do the… damn, is anyone sitting in the back seat?

  21. Shyne Diddy
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know Shyne was Jewish. Wait…who’s Shyne, exactly?

  22. Amy Childs Cleavage Leather Unitard
    Hugh Jass
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes that’s it, people are noticing your eyelashes.

  23. Brittney Palmer Cleavage Tight Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Too bad about the Selena Gomez tatoo.

  24. Brittney Palmer Cleavage Tight Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t that one of those Poppin’ Fresh dresses?

  25. Sean Penn Moustache Tired
    Commented on this photo:

    brb, sudden urge for beef jerky.

  26. Willem Dafoe
    Commented on this photo:

    “This just in, I’ll accept any role.”

  27. Melanie Griffith Daughter Dakota Johnson
    PtC
    Commented on this photo:

    Derpanie Griffith.

  28. Joel Madden
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    The Backroom… The Backyard… The Back Alley behind the club only the relevant people get into.

  29. Nicole Kidman Nipples Sweaty
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    With roles drying up, Nicole now makes end meet by competing in wet sweatsuit top contests. As Zac Efron would say, “That’s condom-dropping cougar goodness!”

  30. Willem Dafoe
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Much better when washed, fluffed and tidied.

  31. David Hasselhoff Hitler Costume
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I’d be a drunk too if I had……ah fuck it, I am a drunk

  32. Dita Von Teese Nipples See Through Dress
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s just throw Holy Water on her already and call it a night.

  33. Dita Von Teese Nipples See Through Dress
    SFfan
    Commented on this photo:

    Her right arm looks like moldy fruit.

  34. Lil Wayne Bored Laker Game Magazine Headphones
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy crap, they’re just missing a tent.

  35. Kelly Osbourne Miniskirt Saddle Shoes
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The more hair that covers her face the more attractive to appears to me.

  36. Rachel Hunter Bikini Top Paddleboard
    Commented on this photo:

    Rachel, hunter in Malibu.

    –Fixed.

  37. Channing Tatum Jonah Hill
    dooood
    Commented on this photo:

    “when the world gives you a jeffrey, stroke the furry walls”

  38. Amy Childs Cleavage Leather Unitard
    PtC
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, will ducklips ever die?

  39. Shyne Diddy
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this in response to Hoff’s earlier Hitler photo?

  40. Jessica Alba Miniskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Jesus, this old couple has been making out next to me all night. Old people and E just don’t mix.”

  41. Willem Dafoe
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I would suggest not re-enacting scenes from Platoon with Charlie Sheen.

  42. Gary Shirley Leah Car Seat
    bonerspunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Its the neck strap beard that brings in the hoes, yo!

  43. Melanie Griffith Daughter Dakota Johnson
    Commented on this photo:

    “A-ha-ha-ha, yeah, a lot of people ask if we’re sisters.”

  44. Melanie Griffith Daughter Dakota Johnson
    okiedokie
    Commented on this photo:

    that cant be her daughter? I think It must be a mistake. They look the same age, I really don’t think that’s her daughter.

    I thought this was Courtney Love from the thumbnails

  45. David Hasselhoff Hitler Costume
    dooood
    Commented on this photo:

    oh cmon, he looks nothing like der fuehrer!

  46. Kim Kardashian Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Poopy pants

  47. Kelly Osbourne Miniskirt Saddle Shoes
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah… this is someone who makes money on a show criticizing what actual celebrities are wearing.

    Bowling shoes and Catholic school unis for everyone!

  48. vandinz

    Look at her leaning away. Classic body language that she don’t want to be there. So she’s not a lez after all.

  49. Gary Shirley Leah Car Seat
    MarkM
    Commented on this photo:

    So wait…Chaz got her fake weiner and already made a gay baby with it?

  50. Reese Witherspoon
    Commented on this photo:

    “I call this ‘Chin Descending a Staircase’.”

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