The Crap We Missed – Friday 7.12.13

July 12th, 2013 // 318 Comments

So here’s your Friday edition of The Crap We Missed, that’s coming at you early, because Fish is hard at work stuffing LEGO references into a Pacific Rim review. “Man, you lazy fucks are cutting out early to go to a movie again!” you say? AHAHA– Sadly no. Someone decided to go see a late show without me last night, so I’ll be taking the afternoon to decopage a certain coffee mug — that may or may not have ‘World’s Greatest Tit Photo Editor’ stenciled on it — with pictures of a slight-framed, spiky-haired manchild wearing only a Captain America t-shirt and smashing it with a sledgehammer.

As for you guys, my loyal friends who I can always count on to tell me whose butts need how much of your pee, you get to enjoy the last thing Alec Baldwin will see before rage bursts from his chest in the form of red mist, Paris Hilton‘s utmost respect for the law, and Honey Boo Boo‘s parents signing copies of the book their family wrote because why not kick me when I’m down, universe, go ahead, I can’t get any lower.

I can still smell the butter on you, you bastard. I hope it was worth it,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Ireland Baldwin Licking Slater Trouts Abs Instagram
    Baginaface
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks 7 years old.

  2. TheJoaker

    FYI I’m not watching the “sister,sister” twins’ reality show. Stop fucking reminding me it exists

  3. Bruce Jenner Pissed Off Look
    Jack Ketch
    Commented on this photo:

    FREAK. Jesus, stop with the plastic surgery already.

  4. Ireland Baldwin Licking Slater Trouts Abs Instagram
    Gen
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m so relieved that this is not a picture of a 12 year old licking someone’s abs because it REALLY looked like it.

    • The picture shows how the face of a 17 year old appears when not covered with shoveled on make up trying to imitate a porn actress.

      (See Courtney Stodden at 17.)

  5. Ireland Baldwin Licking Slater Trouts Abs Instagram
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Have lots of safe sex kids. That’s how you get good at it. This knowledge will serve you well throughout your life.

  6. Iggy Pop Shirtless Leathery Skin
    Commented on this photo:

    They’ve already started filming on Sharknado 2? Eh, good for Tara, she needs the work.

  7. Ireland Baldwin Licking Slater Trouts Abs Instagram
    emma watson's vagina
    Commented on this photo:

    it does look like a little kid doing it

  8. June Shannon Mike Thompson Honey Boo Boo Book Signing
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    And we wonder why the world mocks us..

  9. June Shannon Mike Thompson Honey Boo Boo Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Glad they got dressed up for the book signing. No really.

  10. Bruce Springsteen Huge Pit Stains
    Commented on this photo:

    “BABY I WAS BORN..TO SWEAAAAT…WHOA OH OHHHHH”

  11. Maria Shriver Creepy Face Virgin Mary Tee Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes I like to picture baby Jesus up in heaven thinking, “Yes, when I said ‘come, follow me,’ graphic t-shirts and giant trashy crucifix tattoos are exactly what I had in mind.”

  12. Ke$ha Gold Tooth Fishnets Mesh Shirt BBC Studios
    emma watson's vagina
    Commented on this photo:

    wonder why Michelle Trachenberg is not with her

  13. Ireland Baldwin Licking Slater Trouts Abs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Pony at 8 years old.. Got it.

  14. Jonah Hill Neck Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    “She’s looking at you.”
    “No she’s not!”
    “Yes she is”
    “No she’s not”
    “She’s not you’re right, you’re a fat fuck.”

  15. Jonah Hill Neck Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ahahahahahahahaha.”
    “Ahahahahahahahaha.”
    “Aww.”
    “Ahem.”

  16. June Shannon Mike Thompson Honey Boo Boo Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Please tell me it’s a pop-up book made from fast-food wrappers…

  17. June Shannon Mike Thompson Honey Boo Boo Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    The book should have been called “Pimp Your Ride: How to ride your child’s coat-tails into the double wide trailer of your dreams.”

  18. Bruce Willis Checking Out Wife Emma Hemings Ass Red 2 Premiere
    Weeblo
    Commented on this photo:

    Bruce doing a pre-flight check

  19. Ireland Baldwin Licking Slater Trouts Abs Instagram
    Brittani
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought this was a little girl.

  20. Bruce Willis Checking Out Wife Emma Hemings Ass Red 2 Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I like the easy-access zipper. He doesnt even have to work up a sweat

  21. Catherine Zeta Jones Cleavage Red 2 Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not a medical doctor, but that sure looks like arm herpes to me…

  22. Ireland Baldwin Licking Slater Trouts Abs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    WHY DOES SHE LOOK SO YOUNG. Ugh making people reevaluate sexualizing teenagers is the worst. Way to go, Fish.

