The Crap We Missed – Monday 12.17.12

December 17th, 2012 // 610 Comments

Welcome to another thick and chunky serving of The Crap We Missed, brought to you by another bountiful weekend full of celebrity droppings. To start things off, we’ve got Christina Aguilera, who cleverly avoided getting tossed into those first two links up there by wearing a tailor-made butt cover. We’ve also got Victoria Silvstedt forgetting to take the cap off to give just the smallest doubt that she’s not really trying to blow a soda bottle, Elijah Wood‘s impression of Darwin The IKEA monkey choking to death on a taco, Hannibal Lecter without the intelligence, charm, wit, class, talent and general likability, and finally, Paz de la Huerta faces her greatest fear — THE SHOWER!!

Two Dinklage days in a row. It’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Madonna Cleavage Lingerie
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    *pulls string*
    “There’s a snake in my boots!”

  2. Christina Aguilera Tight Pants Son Max Matthew Rutler
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “I wish mom would let me wear something to cover up MY misshapen ass.” – Kim Kardashian

  3. Adam Lambert VH1 Divas
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Adam, why don’t you grow some facial hair so you look less like a teenage girl?”
    “OK.”
    The next day . . .
    “Um . . . forget what I said.”

  4. Tom Cruise El Hormiguero
    Commented on this photo:

    “I don’t get it… What do you mean that’s what a vagina looks like?”

  5. Kendall Jenner Kylie Jenner Leather Pants Posing With Dolphin Seigfried And Roy Secret Garden
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m just going to bite my tongue and drive myself to the local police station.

  6. Lady Gaga Leather And Chains Mask
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    At least now she can’t sing.

  7. Madonna Cleavage Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    They just don’t make penis tuckers like they used to….

  8. Tom Cruise El Hormiguero
    Commented on this photo:

    El Homo-Guero?

  9. Adam Lambert VH1 Divas
    Rick
    Commented on this photo:

    Whenever the GLBT people want equality and same-whatever, this is the reason why you’re not getting it.

    • cc

      You know, I have to agree. I’ve worked with gay guys that looked, dressed, and sounded like ordinary, everyday guys. I know Adam Lambert is an entertainer but still…why perpetuate ‘queen’ stereotypes?

      • Alison

        The point is to be whoever you are, even if you happen to fit a stereotype. What about the straight, skinny nerds who have no interest in being macho either?

        On top of that, being a queen is awesome. Maybe you should try it some time.

      • tlmck

        There is a fine line between being a queen and being bat shit crazy.

      • catapostrophe

        Right, Alison–if one wants to put forth the effort to meticulously and blatantly style oneself after exaggerated, laughably cartoonish “queen” stereotypes, one ought to go right ahead and do that.

      • Yeah, how dare people expect equal rights when they have an appearance you dislike! Those bastards!

  10. Elijah Wood Eating Taco Rally To Save Henrys Tacos
    Commented on this photo:

    More like a rally for explosive diarrhea.

  11. Lady Gaga Leather And Chains Mask
    Rick
    Commented on this photo:

    Too bad we can’t cage the rest of her.

  12. Madonna Cleavage Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s strapping up the prolapsed uterus.

  13. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage Tight Dress Looking Rough
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Hm, let’s see. She wears green to promote Midori. She must wear white to promote . . . semen? Let’s go with semen.

  14. Kendall Jenner Kylie Jenner Leather Pants Posing With Dolphin Seigfried And Roy Secret Garden
    BWMnstrl
    Commented on this photo:

    In some ways they’re almost as smart as people

  15. Arianny Celeste Cleavage
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s cute. Too bad about the fake boobs though.

  16. Kevin Jonas Danielle Deleasa City Harvest Holiday Season Food Drive FDNY
    Commented on this photo:

    The guy in the middle was just asked to join them both in bed. Emphasis on BOTH.

  17. Peter Dinklage Knit Hat Baby Stroller Erica Schmidt
    BWMnstrl
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that his other half?

  18. Russell Brand Fuzzy Boots Trident Afghan
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is it Christmas season already? Blimey, I need a pitchfork!”

  19. Marilyn Manson Oxygen Mask On Ear
    BWMnstrl
    Commented on this photo:

    O2 kick him in the nuts

  20. Kevin Jonas Danielle Deleasa City Harvest Holiday Season Food Drive FDNY
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s cute. Did they give him one of those “Junior Firefighter” stickers?

