Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed: A Case Study in Why Aging Celebrities Should Never Allow Themselves To Be Photographed. Unless of course, you’re Helen Mirren standing next to Helen Hunt, in which case, take every opportunity for this you can get, because I honestly couldn’t say who’s older than who here. In keeping with this theme, I’m just going to rattle off these names and listen into the distance for your horrified shrieks because I’m a disturbed sonofabitch who giggles with delight at that sort of thing: Alan Arkin, Charo, James Caan and Martin Sheen.
Although in fairness, old Martino Estevez still has a leg up on his boy,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
You know she’s a keeper when she can give you purple nurpples with her feet…
Herp, it does a body… uhmmm whatever this is…
Did you mean Hep? Hep C to be exact?
Travolta is doing Hairspray 2?
http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/travolta-hairspray-nightmar.jpg
I have no need to see Gary Busey’s driver’s license photo to know it’s him…
She used to be a handsome man, but now she’s turning into that guy that was mutated and turned to water in the first X-MEN movie.
“I understand your life did not turn out as you had anticipated. Yes? Gaze deep into my dreamy eyes as I play for you the worlds smallest violin.”
This is the facial transition that occurs when someone asks him about his recent work… and then mentions one of his sons…
She’s working her like a ventriloquist puppet…
We have a winner!
What do you mean “like?”
Even SHE is scared of her hair…
Strangely enough, this is the least crazy I’ve seen him look in years
His eyes almost look normal. Almost.
Fish, I hate to tell you how to do your job but I believe this is that Venus dude…
Damn it this new image system….
Trying to use arrow keys huh?
It’s infuriating…
Fish, I hate to tell you how to do your job but I believe this is that Venus dude…
“Cran! You forgot to put the bins out!”
“Thanks, Gazza.”
In the Disney Star Wars reboot Jabba-the-Hut is a transvestite.
Jabba the Hutt was my First Thought Also
She’s dressed just like LeeLoo from Fifth element… except for… you know… the whole using a parachute for material thing…
Fuck you, Kevin Pollak.
That’s a great standup bit.
They’re both imagining the paydays ahead from Kim’s baby…
Hi Rose. How’s the job-hunt?
Wow, talk about only having one good side… Poor guy…
It’s the side that makes him look like a skinny Ricky Gervais.
The face of innocence.
Simon
How cute… A-rod likes to play hide-and-go-seek with his maid and his boyfriend…
“Someone’s in my fruit cellar! Someone with a fresh soul!”
A joke about how she looks like Dog the Bounty Hunter.
“Where Does He Get All Those Wonderful Toys?”
“Look at how they’ve massacred my boy.”
“Carmen who? Oh right, no she’s just a whore I pay from time to time”
Britney Spears?
“How the hell did ny lips end u’ on the ceiling?”
Interestingly enough, Ryan Seacrest makes the same face when a woman does that.
Bio-Dome
FemmePlastic!
Ugh… I’d rather do James Caan.
Someone made a poopie while explaining what boobs feel like.
She smells like Coochie Coochie!
Chastity Bono’s transformation is finally complete.
Look at me! I’m half of the covers from “Rolling Stone” magazine!
AKA – Skateboarding Jesus Baldwin
“Well, Pinch my nipples, that pussy looks good!”
You can tell her age by counting the rings on her forehead.
The other way is to count the rings of scars from stitches around her nipples.
This is what happens when the botox wears off and they can’t pull the skin back anymore.
Simon begins the preliminary foreplay by working over his own moobs. The man knows what he likes best.
If she was pregnant she’d be holding it up with her hand. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER STOMACH?
LOL. No shit… every other picture to date she’s holding on to it like it’s going to fall off.
Demonstrating how he tried to hold on to Kate with his wittle warry hands…
Woah how time has passed!
Who’s going to tell her that he would rather do James Caan too?
His neck-gina looks freshly waxed.
“”I’m melting! Melting! Oh, what a world, what a world!”"
Wish I could bash, but I can’t…He got Lohan at her prime…17.
Someone, somewhere had sex with this thing.
Jack Nicholson, in the 70s and 80s.
to be fair, he was drinking alot back then, and doing alot of cocaine.