The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.5.12

November 5th, 2012 // 795 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you just before Americans face the difficult decision between the Socialist Muslim gay-loving apocalypse or Gordon Gekko’s wet dream about the time he and Reagan robbed a homeless guy then used the money to tag team a prostitute on his dad’s jet. Democracy, yeah! While you ponder that important choice, enjoy Ryan Gosling‘s new look, as designed by Joe Simpson‘s swag coach, Richard Grieco blowing a kiss in front of a giant Rorschach vagina, invisible Salma Hayek stabbing Melanie Griffith with a knife, the undeniable conclusion that Kristina Shannon ate her sister, and finally, everybody shut up! Katy Perry‘s breasts are trying to tell us something.

This post sponsored by Smug™ — Now in delicious coconut flavor!

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Katy Perry Rubber Dress Obama Rally
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    They ARE awesome, but they don’t sing.

  2. Prince Charles Camilla Duchess Of Cornwall Topless Dancer
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    By joves I haven’t gotten lei’d in years! And to see a native woman’s bosom all at the same time! Brilliant!

  3. Katy Perry Rubber Dress Obama Rally
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    All those bitches with knee pads makes me think it’s a Clinton campaign rally. It takes a true master to spunk out “Forward” on a blue dress.

    • it had to be said

      She’d have to gain at least 75 pounds for Bill to be interested. Right coloring though.

  4. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Leather Dress
    Billy Barty, Jr.
    Commented on this photo:

    Need a rag on a stick to clean out that ass

  5. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Leather Dress
    Mike Hunt
    Commented on this photo:

    Two words ” Ass Smegma”

  6. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Derby Day Horse Races
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    And, for first place in the celebrity wax figure competition: Nicole Kidman by Wax Factory Krew! Congratulations!

  7. Sarah Jessica Parker Son James Razor Scooter
    Mike Hunt
    Commented on this photo:

    Just ” Horsing around”

  8. Rita Rusic Bikini
    dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Usually, this pose would totally turn me on. Usually.

  9. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Lays Bag Twitter
    Max
    Commented on this photo:

    More like a half-baked lay.

  10. Jason Schwartzman Sipping Coconut Drink
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    David Schwimmer started dyeing his hair again?

  11. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Lays Bag Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! I thought this was Sara Underwood before I looked closer. That’s a either a very good thing for her or a horrifying thing for Sara Underwood.

  12. Sarah Jessica Parker Son James Razor Scooter
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorta harsh to have her carry the rifle case on the way to the glue factory.

  13. Richard Grieco Red Sunglasses Works On Canvas Art Debut
    devilsrain
    Commented on this photo:

    Reminds me of Mickey Rourke, without the talent

  14. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Lays Bag Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Calm down everyone, she just confused the crinkly texture of a chip bag for Doug Hutchison’s face.

  15. Antonio Banderas Lakers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Acting out his dream of running Melanie Griffith over with his car.

  16. Antonio Banderas Lakers Game
    Mike Hunt
    Commented on this photo:

    prune juice kicking in

  17. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Leather Dress
    Athr
    Commented on this photo:

    Too sexy…

  18. Richard Grieco Red Sunglasses Works On Canvas Art Debut
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Rorschach, not Horshack.

  19. Antonio Banderas Lakers Game
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    He needs to eat more yogurt.

  20. Antonio Banderas Lakers Game
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    “I nailed her like this! and like this!…and then I stole her shoes”

  21. Antonio Banderas Lakers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d pay $2000 for court-side seats too if it meant I could crap there.

  22. Pamela Anderson Wetsuit Sea Shepards Operation Zero Tolerance Antarctic Whale Defense Campaign
    Mike Hunt
    Commented on this photo:

    She jumped the shark , or did the shark jump her ?

  23. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Leather Dress
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    someone pooped their leather diaper dress again.

  24. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Lays Bag Twitter
    chicka
    Commented on this photo:

    Courtney Slobben … all over my chips! ugh!

