The Crap We Missed – Monday 10.24.11

October 24th, 2011 // 870 Comments

“Shucks! Ain’t no one said I look as purty as Jessicker Simpson before.”

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Ben Affleck just selling the shit out of being a parent – I’ve already stopped wearing condoms – Kim Kardashian patiently waiting for a black microphone and George Clooney realizing it’s been two weeks, 14 hours and 37 minutes since he’s had sex with a new vagina, so if you could just drop him off at the curb…

You swore to secrecy, Lithgow!

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Britney Spears Bikini Belly
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    Over the hill. Her career has got to be finished!!

  2. Ben Affleck
    adolf hitler
    Commented on this photo:

    head is lookin bigger

  3. Britney Spears Bikini Belly
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hit it.

    But only if she kept making that face.

  4. Ben Affleck
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Help me.”

    • cc

      I’ve seen that look in the eyes of many of my male friends…married, kids, running around trying to keep everyone happy. And in this case, he thinks of George Clooney.

      ‘Help me’ indeed.

  5. Phoebe Price
    adolf hitler
    Commented on this photo:

    if she doesnt scare you, no evil thing will.

  6. Britney Spears Bikini Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, it’s like the only thing that stayed the same was her face…

  7. Stacy Keibler George Clooney
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    (laughing) “How bout now?! Are we having fun NOW?”

    “Jesus, get away from me.”

  8. Ben Affleck
    Commented on this photo:

    After 20 years, Justin Bieber realizes marriage was just a croc….

  9. Vanessa Minillo Nick Lachey
    Commented on this photo:

    Everyone knows you never go full retard…

  10. Jennifer Love Hewitt No Make Up Sweatpants
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    (there must be a future husband somewhere around here….)

  11. Britney Spears Bikini Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Her stylist should be executed and then have his head put on a pike as a warning to others.

  12. David Hasselhoff
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    Salvation Army must have had a sale on suits and shoes.

  13. Snooki Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Ohio – I found that herpes-infected monkey you’ve been looking for.
    You’re welcome.

  14. Melissa Gorga Fat Suit Real Housewives Of New Jersey
    Trixie
    Commented on this photo:

    what. the. fuck.

  15. Jennifer Nicole Lee Side Boob Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s all fun and games until she un-tucks the package…

  16. imabrat

    Seriously, she HAS had two kids, so I think it’s more about the incredulity of what she chooses to wear. We’ve all chosen the wrong outfit but…. You and I have friends or spouses that hopefully would tell us when we are about to make this kind of mistake, whereas it seems like everyone within a “celebrities” circle is afraid to tell the truth, lest there be hell to pay.

    • Carla

      A+++

    • xarang

      Seriously, she HAS had two kids

      Nicole Murphy five, Heidi Klum, Brooke Burke and Stephanie Seymour four, J.Lo twins when reaching forty etc.

      Britney seems to be the laziest and least caring for her body of all celebrities, don’t defend her.

      • Karl

        my wife has had 3 and kicks the shit out of britneys body, but my wife isnt a midget eithe rbeing 5 10 in height, short women get the shitty end of the stick when it comes to having
        babies.

      • MJB

        @Karl: I’ve seen plenty of tall women with fat, shapeless bodies as well.
        Fat is fat. Doesn’t matter if you’re tall, average or short. Obviously, the taller you are, the more weight you can carry.

  17. Stacy Keibler George Clooney
    Commented on this photo:

    “So I was thinking we could spend thanksgiving at my parents. Wouldn’t that be fun??? I’m laughing just thinking about it…”

  18. Snooki Cleavage
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    Why I have a craving for meatballs right now??

  19. Julianne Hough Ryan Seacrest Ass Grab
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “I told you not to try to finger my ass in public!”

  20. Snooki Cleavage
    Derek
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn that’s an ugly orangutang.

  21. Jessie J Cleavage
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    STOP with the ‘metal horns’ if you’re not fucking METAL. Poor Dio is rolling over in his grave. :(

  22. Britney Spears Bikini Belly
    Lucy928
    Commented on this photo:

    I looove Britney (not even being sarcastic… I have been a fan for about 13 years), but she looks awful here! Her body is not as fit as it used to be, and that’s fine, but she should dress accordingly. She’s still a beautiful woman and would look so much better if she dressed her body well.

    • This^.

      AND, WHAT THE FUCK! Seriously, does she really think she looks good in the get up?

      • Jillia

        Couldn’t agree more. This get up is sad, cheesy and cheap as hell looking. Her stylist should be stoned to death. Bedazzled bra top, Bedazzled short shorts and fishnets?? You’re not 17 and 110 lbs anymore! You’re 30 with 2 kids and an extra 40 lbs. If she really wants to make a comeback, she should reinvent herself (or at least start dressing a little more elegant, she’d still look good and sexy) instead of trying to milk the old hot bubble gum Britney for all it’s worth.

  23. Christina Milian Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, yes little girl, finger licking good is exactly what I was thinking too…

  24. Brandi Glanville Cleavage
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    Well where else do you go to hang your titties out??

  25. Jennifer Love Hewitt No Make Up Sweatpants
    wtf
    Commented on this photo:

    frumpalicious.

  26. Kim Kardashian Cleavage
    Derek
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s already stretching for the Tyler Perry movie. Now that’s an actress.

  27. Russell Brand Katy Perry Bike Ride
    Commented on this photo:

    From occupying Wall Street to occupying Katy Perry, Russel Brand truly understands the meaning of hardship

  28. Vanessa Minillo Nick Lachey
    MInky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s her impression of his sex face.

  29. Russell Brand Katy Perry Bike Ride
    wtf
    Commented on this photo:

    gee …. they are so edgy.

  30. Jennifer Love Hewitt No Make Up Sweatpants
    Commented on this photo:

    Now THAT is a “I give-up” statement.

  31. the greasy butthole look! i love it!

  32. Ben Affleck
    bonerspunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Silly Ben, he thinks a hideous toupee and a beard is a good disguise, no one would recognize him if he just went with the natural receding male pattern baldness. He was the bombs in Phantoms tho!!!

  33. Lauren Stoner Bikini Butt
    RickyLong
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy Shit! Look at the terd cutter on that one! Who is she?… I haven’t a clue.

  34. Lea Michele Side Boob
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    HA-CHADDA-CHA-CHA

  35. Salma Hayek Antonio Banderas
    Commented on this photo:

    Señorita, I would like to put my boot in your puss…

  36. Salma Hayek Antonio Banderas
    wtf
    Commented on this photo:

    Well played Antonio. Well played.

  37. Salma Hayek Antonio Banderas
    Commented on this photo:

    Melanie will need another facelift after seen this picture.

  38. Britney Spears Bikini Belly
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like she is starting to bud a couple additional sets of tits under the originals. She could feed a whole litter of piglets.

  39. Enrique Iglesias
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    Total hotness!! Yes I would.

  40. Charlie Sheen
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s really sad when Lindsay’s teeth look just like his.

  41. Karissa Shannon See Through Dress Butt
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    nice cottage cheese thighs, whore.

  42. Ben Affleck
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he is devolving into some sort of neanderthal.

  43. David Hasselhoff
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh no, it looks like he’s walking to the driver seat side. HELP!

  44. Vanessa Minillo Nick Lachey
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    The ol’ finger in the butt gag, classic

  45. Charlie Sheen
    wtf
    Commented on this photo:

    not a single f*ck was given.

  46. Britney Spears Bikini Belly
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Freaking sloppy mess has the nerve to charge foolish fans huge amounts of money to see her stomp around & lip synch…looking like THIS.
    Oh wait. Brit Brit is just a puppet of cash rakers dad & agent BF. It’ll be fun to watch their puppet burst & splatter them with shame, disgust & scandal. It is coming.

  47. Jennifer Love Hewitt No Make Up Sweatpants
    Lucy928
    Commented on this photo:

    WHAT IS SHE WEARING! This pains me. She is so cute. She reminds me of myself during my junior year of college… My best friends had an intervention. They told me to stop wearing pajama pants around campus and take some pride in myself. It seriously changed my life. If I see Jennifer, I will definitely do this!!!

  48. Phoebe Price
    RickyLong
    Commented on this photo:

    For a second I thought Britney had her boob job redone. Then I opened the thumb and realized they were still the same.

  49. Melissa Gorga Fat Suit Real Housewives Of New Jersey
    Commented on this photo:

    This is pretty messed up. That’s not a fat suit. That’s the bastard child of Elmo and the stay puft marshmallow man…

  50. Kristina Shannon Tight Dress Butt
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    LOOK OUT, the herpes are airborne now!!!

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