The Crap We Missed – Friday 8.30.13

August 30th, 2013 // 382 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which fittingly caps the week with the flat, white-girl ass that twerked the Internet into seizures. For the record, Miley, you weren’t and will never even be close to doing this. Shut that shit down. We can all stop obsessing about that now and get back to our normal, civilized Internet behavior which yes, of course, means tearing apart these people for anything we can think of at all. There’s Beyonce with her poor people bat Aunt GOOP made for Blue Ivy (Goddamnit, I hate even typing that.), Jared Leto and his asshole’s silent cry for help, and Willie Geist who apparently is a sick sonofabitch. “Hey Brooke, you know how you’re mentally unbalanced? Take a look at how pretty you used to be.”

See you Tuesday,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Nabilla Benattia Cleavage Legs Spandex Dress Genlux Magazine Issue Release Party
    MrG
    Commented on this photo:

    I think there must be a mistake in that caption. And if there’s not, I’ll be sobbing in the corner…

  2. Nabilla Benattia Cleavage Legs Spandex Dress Genlux Magazine Issue Release Party
    Stacy
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, that is NOT Alecia Keys.

  3. Corey Feldman Intermix Store
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    An regrettable situation caused by Feldman’s diminishing hooker funds and CarrotTop’s insatiable need for a dick in his ass.

  4. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Hanging Out Of Daisy Dukes
    teddy
    Commented on this photo:

    What We Missed at 10am?? weaksauce…..

  5. Shailene Woodley Short Hair Mountain Spring Water Mason Jar Sandwich The Fault In Our Stars Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mountain Spring Water” is also known as moonshine

  6. Brooke Shields Willie Geist Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “And then he touched me there…and there… and then we won an award at Cannes!”

  7. Bill Clinton Hamptons
    Commented on this photo:

    “Before ‘lunch’, this was a blue dress”….

  8. Penny Lancaster Pushing Rod Stewart Head Down Into Car
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Carrot Top get a sex change operation?

  9. Jessica Biel Butt Clingy Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Jessica Biehl from 10 years in the future confronts current Jessica to “get that Miley Cyrus shit” off her ipod.

  10. Anthony Weiner Speaking At Fast Food Worker Rally Union Square
    Commented on this photo:

    I have a dream…about touching all of your collective breasts at once

  11. Anthony Weiner Speaking At Fast Food Worker Rally Union Square
    Commented on this photo:

    Promoting his “Weiner-Wage” agenda?

  12. Lady Gaga Bodysuit Crotch Wedgie Black Tight Veil
    Commented on this photo:

    yawn

  13. Kelly Clarkson Cleavage Fat Jowls Maroon 5 Show
    Commented on this photo:

    No doubt she will be People Magazine’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” next year.

  14. Corey Feldman Intermix Store
    Commented on this photo:

    He can only afford the tranny ones now.

  15. Brooke Shields Willie Geist Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “Brooke, did you know that Deacon Jones used to masturbate onto Barbie dolls?”

  16. Anthony Weiner Speaking At Fast Food Worker Rally Union Square
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ho—llly shit do you guys smell like fries!”

  17. Kelly Clarkson Cleavage Fat Jowls Maroon 5 Show
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    After the concert, the Lions signed her to be their new Left Tackle.

  18. Nabilla Benattia Cleavage Legs Spandex Dress Genlux Magazine Issue Release Party
    Commented on this photo:

    she told the surgeon, “I want them to look so fake, they leave no doubt to the observer”.

    “I take Visa” he replied.

  19. Helen Hunt Wrinkly Old Lady Mouth Ride Set
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Margaret McPoyle cleans up nice.

  20. Serena Williams Huge Butt Spandex Shorts US Open
    Commented on this photo:

    “YABBAaaa DABBAaa DOOOOOO!”

  21. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Hanging Out Of Daisy Dukes
    Commented on this photo:

    California Sun Ranch eggs…
    They’ll make you twerk in the morning…

  22. Nabilla Benattia Cleavage Legs Spandex Dress Genlux Magazine Issue Release Party
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s your best angle baebe. Now stay there while I whip this out.

