The Crap We Missed – Friday 6.22.12

June 22nd, 2012 // 456 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which follows the Usher caption post, so just assume Fish and I are already polishing our retail/food service resumes. That said, and I know it’s a futile effort, I’d just like to say, Kidding, Ush! (White people can call him “Ush,” right? I’ve just created a whole new set of problems, haven’t I? Goddammmit.) Anyway, to make amends, today’s crap is almost entirely cleavage shots with a few exceptions. Most notably, Joe Jonas dining out, and no, that’s not one side of a four person booth, Ashlee Simpson continuing to be the hot one at least until every Chili’s hostess gets those bear traps in place, and finally Venus and Serena Williams absolutely shit-tanked after Sir Richard Branson‘s Wimbledon party, which, considering their body composition, probably means there’s no alcohol left in England today.

Bloody Yanks,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Joe Jonas
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    Is there a tablecloth or is this an open-air tug-job?

  2. Anna Chlumsky Cleavage
    Codot
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she borrowed the Borg Queen’s body for this shot.

  3. Michelle Hunziker Bikini Six Pack Abs
    YTBOY
    Commented on this photo:

    DAMN, This girl is a hottie!!

    • Laura

      Why are there new photos of Doutzen Kroes on this site everyday?

    • If you think this starving transexual is a “hottie”, just be honest with yourself and come out the closet already.

      • Biff

        You’re just jealous because you’re a 5 ton dike who’d never have a chance at this beautiful woman. Sucka.

      • If you think this shemale is beautiful you don’t want a chance with any woman.:) Stop kidding yourself and step out of that closet. Life’s too short.

      • Crispy Anus

        Muscle definition doesn’t make somebody a shemale. Stop picking up heifers at Wal-Mart. You might actually spring a natural boner.

      • Toned muscles by themselves don’t make a girl a shemale. What does are manly abs on a skeletal, shapeless body devoid of all curves. This is exactly why the homos around here like her in the first place.

      • tony is a fat ugly female

        Which one of your chins are you speaking now from, fugly whale? :)

    • Just saying

      You people saying she’s manly and anorexic are complete morons. 1. She’s not anorexic but fit, you don’t get abs like that being anorexic. It’s obvious she’s stays thin by working out. She’s not Kate Moss then. She’s right at the level of being perfectly fit and she will live longer than all you JEALOUS fat cows out there. lol 2. As for her abs being manly, umm, “manly”, have you loser/morons ever picked up a female fitness mag. She looks like one of them. She has ZERO PERCENT manly features. Men who have six packs have wider hips and etc. There abs do not look like hat. Her abs are hot tight feminine and I would blast my load all over them right after I diss you fat jealous chicks who are soooooo dumb. :)

      • That was waaay too long just to admit you’re attracted to shemales! Just saying.:)

        Her abs are manly, the rest of her is boyish. She looks like dogshit. You’re a queer in denial. Feel free to kill yourself.

      • Just Saying lol

        Wow, I guess that according to your logic most popular chicks are she-males. lol Just shut up before you put your foot in your mouth any further. On the contrary, I’ve dated top cheerleaders who have abs like hers.

        If you’re a man: You know, the popular chicks who didn’t give you the time of day and smirked at you for being a goof. lol If you’re a chick then you should discover a new invention: workouts and dieting. Wow, you fat chicks out there just are soooooo jealous. For all you guys who find this photo hot which is 100% of straight men, then check out these hot fitness babes
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHKnoOD4Kc8&list=UUZ8K4dO9tlMdFAG-dS9VO3g&index=8&feature=plcp

      • Shut up f@g:) You sound gay as hell:) Don’t try so hard dummy.

      • And I’m SURE your queer ass dated “top cheerleaders”:) Girls like that can’t get enough of guys who post on gossip sites on a Saturday night:)) Back in mommy’s basement skippy:)

      • YTBOY

        Tony its obvious, You’re a dick head!!!

      • Burt

        Explain why she has no muscle tone except for those “abs”. Nope, not working out. Liposuction, maybe?

