The Crap We Missed – Friday 7.15.11

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where yadda yadda yadda Jennifer Love Hewitt emerged from her cocoon as the cat lady. Listen, something happens at the end that’s kind of like a Rorschach test. Some of you are going to see something really awesome, some of you are you going to jab yourself in the eye with a clear stripper heel and some of you are going to see my dad punching Santa Claus in the dick because today’s supposed to be about Baby Jesus. You want me to burn this tree down? I’ll burn this fucking tree down. Now, son, make me a coat out of fat-

Wait, how long have I been typing? Everything went black there for a minute. Eh, I’m sure it’s all hilarious, so I’ll just go ahead and hit “Publish” without proofreading. As usual.


- Chester A. Arthur

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN