The Crap We Missed – Monday 2.23.15

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you after the final awards show weekend, when every conceivable red carpet event gets shoved into two days. After that, Hollywood’s biggest stars retreat into caves, so that they may molt their skins and donate the sheddings to this year’s layer of Lil Kim. I have no other explanation for how she could possibly look like that. There’s also Carrie Fisher lactating, which wouldn’t have been hot 35 years ago either, and Stephen Colbert with a full white beard that’s almost as unsettling at a moustache-less Sam Elliot. Oh God, scratch that. I just looked at that top lip again and I was wrong. *watches Amber Rose bikini twerk video embeded directly below for hundredth time* OhthankjesusI’m ok now. This is good, everything’s better now.

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Splash News