“That’s definitely not enough sunscreen, girl. In fact, I’d say you need – *puts on sunglasses* – a little Moore.”
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed coming to you on the heels of my return from the land of fat white excess known as a Carnival cruise. I haven’t seen anyone so excited to constantly cram their mouth full since that time Fish made me print off Jon Hamm glossies. Anyway, the good news is I didn’t have to involuntarily shat into any bags, so for that I’m grateful, as well as for being back in time to bring you some rife-for-the-captioning goodness. We’ve got Kim Kardashian‘s bloody face from her upcoming “Oh, No, I Totally Thought I Had A Miscarriage, You Guys” Special, David Beckham making a diamond, Jim Toth narrowly avoiding getting his penis chinned off, and finally David Copperfield‘s face which in no way silently conveys the extreme pleasure owning a magical rape island will buy you.
Wait, why didn’t anyone tell me they picked a new pope while I was gone?
- Photo Boy