The Crap We Missed – Friday 2.24.12

February 24th, 2012 // 580 Comments

“I don’t remember ordering flapjacks.” – Stephen Hawking, just now.

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which is basically everything considering our entire day fell into a Stephen Hawking sex addict hole that I’m proud to say it never crawled out of. On that note, enjoy today’s alternating Final Five that’s for both the ladies and the gents, yet somehow all for me because it’s not like I haven’t spoiled myself by pretending to be a pimp physicist with a robot voice on every goddamn post.

To professionalism!

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s as if her husband pulled them apart looking for a pot of gold… or a loose crumb…. who knows..

  2. Terrence Howard Mystery Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why yes, my white she-devil, we CAN go get some chicken…”

  3. Will Smith
    Commented on this photo:

    “OH heeeeeyyyyyyy Tom….”

  4. Will Smith
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sorry my kids can’t act or sing worth a damn! Get jiggy with it and all that though, y’all!”

  5. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    Brought It
    Commented on this photo:

    Stretch marks, ick.

  6. Kimora Lee Simmons Cleavage
    Jill
    Commented on this photo:

    I know this joke has been done to death, but seriously, how many black microphones does she see?

  7. Kimora Lee Simmons Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I think we found a contender to de-thrown Kim Kardashian at the annual “Hide the black Microphone Competion”

  8. Dina Lohan
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE OUT OF GIN!?

  9. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what’s wrong with America, right here. Her surgeon looked at this when he was done and said, “Meh. Good enough.”

  10. Simon Cowell Drunk Beer Bottle
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes Simon we get it. You do an awesome impression of a former co-worker.. Now let it go…

  11. Minnie Driver
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Allo, guv’na!”

  12. Simon Cowell Drunk Beer Bottle
    Jill
    Commented on this photo:

    What do you mean, open container law?

  13. Karissa Shannon Kristina Shannon
    Commented on this photo:

    I know it would result in a visit to a pharmacy and be more like throwing a hotdog down a hallway but I still would…

  14. Minnie Driver
    Commented on this photo:

    Why DID Matt Damon ever dump this fine specimen.. We shall never know..

  15. Stacy Keibler Butt Tight Dress
    Bob
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn you George Clooney!

  16. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    Her right breast is attending the 5th Annual Hollywood Domino Gala & Tournament in Los Angeles, the left breast is attending the 5th Annual Hollywood Domino Gala & Tournament in Hollywood, Florida.

  17. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Has someone has been digging in her chest looking for her heart of gold

  18. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    Jebus, what the fuck happened to her face.

  19. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Outfit from the new Jessica Simpson fashion line, “Muumuus for Moo-moos”. Thanx for being an easy target, pre- during- and inevitably post- pregnancy fatty!

  20. Kimora Lee Simmons Cleavage
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m assuming that arm is pointing out some kind of massive Sasquatch cock.

  21. Minka Kelly Butt Tight Jeans
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Meh.

  22. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    Ben
    Commented on this photo:

    add blue paint and she could be avatar?

  23. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    She is so fat she can’t completely open her eyes. The sensible dinner of a Red Bull put her over her daily quota of 300 calories.

  24. Dina Lohan
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look at that awful mother over there! She’s barely exploiting her children!”

  25. Michael K. Williams Bowtie
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    Pardon me, but what do you have in ties that say both highly sophisticated and not afraid to smack a bitch up?

  26. Michael K. Williams Bowtie
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    He is too good to put on his own pre-tied bow tie.

  27. Eva Longoria Cleavage
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    lol@girl behind longoria

  28. Angela Simmons Bikini
    DALESQ
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently, the surname Simmons gives girls a predisposition to an oral fixation.

  29. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    NOI
    Commented on this photo:

    They look very loose

  30. Kimora Lee Simmons Cleavage
    DALESQ
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently, the surname Simmons gives girls a predisposition to an oral fixation.

  31. Kimora Lee Simmons Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she is practicing for her audition. Damn it! There is going to be another damn reality show…

  32. Bar Refaeli Underwear Tennis Under Me
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Under Me’ . . . the undies must have Leo’s face printed on the inside.

  33. Stacy Keibler Butt Tight Dress
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    If I were Clooney, I’d be going around town calling my fingers “the Keibler elves”.

  34. Terrence Howard Mystery Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    “Can you believe the paparazzi these days, Cuba?”

  35. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “I have to hold down its foot like this or else it’ll kick’ them 48 barbecue wings right outta mah stomach!”

  36. Terrence Howard Mystery Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    Lando and Ally Sheedy hit the town.

  37. Nicole Richie Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s getting better with age, isn’t she? Or maybe it’s the distance from Paris. Either way, huzzah!

  38. Stacy Keibler Butt Tight Dress
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Enjoy your participation trophy, Elisabetta Canalis. George traded up.

  39. Stacy Keibler Butt Tight Dress
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Elisabetta Who?

  40. Kate Upton Cleavage Low Cut Shirt
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s some….umm….auuughhh side booooob….

  41. Michael K. Williams Bowtie
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey look, man, if I ain’t here, I’m round the way on Howard Street, Lydell’s. Either that, or I’ll be with Muffy at the club.” – Omar Little, The Wire, Season 1

  42. Mischa Barton
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, she’s all cleaned up and sane-looking now. Congrats on that Mischa, however now you are kind of boring. Go punch Lindsay Lohan in the face for us or something.

  43. Kimora Lee Simmons Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “Seriously. Next asshole to throw the Tila Tequilla blow up doll onstage is outta here.”

  44. Joustin Beaver Justin Bieber Lawsuit
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh I get it, because he likes to gnaw on wood…

  45. Kimora Lee Simmons Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    We brought life to a blow-up doll, but we can’t cure cancer…damn you modern society!!!

  46. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s amazing how big A-Cups look when you weigh only 30 pounds.

  47. Karissa Shannon Kristina Shannon
    Commented on this photo:

    “OK, which one of you is the slut?”

    “Hahahahaha!”

  48. Colin Farrell Moustache Pinstripe Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    Honoring the Irish in film…might as well honor them for their food while you’re at it.

    • Speaking as an American living in Ireland, I’m here to tell you that the food is absolutely fantastic. Similarly, Colin Farrell is delicious.

    • Fer fucksake, just how many ways can you cook a potato?

      • Anyway, like I was sayin’, potato is the fruit of the earth. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. They’s uh, potato-kabobs, potato creole, potato gumbo, potato pancakes. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. They’s sweet potato, potato gratin, duchess potato, twice-baked potato, potato soup, potato stew, potato salad, scalloped potato, mashed potato sandwich. That… that’s about it.

  49. LeAnn Rimes Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Jigsaw, is that you?

  50. Dina Lohan
    YoMamma
    Commented on this photo:

    Has her face always looked so smashed in? Wonky eye?

Leave A Comment