  21. Adam Lambert VH1 Divas
    Commented on this photo:

    Pictured: a more masculine Tom Cruise.

  22. Adam Lambert VH1 Divas
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought we were an enlightened group here…
    That’s not facial hair my friends… Apparently he likes to go deep..

  23. Lady Gaga Leather And Chains Mask
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    what a dipshit.

  24. Kendall Jenner Kylie Jenner Leather Pants Posing With Dolphin Seigfried And Roy Secret Garden
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Swim away, sweet dolphin! These two might already be infected with serious diseases. Swim away for dear life! Now!

  25. Marilyn Manson Oxygen Mask On Ear
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    The Borg!

  26. Peter Dinklage Knit Hat Baby Stroller Erica Schmidt
    Commented on this photo:

    (Mumbles to himself): That was supposed to be MY chariot…

  27. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage VH1 Divas
    Commented on this photo:

    That is all kinds of awful…not even surgery could have helped this one.

  28. Donald Sutherland Miami Dolphins Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “Stir the shitstorm, Bubba!”

  29. Elijah Wood Eating Taco Rally To Save Henrys Tacos
    YAAR
    Commented on this photo:

    The only taco he’d ever be interested in…

    • Damn! I was going to write “I’ve got a taco for him” because I’ve always found him to be such a hot nerd, but I have to admit that you’re probably right about this one.

  30. Elijah Wood Eating Taco Rally To Save Henrys Tacos
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    So, tacos are the new cheeseburgers? Didn’t know he was a drunk.

  31. Russell Brand Fuzzy Boots Trident Afghan
    BWMnstrl
    Commented on this photo:

    Frosty’s wingman

  32. Lady Gaga Leather And Chains Mask
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok good, you captured and caged her face… Uhmm what about the rest of her?

  33. Kendall Jenner Kylie Jenner Leather Pants Posing With Dolphin Seigfried And Roy Secret Garden
    karlito
    Commented on this photo:

    it must be hard for Kendall to be refered to as the ugly one.

  34. Maria Shriver Face Wrinkles Leopard Print Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m waiting to see the third eyelid blink in from the sides.

  35. Paz De La Huerta Eating In The Rain
    Commented on this photo:

    When it rains ugly, it pours ugly.

  36. Paz De La Huerta Eating In The Rain
    YAAR
    Commented on this photo:

    more like la Muerta

  37. Goldie Hawn Ein Herz Fuer Kinder Charity Gala
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    You see that, Germany? Being blonde does nothing for you. Nothing!

  38. Kendall Jenner Kylie Jenner Leather Pants Posing With Dolphin Seigfried And Roy Secret Garden
    Commented on this photo:

    Might as well start getting use to handling slimy wet things.

  39. Maria Shriver Face Wrinkles Leopard Print Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s Norman Reedus when you need him…

  40. Christina Aguilera Tight Pants Son Max Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    Jessica Simpson looked at that child and saw two things: (1) her future; and (2) lunch.

  41. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage VH1 Divas
    Commented on this photo:

    Has anyone seen her and Adam Lambert in the same place?

  42. Tom Brady Knit Hat Son Benjamin Stroller Pit Bull
    YAAR
    Commented on this photo:

    The douche is strong with this one…

  43. Britney Spears Holding Puppy Sons Sean Jaden Starbucks
    Commented on this photo:

    Mom, quit it.. We’ve already been to McDonald’s three times today…

  44. Kevin Jonas Danielle Deleasa City Harvest Holiday Season Food Drive FDNY
    karlito
    Commented on this photo:

    when did he buy a horse and called it Danielle?

  45. Victoria Silvstedt Cleavage Top Model Belgium Awards
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Either that’s a very tiny Coke, or she really does have giant lizard hands.

  46. 50 Cent Drunk DSTRKT Night Club
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit, Biggie’s alive!!

  47. Christina Aguilera Tight Pants Son Max Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    Her gross legs enrage me. They wouldn’t make me feel this way if she didn’t think she was so hot.

  48. Charlize Theron Buzz Haircut
    YAAR
    Commented on this photo:

    That should take care of the problem of guys hitting on you…

  49. Lady Gaga Leather And Chains Mask
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she gonna shut up, now? PRAISE THE LORD!!!

  50. Kendall Jenner Kylie Jenner Leather Pants Posing With Dolphin Seigfried And Roy Secret Garden
    Count Chocula
    Commented on this photo:

    This is going to be an interesting video

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