  4. Katy Perry Cleavage Purple Hair The Tonight show
    mrsmass
    Commented on this photo:

    i didn’t know Fred Durst was such a huge Whitney fan.

  5. Serena Williams Drunk
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, thanks for the offer but I think I’d prefer to walk.

  6. Serena Williams Drunk
    FanGirl
    Commented on this photo:

    whoa her hands are bigger than my feet

  7. Vinny Guadagnino Frisbee Beach Jersey Shore
    Lemmiwinks
    Commented on this photo:

    The often attempted but rarely successful prostate catch.

  8. Katy Perry Cleavage Purple Hair The Tonight show
    Abby Normal
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty sure this is what Grant Wood was aiming for when he painted American Gothic.

  9. Emma Stone The Amazing Spider-Man Spanish Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ohh! That’s the biggest black microphone I’ve ever seen!”

  10. Snooki Trips Falls Down
    Abby Normal
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it just me or is she morphing into knocked-up mini Amy Winehouse?

  11. Snooki Trips Falls Down
    Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    as we all hope she falls & miscarries. Abort! Abort!!!

  12. Venus Williams Drunk Passed Out
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Chris Bosh too.

  13. Vinny Guadagnino Frisbee Beach Jersey Shore
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I was certain this was a Jonas brother too.

  14. Amber Rose Cleavage Fat Legs Miniskirt School Dance Set
    Sven Golly
    Commented on this photo:

    Put that cheerleader at the top of the pyramid and the carnage will be incredible.

  15. Emma Stone The Amazing Spider-Man Spanish Premiere
    Adam
    Commented on this photo:

    I imagine there are some very interesting Photo Shop opportunities here….

  16. Quincy Jones Scarf Full Plate Of Food
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    “These hors d’oeuvres gettin’ on my damn nerves.”

  17. Billie Faiers Bikini Hot Tub
    Hedgehog
    Commented on this photo:

    in the case of a water landing, airbags can be used as a flotation device

  18. Michelle Williams Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Aren’t her stripper tassels in the wrong place?

  19. Anna Faris Nipples Cleavage Baby Bump Tight Dress
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    The Star Trek maternity line probably will go out of business.

  20. Anna Chlumsky Cleavage
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Firestarter.

  21. Michelle Hunziker Bikini Six Pack Abs
    Pierce Bronzetan
    Commented on this photo:

    As a man, I am both humbled and totally turned on.

    • Anonymous

      Y R U humbled? She can stay hungry; I don’t give a damn.

      She can still suck my dick while I eat my sandwich and hers.

    • I can see the “humbled” part since this bitch looks more masculine than the average guy, but why the fuck would you be turned on by that unless you were a flaming queer in denial?

    • Burt

      As a man who works out regularly, I call BS. No muscle tone what-so-ever except for her stomach? Do skinny women get liposuction?

      • meowtrix

        Burt.. it looks to me like she’s in transition from lying down to sitting up. Her ab muscles are working and therefore flexed. I’m sure she has other muscles, they’re just not popping up because they’re not engaged.
        Also keep in mind… she no doubt has a personal trainer.

      • Burt

        Have you even looked at her arms and shoulders?

  22. Joe Jonas
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    “So, massages at Travolta’s house and then off to the WNBA game?”

  23. Michelle Hunziker Bikini Six Pack Abs
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    It would be like banging Thor.

    • It would be like banging Thor if he had anorexia.

      • Nina

        To be fair, she doesn’t look anorexic. She looks buff. I don’t get the attraction either though. I would expect a penis below those abs.

      • The only thing buff about her is the manly abs. The rest is all bones.

      • Mike Walker

        Toni thinks anyone below her weight of 225lbs is anorexic.

      • The problem with girls like this is not that they’re “under 225 lbs”. It’s that they have the bodies of malnourished transsexuals.

        But when you’re a closet queer it’s understandable why you’d tell yourself this grotesque creature is hot while anyone over 95 lbs is fat. That’s the only way you can pretend to be normal.