    • Don’t condemn the man – it’s a moral dliemna. On one hand, he’s promoting the sexual objectification of an underaged girl by displaying an image of said underaged girl performing a mock sexual act while looking even more underaged than she is. Yet he is simulatenously also promoting a Baldwin brain aneurysm. What to do? What to do?

    • ethan

      “sexualizing teenagers”? WTF. Teenagers are naturally sexualized. It start with noncturnal emissions. If you are coming in your sleep, you are fully sexualized. Don’t let some Victorian hangups deny this reality about humanity.

  23. Paris Hilton On Cell Phone Getting A Ticket
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hold on, hon. I gotta give a breathalyzer..
    Officer, can you come around to this side? I can get a better angle from this seat”

  24. Sophie Simmons Cleavage Nipples Red 2 Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does she have a piece of jewelry with David Spade’s face on it?

  25. Scott Disick
    Commented on this photo:

    “What you call me, PUSSY?!”

    “I’m talking to my gay lover.”

    “That’s what I THOUGHT, asshole”

  26. Prince Charles Talking To Little Girl Coronation Festival Royal Preview
    Commented on this photo:

    So, June and her husband were signing books and Honey Boo Boo was meeting Prince Charles?

  27. Prince Charles Talking To Little Girl Coronation Festival Royal Preview
    Commented on this photo:

    “Call me sausage fingers again and I shall have my mommy repatriate all your lands…”

  28. Coco Cleavage Suspenders Old Modeling Photo Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Coco is looking a little Crispy.

  29. Iggy Pop Shirtless Leathery Skin
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude looks as if he was covered in testicle skin…

  30. Bruce Jenner Pissed Off Look
    Commented on this photo:

    (“take the Porsche today Bruce” she says…”look at these hot pics of Kendall” she says…)

    “Fuck this, Im getting some eyelid Botox today to make me feel better”

  31. Iggy Pop Shirtless Leathery Skin
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re getting pretty good with that “Fake Scar” goop they sell at Halloween. Very realistic.

  32. Iggy Pop Shirtless Leathery Skin
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I the only one who thinks of pineapple upside-down cake when I look at his nipple?

  33. Bruce Jenner Pissed Off Look
    Commented on this photo:

    If you keep making that face, it will get stuck that w….HOLY SHIT…it’s stuck.

  34. Paris Hilton On Cell Phone Getting A Ticket
    Commented on this photo:

    Ma’am, I’m citing you for exceeding your 15 minutes of fame.

  35. June Shannon Mike Thompson Honey Boo Boo Book Signing
    Hugh Jazz
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sir, is the manatee sitting next to you going to require some kind of fresh fish in a bucket?”
    “Mana-what? Looky here, that’s my wife, and I loves her no matter WUT! And yes a bucket of fish would do nicely.”

  36. Paris Hilton On Cell Phone Getting A Ticket
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The potency of her STDs makes all that protective gear a necessity.

  37. Bruce Jenner Pissed Off Look
    JW
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: Shia LaBeouf walking 3 paces ahead of him.

  38. Ke$ha Gold Tooth Fishnets Mesh Shirt BBC Studios
    Commented on this photo:

    Those dots aren’t part of the outfit. Those are actually the injection points for all the HPV vaccine shots she’s received.

  39. Ireland Baldwin Licking Slater Trouts Abs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    My money is on a 6 month countdown to go from “photo licking Slater Trout” to “video licking Slater’s trout”

  40. June Shannon Mike Thompson Honey Boo Boo Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    *whispers* “dude, let me get this straight…you fucked THAT?”

  41. Bruce Willis Checking Out Wife Emma Hemings Ass Red 2 Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, check it out! Your ass and my head are exactly the same shape.

  42. Prince Charles Talking To Little Girl Coronation Festival Royal Preview
    Commented on this photo:

    Prince Charles meets Honey Boo Boo…white trash all over America are pissing themselves to watch.

  43. Coco Cleavage Suspenders Old Modeling Photo Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    you forgot the quotes around “modeling”

  44. Iggy Pop Shirtless Leathery Skin
    Commented on this photo:

    I see Buffalo Bill finally finished his skin dress.

  45. Kathy Griffin Middle Finger Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino
    Commented on this photo:

    Edgy…

  46. Iggy Pop Shirtless Leathery Skin
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    Press him really hard against it, and you can read the newspaper off his chest.

  47. Maria Shriver Creepy Face Virgin Mary Tee Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s ironic that she’s wearing a mexican religious cliche and her husband was screwing a mexican career cliche.

  48. Bruce Jenner Pissed Off Look
    Commented on this photo:

    You’d make that face too if you just got out of a car full of wookie farts.

  49. Bruce Jenner Pissed Off Look
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    Look Janice Dickinson, keep your hair black, you look better.

  50. Paris Hilton On Cell Phone Getting A Ticket
    Commented on this photo:

    Officer, you’ll need the full HAZMAT suit.

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