  23. Simon Cowell Lauren Silverman Makeout
    Commented on this photo:

    “Com on luv…. Suck face with me. I want to send this pic to your ex.
    Nah he’s totally cool about things now. I swear.”

  24. Bill Clinton Hamptons
    Commented on this photo:

    Your move, Barry…

  25. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Hanging Out Of Daisy Dukes
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a hideous little varmint. And this is her best side…sad.

  26. Anthony Weiner Speaking At Fast Food Worker Rally Union Square
    Commented on this photo:

    “Now HOLD ON!
    I didn’t gather your phone numbers JUST so I could sext you all..
    98%.. I swear…

  27. Beyonce Cleavage Dollar Bill Covered Bat Music Video
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing pretentious to see here.. Move along…

  28. Bill Clinton Hamptons
    Commented on this photo:

    Bill is obviously down with the “dark skin + little T-Rex arms” chicks.

  29. Jessica Biel Butt Clingy Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s smuggling something under that dress.

  30. Simon Cowell Lauren Silverman Makeout
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, seriously, I’m not going to kiss you until you explain that fucking shirt to me.”

  31. Terry Richardson Jared Leto OK Symbol
    Commented on this photo:

    Terry: “I got two thumbs”
    Jared: “Here’s where you can put them”

  32. Brooke Shields Willie Geist Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    No, no, NO! If you take it out of the box, it loses all of it’s val… Oh, wait, sorry, never mind.

  33. Nicole Scherzinger Cleavage Squeezing Boobs Together
    Commented on this photo:

    Now I’M sporting a Scherzinger…

  34. Bill Clinton Hamptons
    Commented on this photo:

    As one woman desperately looks for an out, Renée Zellweger moves in…

  35. Anthony Weiner Speaking At Fast Food Worker Rally Union Square
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he still campaigning? This guys erection has lasted waaay longer than four hours.

  36. Anthony Weiner Speaking At Fast Food Worker Rally Union Square
    ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, look at those calluses!

  37. Alicia Keys Wide Hips Pink Pants GMA
    ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is her body on backwards?

  38. Lady Gaga Bodysuit Crotch Wedgie Black Tight Veil
    Commented on this photo:

    Are tyranno-arms a thing now?

  39. Alicia Keys Wide Hips Pink Pants GMA
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    LLoyd Christmas haircut and Taylor Swift pants. Not a good look.

  40. Nabilla Benattia Cleavage Legs Spandex Dress Genlux Magazine Issue Release Party
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah… still totally would.

  41. Jessica Biel Butt Clingy Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    A helpful hippie advises Jessica on how to ad a frumpy sweater to avoid having men see her as a de-personalised object of desire instead of as an individual with a complex personality…

  42. Corey Feldman Intermix Store
    ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    And that’s how Brooke Shields learned to twerk.

  43. Shailene Woodley Short Hair Mountain Spring Water Mason Jar Sandwich The Fault In Our Stars Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Every Shailene has a mason jar to drink out of.

  44. Penny Lancaster Pushing Rod Stewart Head Down Into Car
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look at me, I’m twerking!”
    “That’s not… *sigh, goodnight, Grandpa.”

  45. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Hanging Out Of Daisy Dukes
    Kenny G
    Commented on this photo:

    Cankles

  46. Tia Mowry Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    What happened in the life of the poor papparazzo that following this C-lister is the the best he can do?

  47. Corey Feldman Intermix Store
    Commented on this photo:

    Kathy Griffin looks great!

  48. Lady Gaga Bodysuit Crotch Wedgie Black Tight Veil
    Commented on this photo:

    To be fair, there WERE reports of bees.

  49. Alicia Keys Wide Hips Pink Pants GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the lower half of Jonah Hill.

  50. Lady Gaga Bodysuit Crotch Wedgie Black Tight Veil
    Fat Foot
    Commented on this photo:

    Must be promoting a god awful album or something. Or just a big Michael Jackson fan.

    Yawn x2

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