      • tony is a fat ugly female

        Tell your girlfriends from fat acceptance that they are all ugly mistakes of nature including yourself. With a little bit of luck, they’ll kill themselves and stop being an eyesore. :)

      • Face it kiddo…ALL women are eyesores for you and the pedo patrol.:) You’ve just learned to use “fat” as code to describe the ones who don’t look like your fantasy 8-year-old.

  24. Coco Nipples Cleavage Tight Shirt
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    Believe it or not those jeans were completely intact before she squeezed into them.

  25. Serena Williams Drunk
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    When the fire department realized the jaws of life were not available, they asked Serena to sit in the crushed back seat of the wrecked car and then stretch out.

  26. Anna Chlumsky Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Dana Plato has let herself go.

  27. Anna Faris Nipples Cleavage Baby Bump Tight Dress
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    Her body looks like Kermit the Frog.

  28. Joe Jonas
    Commented on this photo:

    “Aren’t you glad I used the condom? I saved some for ya!”

  29. Snooki Trips Falls Down
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Here we see the first of many dents put into that poor kid’s head.

  30. Anna Chlumsky Cleavage
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    Then I saw you
    with that lady!
    Paid for her dinner,
    that’s pretty shady!

  31. Anna Chlumsky Cleavage
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    No, you may not chain me to a cold metal table in your basement.

    Chain me up in the dining room or no deal.

  32. Michelle Williams Cleavage
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    It appears she’s made a mistake here.

  33. Joe Jonas
    Commented on this photo:

    You gotta be on a whole new level of in the closet gay when the male prostitute you hired is ashamed to be seen with you…

  34. Snooki Trips Falls Down
    Jimbo
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor thing… Even sober, “IT” can’t walk without stumbling.

  35. Michelle Hunziker Bikini Six Pack Abs
    oh yeah
    Commented on this photo:

    wow she looks amazing !

  36. Snooki Trips Falls Down
    Commented on this photo:

    “That was close. At least the baby broke my fall.”

  37. Michelle Hunziker Bikini Six Pack Abs
    Boo
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s Doutzen Kroes.

  38. Serena Williams Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone else expecting a giant kilbasa to become un-tucked?

  39. Joe Jonas
    Pierce Bronzetan
    Commented on this photo:

    “I didn’t order any raisins in this.”
    [Giggles] “Just eat it!”
    “Seriously, what is that? It looks like there’s a peanut melted onto it.”
    “Just eat it!”
    “And what the hell is that black thing? Some kind of weed?”
    “Just eat it.”
    “It kinda looks like… a pube?”
    “STOP STARING AT YOUR FOOD AND JUST EAT IT!!!!”

  40. Katy Perry Cleavage Purple Hair The Tonight show
    Commented on this photo:

    Thought it was Ditta in the thumbnail. No boobs, so I’ll move on.

  41. Gillian Anderson Cleavage
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did someone just suggest an X-Files reunion special?”

  42. Snooki Trips Falls Down
    Commented on this photo:

    About as upright as she ever will be.

  43. Ashlee Simpson Legs Minidress
    suck it
    Commented on this photo:

    One of the rare cases where plastic surgery was a complete success.

  44. Vinny Guadagnino Frisbee Beach Jersey Shore
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s practicing for when he has to serve his balls on a plate to Snookie..

  45. Claudia Romani Bikini Playing Soccer
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    GOOOOOOOO

  46. Claudia Romani Bikini Playing Soccer
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    OOOOOOOOOO

  47. Billie Faiers Bikini Hot Tub
    Commented on this photo:

    When you absolutely cannot wait for the bathroom line…

  48. Claudia Romani Bikini Playing Soccer
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    OOOOOOOOOOOO

  49. Emma Stone The Amazing Spider-Man Spanish Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Ironically, the invisible man is a raging voyeur.

  50. Snooki Trips Falls Down
    Misana
    Commented on this photo:

    Flat shoes needed.

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