“Shucks! Ain’t no one said I look as purty as Jessicker Simpson before.”
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Ben Affleck just selling the shit out of being a parent – I’ve already stopped wearing condoms – Kim Kardashian patiently waiting for a black microphone and George Clooney realizing it’s been two weeks, 14 hours and 37 minutes since he’s had sex with a new vagina, so if you could just drop him off at the curb…
You swore to secrecy, Lithgow!
- The Superficial
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Over the hill. Her career has got to be finished!!
‘Crap We Missed’ is apropos. I miss when she wasn’t 150 lbs of crap in a 105 lb bucket.
head is lookin bigger
I’d hit it.
But only if she kept making that face.
“Help me.”
I’ve seen that look in the eyes of many of my male friends…married, kids, running around trying to keep everyone happy. And in this case, he thinks of George Clooney.
‘Help me’ indeed.
Ha ha ! His wife has a man-jaw too. FML
if she doesnt scare you, no evil thing will.
not even Hitler himself was as scary as that fucking face. WOW.
she looks like that chick from the black hole sun video eeesh
Man, it’s like the only thing that stayed the same was her face…
(laughing) “How bout now?! Are we having fun NOW?”
“Jesus, get away from me.”
Spot on.
After 20 years, Justin Bieber realizes marriage was just a croc….
Everyone knows you never go full retard…
Yes!
(there must be a future husband somewhere around here….)
Her stylist should be executed and then have his head put on a pike as a warning to others.
Salvation Army must have had a sale on suits and shoes.
Hey Ohio – I found that herpes-infected monkey you’ve been looking for.
You’re welcome.
Why didn’t you shoot it when you had the chance?
what. the. fuck.
It’s all fun and games until she un-tucks the package…
Seriously, she HAS had two kids, so I think it’s more about the incredulity of what she chooses to wear. We’ve all chosen the wrong outfit but…. You and I have friends or spouses that hopefully would tell us when we are about to make this kind of mistake, whereas it seems like everyone within a “celebrities” circle is afraid to tell the truth, lest there be hell to pay.
A+++
Seriously, she HAS had two kids
—
Nicole Murphy five, Heidi Klum, Brooke Burke and Stephanie Seymour four, J.Lo twins when reaching forty etc.
Britney seems to be the laziest and least caring for her body of all celebrities, don’t defend her.
my wife has had 3 and kicks the shit out of britneys body, but my wife isnt a midget eithe rbeing 5 10 in height, short women get the shitty end of the stick when it comes to having
babies.
@Karl: I’ve seen plenty of tall women with fat, shapeless bodies as well.
Fat is fat. Doesn’t matter if you’re tall, average or short. Obviously, the taller you are, the more weight you can carry.
“So I was thinking we could spend thanksgiving at my parents. Wouldn’t that be fun??? I’m laughing just thinking about it…”
Why I have a craving for meatballs right now??
“I told you not to try to finger my ass in public!”
Beat me to it :) +1
Damn that’s an ugly orangutang.
STOP with the ‘metal horns’ if you’re not fucking METAL. Poor Dio is rolling over in his grave. :(
I looove Britney (not even being sarcastic… I have been a fan for about 13 years), but she looks awful here! Her body is not as fit as it used to be, and that’s fine, but she should dress accordingly. She’s still a beautiful woman and would look so much better if she dressed her body well.
This^.
AND, WHAT THE FUCK! Seriously, does she really think she looks good in the get up?
Couldn’t agree more. This get up is sad, cheesy and cheap as hell looking. Her stylist should be stoned to death. Bedazzled bra top, Bedazzled short shorts and fishnets?? You’re not 17 and 110 lbs anymore! You’re 30 with 2 kids and an extra 40 lbs. If she really wants to make a comeback, she should reinvent herself (or at least start dressing a little more elegant, she’d still look good and sexy) instead of trying to milk the old hot bubble gum Britney for all it’s worth.
Yes, yes little girl, finger licking good is exactly what I was thinking too…
Well where else do you go to hang your titties out??
frumpalicious.
She’s already stretching for the Tyler Perry movie. Now that’s an actress.
From occupying Wall Street to occupying Katy Perry, Russel Brand truly understands the meaning of hardship
That’s her impression of his sex face.
gee …. they are so edgy.
Now THAT is a “I give-up” statement.
the greasy butthole look! i love it!
Silly Ben, he thinks a hideous toupee and a beard is a good disguise, no one would recognize him if he just went with the natural receding male pattern baldness. He was the bombs in Phantoms tho!!!
Holy Shit! Look at the terd cutter on that one! Who is she?… I haven’t a clue.
HA-CHADDA-CHA-CHA
an oldie, but a classic nonetheless.
Señorita, I would like to put my boot in your puss…
Well played Antonio. Well played.
Melanie will need another facelift after seen this picture.
It looks like she is starting to bud a couple additional sets of tits under the originals. She could feed a whole litter of piglets.
Total hotness!! Yes I would.
It’s really sad when Lindsay’s teeth look just like his.
nice cottage cheese thighs, whore.
No way that “Any Guy” (from above) is a guy with a jealous bitch comment like that!!!
if that’s cottage cheese, the i request an extra large helping please (with extra whore)
I think he is devolving into some sort of neanderthal.
Oh no, it looks like he’s walking to the driver seat side. HELP!
Right-hand drive in the UK… small miracles and such.
The ol’ finger in the butt gag, classic
Beat me to it!
not a single f*ck was given.
Freaking sloppy mess has the nerve to charge foolish fans huge amounts of money to see her stomp around & lip synch…looking like THIS.
Oh wait. Brit Brit is just a puppet of cash rakers dad & agent BF. It’ll be fun to watch their puppet burst & splatter them with shame, disgust & scandal. It is coming.
yes yes indeed – and I, for one, am looking forward to the next wave of busted beaver shots!
WHAT IS SHE WEARING! This pains me. She is so cute. She reminds me of myself during my junior year of college… My best friends had an intervention. They told me to stop wearing pajama pants around campus and take some pride in myself. It seriously changed my life. If I see Jennifer, I will definitely do this!!!
For a second I thought Britney had her boob job redone. Then I opened the thumb and realized they were still the same.
This is pretty messed up. That’s not a fat suit. That’s the bastard child of Elmo and the stay puft marshmallow man…
LOOK OUT, the herpes are airborne now!!!