The Crap We Missed – Friday 4.5.13

April 5th, 2013 // 406 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, which is surprisingly large for the end of the week, but since Gwyneth Paltrow is now besties with Kim Kardashian, consider everything you ever knew about anything completely wrong. Except for the awful stuff you’re going to say about the following people, that stuff is totally correct: Shauna Sand skateboarding in a neighborhood that has never before so desperately needed an alcoholic mailman, Michael Phelps, who didn’t actually sink that putt, but was totally stoked when he figured out how to turn his five iron into a bong, the sad, but inevitable anorexic muppeting of the only good Olsen sister, and Kevin Hart on his way to his night job as John Travolta‘s totally heterosexual female masseuse.

Enjoy your weekned, I know Josh Duhamel will be spending his at Chili’s,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Elizabeth Olsen Skinny Legs Chanel The Little Black Jacket Karl Lagerfeld Photography Exhibition Dinner Party
    Lemmiwinks
    Commented on this photo:

    Wasn’t she the sister who actually smiled occasionally? The twins have evidently drained her life-force. I suppose it was inevitable.

  2. George Lucas Queen Elizabeth British Film Industry Reception
    Commented on this photo:

    Must be awkward meeting one of your characters in real life…

  3. Gerard Depardieu Flicking Cigarette Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    the French Chris Christie. And that fuckstick has the nerve to come to our country and litter it with his smokes.

  4. Fergie Pergnant Cleavage Bikini Beach Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are some nice pregnancy tits.

  5. Cindy Crawford Rande Gerber Workout Clothes
    Artiste
    Commented on this photo:

    These two look so boring. In fact, just looking at them has made me so tired that I need to go take a nappy.

  6. Prince William Rejected By Little Girl
    JennywithaY
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve always thought that he looks like a guy that has bad breath. Just a feeling.

  7. Joel Grey Grabbing Crotch The Fifth Annual PFLAG National Straight For Equality Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    He obviously just saw the Fergie picture.

  8. June Shannon Huge Box Of Taffy
    Commented on this photo:

    Mama June seems to be investing all that TLC reality show money exactly the way we all expected her to.

  9. Tara Reid Drunk
    Matt Lauer
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that the guy she had to blow to get into the place? He can do better.

  10. Tara Reid Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    the moment his hand touched her arm, his life force rapidly drained, and 30 seconds later only his smoldering skeleton remained.

  11. Michael Phelps Crotch Bulge Golfing 12th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational
    Commented on this photo:

    As a celebration ritual, he’s pretending to bang one of Tiger’s whores… What a showoff..

  12. Kevin Hart Prosthetic Breasts
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes Mr. Cruise, I got your gift. I’m wearing it right now. 8:00?

  13. Bill Paxton Turtleneck Oblivion Premiere
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Sure, I’ll add one.
    “Why don’t you put her in charge?!”

  14. Gerard Depardieu Flicking Cigarette Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does he want a Hungarian to rescue him?

  15. Kenya Moore Butt See Through Shorts Side Boob Gone With The Wind Fabulous Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    I love how Triumph tore through them on Conan’s show.

  16. Vanessa Paradis Chanel The Little Black Jacket Karl Lagerfeld Photography Exhibition Dinner Party
    Commented on this photo:

    AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH

  17. Kenya Moore Butt See Through Shorts Side Boob Gone With The Wind Fabulous Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a man from this angle.

  18. June Shannon Huge Box Of Taffy
    JennywithaY
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bring me Solo and the Wookiee!”

  19. Prince William Rejected By Little Girl
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, now we know why Prince William officially decided not to wear a wedding ring.

  20. Heather Locklear Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    i swear if photo boy tagged that as a wax figure of Heather, I would believe it.

  21. Gerard Butler Stuck In The Rain
    Commented on this photo:

    Shouldn’t he be holding a boom box over his head?

  22. George Lucas Queen Elizabeth British Film Industry Reception
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, two of my 2013 Dead Pool in one place…come on out of control school bus, let’s make this happen!

  23. June Shannon Huge Box Of Taffy
    Commented on this photo:

    “I can only find it in the medium size!”