  25. Apolo Ohno Squatting Work Out Clothes
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Just squat like that for a few minutes and let it drip out.

  26. Pamela Anderson Wetsuit Sea Shepards Operation Zero Tolerance Antarctic Whale Defense Campaign
    Mike Hunt
    Commented on this photo:

    She jumped the shark , or did the shark jump her ?

  27. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Lays Bag Twitter
    bobthebob
    Commented on this photo:

    why does anyone care about her again?

  28. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Lays Bag Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Baked Lays…is that supposed to be ironic?

  29. Chloe Sevigny Cleavage Legs Tight Leather Minidress
    Mike Hunt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wow , so this is what this feels like !”

    • William Mc Clintock

      ” I like getting high . Everything is so , uh , well , life like ! reality is soooo surreal ! I need chocolate or salty or , uh , salty and chocolate , or , yeah …. Pizza “

  30. Prince Charles Camilla Duchess Of Cornwall Topless Dancer
    Commented on this photo:

    That is a spectacular breast for a non-celebrity.

    Reality show in 3, 2, 1…

  31. Sarah Jessica Parker Son James Razor Scooter
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s MR. Ed playing The Scarecrow on the remake of Wizard of Oz.

  32. Sarah Jessica Parker Son James Razor Scooter
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    so no one has the heart to tell the kid that razor scooters are for losers?

  33. Prince Charles Camilla Duchess Of Cornwall Topless Dancer
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s the obligatory Superficial red star over the tay-tays?

  34. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Lays Bag Twitter
    The Royal Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve seen rats nibble on cheese more seductively than this.

  35. Axl Rose Fat Mickey Mouse Shirt
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Eeeevry rose gets old and withers.

    • See, at first I was going to thumbs down because that band is clearly Poison, but then I realized they are all the fucking same. So, thumbs up for you!

  36. Kye Sones X Factor Evictee
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Who has two thumbs and is a colossal douchebag?

  37. Axl Rose Fat Mickey Mouse Shirt
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    So Carrot Top went as a rock star this year? A little late for the Halloween photos, don’t ya think?

  38. Chloe Sevigny Cleavage Legs Tight Leather Minidress
    cabora
    Commented on this photo:

    She has the worst fashion sense

  39. Rhea Durham Butt Tight Jeans Mark Wahlberg Son Soccer Game
    TooCoo
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t forget the 3rd nipple when getting your annual breast exam.

  40. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Derby Day Horse Races
    The Royal Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Because after being married to Tom Cruise becoming a prototypical stepford wife isn’t really a stretch anymore….

  41. Nicole Murphy Cleavage Cowgirl Halloween Costume
    cabora
    Commented on this photo:

    Who?

  42. Jude Law Sideburns Mousache
    bobthebob
    Commented on this photo:

    my mustache tastes like soup!

  43. Prince Charles Camilla Duchess Of Cornwall Topless Dancer
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoever’s wearing the poppy is a bigger tit

  44. Prince Charles Camilla Duchess Of Cornwall Topless Dancer
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    New Guinea welcomes the “Old Guineas”. And Charles gives an approving thumbs up for his first interracial threesome.

  45. Apolo Ohno Squatting Work Out Clothes
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Too much Subway will constipate anyone.

  46. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Lays Bag Twitter
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Probably not the first time her lay is going to end up on her breasts . . .

  47. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Leather Dress
    cabora
    Commented on this photo:

    at least it’s not see through

  48. Chloe Sevigny Cleavage Legs Tight Leather Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    I wouldn’t mind seeing her in my grandfather’s sweater so much if she wasn’t also wearing my grandmother’s dominatrix outfit.

  49. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Lays Bag Twitter
    InkyBlack
    Commented on this photo:

    True fact, that bag of chips has less artificial additives in it than she has.

  50. Antonio Banderas Lakers Game
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Court-side shitter is next to the visiting team’s bench.

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