Welcome to a special Christmas Edition of The Crap We Missed. It took us a week to build and since Christmas is officially over, consider this your bonus stocking that we stuffed full of whores and douchebags, because we care. We tried including everyone this holiday season, so we left no erect nipple unturned, no awkward pose, or satisfied post-murder gaze cast aside. There’s even two Kim Kardashian shots because titties and “Oh shit, she likes doing what with the pee-pee now?” So unwrap Miley Cyrus delivering Daddy his present and have an intellectual debate about what delivered the death blow to Jesus’ b-day: Nicki Minaj‘s Cameltoe Extravaganza or filling a Santa suit with douche.
Oh yeah, we also found another gift behind the couch (Hint: It’s down there and it’s full of random bikinis),
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
“Look what some crazy white person left in the ocean! A blender!”
Looks like someone got her Christmas wish!
It was anal sex. Just in case that wasn’t clear.
FantASStic Voyage II: J-Lo Break!
de plástico
“Mother, he’s been drinking for 4 days straight now. I’m not sure what to even do with him”
“Keith……KEITH! You’re upsetting Nicole, Keith”
“whEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
“Serious, dawg? You followed us to a Clippers game?”
The rarely seen “Douche-asaurus” on the prowl for a new mate.
Where’s Shirley?
Usually the cowgirl is smarter than the cow.
Usually,the cowgirl is smaller than the cow.
Unless he adopts, I don’t think there’s going to be a Sam Jones IV.
Definitely a “liquor only” kind of night…
this makes me sad
Douchy Claus is coming to town…
I take back any negative stereotype I’ve ever had about black guys and water
“That undertow was simply dreeeeeeadful. You really think you’re ocean material?”
She squatted and opened her legs indoors. There were no survivors.
Excuse me, but you’ve got a bit of difficult brown on your chin.
“Chloe….sweetie, he’s French. He’s not turned on by that kind of thing.”
One of them has a bigger brain and better haircut, and the other one is Billy Ray Cyrus’s daughter.
Excuse me, but you’ve got a bit of difficult brown on your chin.
44 long.
I’ll just write my name in the snow here, next to my vehicle.
Which one…ehhhh, I don’t care.
Drop a quarter into the cup for the batshit craziest “Thank You” ever.
“Ah…I see you are intellectual as well, sir!”
Nicki’s proud of her hour-and-a-half-glass figure.
Worst Sleep Apnea remedy ever.
I dressed all by myself today!
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christma–What the F@#$?
♫ ♪ “It’s beginning to look a lot like Kwanzaa…” ♫ ♪
I…..I can’t believe I’m saying this, ….but I would hit it.
You’re gross. It’s gross. That’s gross.
Wow, that girl back in college really got you addicted to anal sex. I mean, wanting it from Nicki Minaj is like Ewan McGregor in Trainspotting diving into The Worst Toilet in Scotland just to get those heroin suppositories.
It’s true, it’s true….
“Okay, Keith. Come on. It’s time to give some other boys a turn on the jungle gym.”
I think that heckler has a point. I really *do* suck.
Which one is she?
“…*gasp* *gasp*…Al Campanis…*gasp* *gasp*…was right…”
(Why do I think that only 5 of you are going to get this joke.)
Google and Wikipedia never forget imbecilic comments about the buoyancy of African-Americans.
Yeah, but if you have to look it up to “get” the joke, you’re not really “getting” it.
Oh shit, I left my dignity back in the 90′s.
“If this is Barbados, where’s the never ending Rihanna ass party?”
Try to guess which one is just watching the pretty colors.
I guess she just got a look at this photo, too.
Pretty sure this relationship is going to end in a stabbing.
There will be teeth on the floor at the very least…followed by a swarm of lawyers.
Mariah Carey in Asspen? Too easy.
“I got your inner tube, right here”
Kashyyyk native, Lilith, Plastic Man and a hot black girl. All is not lost with this pic.
Inspired casting for Lifetime channel’s “The Untold Kate Upton Story: Boxed In.”
Oh, Albert Nobbs. If you only knew how your life would turn out, you never would have left service.
Thanks, TomFrank – that’s exactly who he looks like!
Jill Martin? I think you got the names backwards.
Wow, a tight body AND jewish! This one’s a keeper!
“Chris Brown broke another one! Deploying next Rihanna-bot!”
Is he taking a plane to the 80′s?
“An Alanis by any other name would look as terrifying.” – Shakespeare
Love your username!
At this point, he just hates his dog pound.