The Crap We Missed – Monday 3.25.13

March 25th, 2013 // 534 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed which I hope you still have some gas in the tank for after justifiably going nuts over this Kim Kardashian post. I mean I don’t want this site to just turn into undignified shots of motherhood. That would be completely despicable. Instead let’s turn our attention to worthy targets like Criss Angel, who apparently has the magical ability to travel back in time to be my hair dresser in the 7th grade who made us pick styles out of an ‘Impressions’ catalog. Then there’s 50 Cent being shown a picture of what Chelsea Handler looks like if you have absolutely no drugs in your system, Patrick Schwarzenegger letting the grope flow through him, and finally, as if Hell wasn’t awful enough, now everyone there is going to have itchy junk.

Jackson Galaxy, today you are my Prince Charles,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. June Shannon Eating Subway Drinking Mountain Dew
    JennywithaY
    Commented on this photo:

    This gives me a great idea for a Redneck Feeder. Like a hummingbird feeder – only grotesque.

  2. Nicole Kidman Omega Ladymatic Watches Gala
    JennywithaY
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re not with Tom anymore, Nicole. You’re allowed to stand up straight now.

  3. Ben Affleck Jennifer Garner Bending Over
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Jennifer, whatever you do, DO NOT get in that rusty old van with that man!

  4. Mickey Rourke Red Hair Bicep Bandage
    JennywithaY
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like a junkie leaving the plasma bank.

  5. Jackson Galaxy The Humane Societys 2013 Genesis Awards Benefit Gala
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s all the bits John Travolta didn’t draw on with the sharpie

  6. Nicole Kidman Omega Ladymatic Watches Gala
    Meg's Attitude
    Commented on this photo:

    I think you messed up when you re-attached the head Igor

  7. Hayden Panettiere Wladimir Klitschko Miami Heat Game
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    - It’s about this long.
    - I can take it to about this high.

  8. Verne Troyer Tuxedo Muhammad Ali Celebrity Fight Night XIX
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Very well dressed even for a penguin

  9. Valerie Perrine Cleavage Yellow Teeth Genesis Awards Benefit Gala
    JennywithaY
    Commented on this photo:

    I swear my kids saw this in their closet just last night.

  10. Frank Burns

    I’m getting too old for this site. I don’t recognize two-thirds of the celebrities listed.

  11. Kevin Federline Fat High Tops Son Sean Preston Soccer Game
    Commented on this photo:

    holy crap.

  12. June Shannon Eating Subway Drinking Mountain Dew
    Commented on this photo:

    The only surprising thing about this photo is that there’s still some left of whatever that is in her hand.

  13. Andy Dick DWTS Practice
    Meg's Attitude
    Commented on this photo:

    Never before has an Andy been so fittingly named…

  14. Ben Affleck Jennifer Garner Bending Over
    Commented on this photo:

    “Can I give you and your baby a ride in my rape van…uh, my van?”

  15. June Shannon Eating Subway Drinking Mountain Dew
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Good news Amanda Bynes… we’ve finally found someone who we’d choose you over.

  16. Adrian Grenier Headphones
    blahblah
    Commented on this photo:

    Adrian, I’ve got your career, on line one…oh shoot, lost it again!

  17. Nicole Kidman Omega Ladymatic Watches Gala
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    She belongs in a glass cabinet in someone’s front room

  18. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Instagram
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    After he got rid of Barbie Benton, Hef’s taste in women went decidedly down hill until he finally hit bottom.

  19. Criss Angel Little Boy Haircut One Night For One Drop Charity Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “You have no idea how many cumshots to my head it took to match my hair with this awesome fucking jacket. No idea.

  20. Nicole Kidman Omega Ladymatic Watches Gala
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    After careful consideration, I vote “WAX”. Definitely. Maybe.

  21. Daniel Radcliffe Empire Film Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    WOW!

    Just WOW!

    I cant believe she wore that necklace with that headband!

  22. Verne Troyer Tuxedo Muhammad Ali Celebrity Fight Night XIX
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Celebrity Fight Night? Tell me he’s fighting Justin Bieber Mini-Me style.

  23. Pamela Anderson Devil Guy Cirque Performer One Night For One Drop Charity Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Next day Hell’s demon free clinic:

    “Abaddon, you have hepatitis…”

  24. Kevin Federline Fat High Tops Son Sean Preston Soccer Game
    Henny
    Commented on this photo:

    the ONLY time where Britney can actually be the one to say, “dodged a bullet with that one.”

  25. Hayden Panettiere Wladimir Klitschko Miami Heat Game
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mom, guess what? I’m back with Wlad the Impaler.”

  26. Criss Angel Little Boy Haircut One Night For One Drop Charity Event
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Frank, we lost the A-Feed.” It’s a tribute to the halftime blackout at the superbowl.

  27. Nicole Kidman Omega Ladymatic Watches Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa…and to think I thought Verne Troyer was an oddly assembled human.

  28. Andy Dick DWTS Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope he cant take the pressure and gets hammered when he dances.

  29. Verne Troyer Tuxedo Muhammad Ali Celebrity Fight Night XIX
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Stop it!” – Peter Dinklage

  30. Nicole Kidman Omega Ladymatic Watches Gala
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Not nice of her to make fun of Verne Troyer that way.

  31. Jackson Galaxy The Humane Societys 2013 Genesis Awards Benefit Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, it’s Sloth’s twin brother.

  32. Mark-Paul Gosselaar Shirtless Franklin & Bash Set
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s like me when I take my shirt off. Real sweaty.

  33. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Ear muffs to drown out the wheezing? Check. Body suit to prevent skin-to-skin contact? Check. Yup, ready for hubby!

  34. Patrick Schwarzenegger Groping Woman
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yup.It’s just like dad’s.”

  35. Adrian Grenier Headphones
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Who knew there was no money or fame in being a John Stamos body double?

  36. Pamela Anderson Devil Guy Cirque Performer One Night For One Drop Charity Event
    Jentilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Yikes that devil is about to bite that drag queen!

  37. Patrick Schwarzenegger Groping Woman
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, what do you know. You’re not a maid and I still got a boner.

  38. Ashley Sky Underwear Terry Richardson
    Commented on this photo:

    Ill take 3.

    These aren’t recyclable are they?

  39. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere right now Khloe is basking in not being “the big one”.

  40. Mickey Rourke Red Hair Bicep Bandage
    Commented on this photo:

    right about now a paparazzi is really regretting saying “chapstick my ass!”

  41. Julie Bowen Swinging Kid Around
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Keep looking! My ass has to be around there somewhere.

  42. Valerie Perrine Cleavage Yellow Teeth Genesis Awards Benefit Gala
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like Darkman when his skin would start to melt.

  43. Mark-Paul Gosselaar Shirtless Franklin & Bash Set
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Making that face while staring at some guy’s ass is not gay at all.

  44. Criss Angel Little Boy Haircut One Night For One Drop Charity Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Shouldn’t he be back in the other picture standing on the other side of Pamela Anderson?

  45. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Pregnant Belly
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Do cattle get motherly glow?

  46. Paula Deen Excited LAX
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this fat Roseanne or skinny Roseanne?

  47. Naike Rivelli Nipples American Flag Outfit Brunswick Bowling 50th Anniversary Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Bowling suddenly looks interesting.

  48. Ben Affleck Jennifer Garner Bending Over
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    “You know, if you did this at home once in awhile you wouldn’t be pregnant all the damn time.”

  49. Ben Affleck Jennifer Garner Bending Over
    Commented on this photo:

    “Trust me honey. I’m an Award Winning Director. You need to lift with your legs. I’d help, but…I’m an Award Winning Director.”

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