Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which once again lives up to the bloated mess this thing tends to be after a weekend of, how to put this, celebrinanigans? Anyway, today we’ve got Gerard Depardieu really letting loose (*takes bow*) at the premiere of I’m Not Even Going To Pretend To Give A Shit About The Title Of This Movie, Because You Don’t, Bristol Palin wantin’ preggers again, Daryl Hannah letting us know how many more surgeries before the penis is operational, while Arnold Schwarzenegger wisely put a chain on his before a live television appearance, Taylor Swift‘s photo for The Joy Book, the coolest dad in the world, followed by the polar opposite of that, and finally, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?
The photo agency literally only had five of these. I call that kismet,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
aging well. Still looks nice
who gives a fuck about your neighbor’s step-mom
I thought it was Kim Kardashian
That aint a compliment
White dont look good on anyone but the Good Humor man , girls
Speak for yourself, buddy. If a girl has to wear pants, let them be white.
I have no opinion about the color, but I also thought it was Kim Kardashian.
Comparing Eva Longoria to Kim Kardashian. That’s comedy, folks!
OMG!! is that a fat suit and makeup? He has always been on the heavy side but this is “Fat Bastard” realm.
Honestly, I thought it was someone in a Fat Bastard get up.
Is he…getting drunk with a puppet???
nice shoes, bieber.
He’s got some serious Peter Kanklage.
Well what else would you wear with those capris?
Hey everyone, let’s check out the rafters instead of the stale old cooch!
Sicilians.
Perfect
[img]http://leerader.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/gal_mob_true-romance.jpg[/img]
Oh yes! “The Sicilians were spawned by niggers!” LOVE LOVE LOVE True Romance.
Rockin’ the PTA, bitches.
I hate him.
And all this time I thought the Penguin in Batman was Danny de Vito.
I definitely did NOT need to see “that”.
How do you say “Jabba” in French?
If Looney Tunes has taught me anything, it’s “Le Jabba”.
Obélix
Hoffman doesn’t trust him…not one bit.
That is SO fetch!
I have no idea what you said, but it sounds really gay.
No offense or anything.
He’s referencing a line she says in Mean Girls.
was the explanation supposed to help make it sound less gay? it didn’t.
Ah, 1962, I remember it well.
I just heard a slide whistle making a descending note.
bitch didn’t write no goddamn book.
All you guys out there can make with the witty titty zingers,
Im a WOMAN and I say “Girrrrrrrrrrrrrl, those shoes dont match SHIT!”
Leather shoes go with leathery shins.
You’re an idiot.
It matches her phony smile.
Non-matchy shoes are the thing these days. Get with the times. Sincerely, Woman Who Is Usually Barefoot
Dang, those kids got big!
Yeah, big enough to snatch the spoon out of her hand and turn it around on her.
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/01/gosselin-spoon-340_255.jpg[/img]
Baby bump!
well that is fat. as she had ovaline or uterine cancer a few years ago so they removed something to save her life but left her barren. which from her voice is a good thing.
You must be a lot of fun at parties.
His next story is about the lottery winner who ended broke and abandoned by his family.
Mmm, delicious chocolatey ovaltine cancer.
He must be wearing his v-neck tee under the button down.
Dear lord. Do you think someone like Carmen Electra realizes its time to hang up the sexy outfits and just sit on the front porch drinking iced tea? I mean honestly, enough already.
“I dont want to see that.” Valerie Cherish
He thinks he dresses cool? Looks like he picked his clothes to wear in the dark.
and they were picked out of a dumpster…what an fugly chipmunk cheeked asshole. those pants and shoes are so Justin Beiber.
Mmmm…yes.
I FOUND THE LESBIAN!
What do I win?
He sees a food truck coming
Come, me honeys, come to me cave of magical wonders, hehehehehe waugh! waugh!
That secret service guy over his right shoulder looks like he just had a heart attack.
i want to push her off the bike.
I would like to open my car door.
And suppose she lost her chipmunk font teeth in the fall- while it might affect her singing, it could make her better at something infinitely more useful.
“Momma, tell meh about how I was born againnnnn…”
He’s making the same face I make whenever I see him.
Chris Brown again?
“Who wants to hug this jacket? Come on….don’t be shy.”
Uh, ma’am can you please put your pants on?
Now I really hate the Raiders!
and teachers.
Ahhhh….the joy of youth.
“Daryl, how many decades ago were you considered attractive?”
3 if like me you go all the way back to Blade Runner. Replicant sex is best.
Nice POA he’s got with him. I bet she’s very deep.
I’m certain she is… now.
Is the French Chaz Bono pronounced Shay Bohnohohoho?
“I don’t always act like a douchebag but when I…wait…actually I kinda do”
Yes.
J is for what you need to smoke before reading her book.
Maybe it’s the darkeness of my monitor, but I’m only seeing Bill Clinton in the dark surounded by glowing eyes, teeth and fingernails like an old Bugs Bunny cartoon.
Grow up
Dennis Rodman has been there. It doesn’t matter what else she ever does, says, wears . . . Dennis Rodman.
Eva Longoria’s career has sunk to a new low: auditioning for the Kim Kardashian lookalike contest.
I’m sorry, there are too many disproportionally fat, gender-ambiguous people in this photo to just caption it “Jonah Hill in New York.”
(dont look down…..dont look down….the wife is watching you….dont look down)
You already… have, Luke. You were right. You were right about me. Tell your sister… you were right.
She’s like the Loony Tunes before they learn about gravity. As soon as she reads a physics book that boob is falling to her navel.
They should have fully extended his legs before taking this picture.
bravo!
“You boys got any sisters?”