  24. Gerard Depardieu Flicking Cigarette Butt
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Funny comment about him looking like Val Kilmer

  25. Catherine Tyldesley Licking Lips 2013 Merabi Couture Spring Summer Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    TryingWayTooFuckingHard

  26. George Lucas Queen Elizabeth British Film Industry Reception
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ok, you both know the rules. No hitting below the belt, let’s have a clean fight. now let’s GET IT ON!! “

  27. Kelly Rowland Cleavage Courvoisiology Reception
    Commented on this photo:

    nice…um….necklace?

  28. Michael Bloomberg Snooki Superstars For Sandy Relief
    Commented on this photo:

    Those teeth make her look even weirder than before. That having been said, I still would. I know. I suck.

  29. George Lucas Queen Elizabeth British Film Industry Reception
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok, I’ve got one more:

    “Your majesy, why are you wearing black gloves?”

    “what gloves? Oh, I have diabetes”

  30. Vanessa Paradis Chanel The Little Black Jacket Karl Lagerfeld Photography Exhibition Dinner Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Vanessa, can you please stop spitting on us…

  31. Michael Phelps Crotch Bulge Golfing 12th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look at me, Elin!”

  32. June Shannon Huge Box Of Taffy
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘murica!

  33. Theresa Ortiz Cleavage No Bra Open Blouse Freddie Robinson
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, haven’t seen someone that dead inside since Mischa Barton…

  34. Michael Bloomberg Snooki Superstars For Sandy Relief
    Brought It
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy teeth, batman. Awful.

  35. Michael Bloomberg Snooki Superstars For Sandy Relief
    Commented on this photo:

    I know that look on Hizzoner’s face. It’s the one that says, “I’m going to kill the aide who set this up.”

  36. June Shannon Huge Box Of Taffy
    Minky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hell, after birthin’ that last young’un, my laffy taffy’s bigger’n this”

  37. Elizabeth Olsen Skinny Legs Chanel The Little Black Jacket Karl Lagerfeld Photography Exhibition Dinner Party
    Commented on this photo:

    The transformation into a full fledged Olsen has been completed. We can’t have them out there smiling and looking like they actually want to be there. They have a reputation to maintain.

  38. June Shannon Huge Box Of Taffy
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I really thought this was the woman from Mike and Molly. That’s usually the first sign you have to lose weight.

  39. Tom Cruise Blowing Nose Oblivion Premiere
    Minky Wail
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh my God, is that a vagina I smell?”

  40. Michael Bloomberg Snooki Superstars For Sandy Relief
    Commented on this photo:

    Snookie heard “sandy relief” and thought she’d finally found the answer to her vaginal dryness.

  41. George Lucas Queen Elizabeth British Film Industry Reception
    dabellator
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why doesn’t it have a chin?”
    “Sir, she wants to know why you don’t have a chin.”

  42. Elizabeth Olsen Skinny Legs Chanel The Little Black Jacket Karl Lagerfeld Photography Exhibition Dinner Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, you think she’d be a little happier about being “the good looking Olsen”..but then she is still “the broke Olsen”.

  43. Michael Phelps Crotch Bulge Golfing 12th Annual Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational
    Commented on this photo:

    Michael thought he’d won the tournament before it was explained to him that you have to play with regulation golf clubs, not a bridge stick from a pool table.

  44. June Shannon Huge Box Of Taffy
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Rose O’Donnell?

  45. George Lucas Queen Elizabeth British Film Industry Reception
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    At least his jacket answers the question of why there’s a suit material shortage in the world.

  46. Gerard Depardieu Flicking Cigarette Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    No way! THREE from my 2013 dead pool in this gallery.

    that’s gotta be a good sign, right? Seriously, he looks like he’s melting, it’s a sure thing.

  47. Sebastian Bach Yellow Teeth Minnie Gupta
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s nothing “mini” about those funbags.

  48. Ronnie Ortiz-Magro Porno Stache Sammi Giancola Cleavage Superstars For Sandy Relief
    Commented on this photo:

    More like Ronnie HAMM-Magro, amirite?

  49. Fergie Pergnant Cleavage Bikini Beach Cover
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a “poor man’s” Jessica Simpson… extra emphasis on both of those words.

  50. Shauna Sand Underboob Skateboard Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Those shoes are perfect for skateboarding. To the Freeway!

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