Welcome to the Friday edition of The Crap We Missed where we learn that the paparazzi will not only take pictures of anyone on TV, but also dead bodies someone forced to hold a puppy. I’d say I’m offended by this, but that’s less pics of Kirstie Alley and canned Teen Mom photo shoots. So basically they’re doing God’s work.
In the meantime, if I haven’t said it enough before, your comments on these posts are the favorite part of my day, so sincere thanks to everyone who goes to town on these. Also, yes, this is just my way of buttering you up because this set doesn’t have a midget in it. Not all of them reveal themselves for Reese’s Pieces. Believe me, I’ve tried.
Auf Wiedersehen,
- The Superficial
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Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Release the Kraken!
“Hey Kim! Show us your War Horse face!”
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a whinny, er, winner!
Somebody must have said “Frau Bleucher.”
This one is just too easy.
I know right?
We should at least have to work at this, I agree.
Yeah. I’m not even going to bother.
Hey Billy Ray! Buy a shirt that fits, retard!
Kesha?
Shouldn’t Sarah Jessica Parker be there?
I don’t care how many sequins you put on it, your fanny pack still makes you look like an idiot.
She does that every time she hears the word “carpet”.
I do think he is fat, But he always seemed fatter on the TV show
His B cups are trying to make a break for it……. and that’s the least uncomfortable thing about this picture.
MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!
It looks like you could push him and he’d roll around like a weeble.
He gets more pear-shaped every time I see a picture of him.
His appendages are being absorbed by his middle.
A soul patch and button busting man boobs? I guess instead of a simple farmer Zack Snyder is re-imagining Pa Kent as a middle aged yuppie douche bag.
He can’t even get the soul patch right, what the fuck is that thing? An inverted mustache?
I’m just distracted by the oh-so-carelessly-tousled pubic patch on top of his head, but it does look like someone glued a old toothbrush under his chin.
He probably thinks D&G means “donuts & gravy”.
Swing and a miss.
It’s DC, a popular skateboard shoe company.
haha, i just assumed DC comics. my bad.
Someone hasn’t gone swimming since the late 80′s – early 90′s.
More like “Lotsa Pot Lucks”. Amirite?
Don’t drink, don’t smoke… What the hell’d you do?
OK Johnny Depp we get it. You’re unique! So you can stop dressing like a flamboyant cowboy of questionable sexual orientation.
Pirates of the Caribbean V?
Pirates of the Caribbean LVII.
HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!
what a hot old lady.
It’s called “plastic surgery”.
If that’s the case, someone should pass her surgeon’s number on onto LiLo.
Heeeere, pussy, pussy, pussy!
What? Kevin Costner can’t afford to buy a shirt that fits? Seriously?!?
“If you do it inverted like this see…it feels like someone else is wanking it…..”
It takes a real man to rock a “Huggie Bear – Johnny Depp in Brett Michaels Do-Rag” look.
Nowadays I believe they’re called “douche-rags.”
Jim Belushi is looking pretty good
word. egyptian.
I’m a cowboy…on a steel horse I ride… WTF?
That Corey guy has a huge Front Butt…and Bieber is going to Hell for touching is wiener
I smell an Izod endorsement on the way…. and bacon.
More like they posed Bob Barker.
didn’t he used to be a dancer?
He used to be a dancer, but now he just sways and wheezes.
LMFAO… awesomely hilarious visual
She’s looks great for her age, until you catch a glimpse of her crypt-keeper hands, always gives it away.
it shocks me that hollywood hasn’t come up with a plastic surgery solution for hands! what good is all of the rest of it if all we have to do is look at the one part of their body that is always uncovered, to know their real age!
They do. They are injecting filler into hands to make them look younger: http://famousplastic.com/2011/04/06/cindy-jackson-officially-has-had-the-most-cosmetic-procedures/
Apparently Christy hasn’t had this procedure done. Yet. ;)
Because you would say no because of her hands. Riiiiight
fuck you hungarianprincess. just fuck you.
cannot unsee. . . *sobs*
Pirates of the Caribbean: Wrath of the Budget Cuts
LMAO
LMAO !!
All I can say is, thank god she’s wearing clothes!
This is what she should wear to the beach! Much more flattering!
Only one thing comes to mind. Ghostbusters.
I thought he knocked his girlfriend up, turns out she knocked him up.
hahaha
He’s just a victim of angles and weird shirts…….oh wait.
+1
HAHAHAHAHA +2
hahahaha! well played that man!
Socks and sandals?
Is Britney money enough to retire already?
As usual, Russell Brand answers questions by talking out his ass.
Says “stinky mcpoop”. ;)
+1
ha ha ha!!
“My queef? It sounds like this.”
He looks uniquely qualified to dispense medical device about mental health issues.
Johnny Depp just gets weirder by the day.
The bowling alley called; they still have your shoes.
“Oh! I think they’re dropping!”
What’s left out of this photo is that, seconds before it was taken the guy holding the dog took it off HIS neck.
This is the guy that was driving the cab? Oh, wait, that was John Mayer. I get confused, because both their music sucks.
Right……
I’m no Dave Matthews fanatic, but you’re fucking insane if you put his music in the same conversation as that douche bag Mayers.
And why is that? Sure, the music is vastly different as far as genre is concerned, but sucky music is sucky music.
HEY HEY HEY!!!
One is played by douchey college students in the 90s.
The other is played by douchey college students in the 00s.
So one is older.
SO different.
Hey Hey Hey!!!
You’re an idiot. Big difference between the two- wouldnt expect you to be able to ascertain that though, jackass
Mr Clinton, what are your plans for that cigar?
Robble robble?
That’s a great ironic eyebrow.
Two words looking at that outfit….
Stimulating conversation