The Crap We Missed – Friday 9.16.11

“Along with his divine powers to pop and subsequently lock, the Maple Messiah shall posses, uh.. the ability to communicate with whales. Like Aquaman! Yes, Aquaman, and, okay, we’re just making shit up like that other Bible.” Book of Bieber, Chapter 4, Verse My Moms Says We Can Hold Hands, Girl.

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed that I’m literally hurling up while running out the door, but not before softly, gently inserting dear, sweet Kelly Brook in her preferred non-horribly Photoshopped state.

See you tomorrow with Most Important People,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN