The Crap We Missed – Friday 11.16.12

November 16th, 2012 // 604 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed that could actually serve as a helpful Hollywood-How-To Guide, which is in no way a mildly clever conceit to couch these wild assumptions about what’s really going on in these photos:

1. How to get Jared Leto to agree to a role for no salary.
2. How to effectively utilize Kaley Cuoco to secure a Jon Hamm cameo for The Big Bang Theory.
3. How to reboot the front row experience of a Gallagher show, except instead of showering them with fruit chunks, you murder them.
4. How to bring down a passenger jet with nothing but a case of rum and butt sex.
5. How to make a game show out of revealing the number of revenge blow jobs Robert Pattinson got from Taylor Lautner. Yesterday.

How to make you all think Rita Rusic is your Final Five, then toss you a curveball that will still bang you if you hit its face until it bleeds — I AM MAKE INTERNETS GO!!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Lady Gaga Underwear Humping Cake Twitter
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Worst Marilyn Monroe imitation EVER.

  2. Jared Leto Dressed In Drag The Dallas Buyers Club
    mcdoubler
    Commented on this photo:

    Shouldn’t that say CAUGHT on the set of the dallas buyers club?

  3. Justin Theroux Jennifer Aniston Cleavage American Cinematheque 26th Annual Award Presentation To Ben Stiller
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Him: I’m so happy to be here!

    Her: Oh God. He’s so happy to be here.

  4. Lady Gaga Underwear Humping Cake Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Already wanted to tongue her butt crack. Now there’s frosting in it too. Jackpot!

  5. Mike Tyson Day Of The Champions Speaking Tour
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Mike Tyson Speaking Tour and other Great Moments of words strung together than cannot possibly be true, tomorrow at 11.

  6. Lady Gaga Underwear Humping Cake Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    nice wig, shithead

  7. Rihanna Cockpit Flight 777
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, these “backstage” porn pictures are always cool to look at.

  8. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugh. She must have drunk the water.

  9. Daniel Craig Skyfall Australia Premiere
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    “Damn, that phone is fast.”

  10. Lady Gaga Underwear Humping Cake Twitter
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hit it

  11. Justin Theroux Jennifer Aniston Cleavage American Cinematheque 26th Annual Award Presentation To Ben Stiller
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks so smug now that she has her LoveBot3000 all programmed up just right.

  12. Lady Gaga Underwear Humping Cake Twitter
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    The cake is a lie.

  13. Jonathan Rhys Meyers Belle Du Seigneur
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why yes, I do know Jeremy Renner.”

  14. Lady Gaga Underwear Humping Cake Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    How avant-garde and literal of her to imitate her singing as rolling around in her own shit…

  15. Justin Theroux Jennifer Aniston Cleavage American Cinematheque 26th Annual Award Presentation To Ben Stiller
    Commented on this photo:

    What he’s feeling is the gravitational pull of a planet on some asteroids. The asteroids are his sperm, and the planet is her cooch.

  16. Lady Gaga Underwear Humping Cake Twitter
    hbrandywinne@yahoo.com
    Commented on this photo:

    No one cares about the stars

  17. Mike Tyson Day Of The Champions Speaking Tour
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mike, Mike! What’s the tipping point in terms of going with either a Roth IRA or 401k if you’re self-employed and 50% of your income bracket is a write-off ?!”

  18. Lady Gaga Underwear Humping Cake Twitter
    hbrandywinne@yahoo.com
    Commented on this photo:

    lady gaga gone……want to be singer

  19. Daniel Craig Skyfall Australia Premiere
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    That man looks like he keeps kids locked in his basement.

  20. Justin Theroux Jennifer Aniston Cleavage American Cinematheque 26th Annual Award Presentation To Ben Stiller
    Jack London's sober moment
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet he doesn’t even get to see her naked. She just sends him 30 second trailers that promise nudity and sex.

    • ferfr

      she’s posing like that to stretch out her neck so you can’t see how saggy and wrinkly it is. that’s the thing about women. you can always tell their age by their necks, hands and knees. the saggiest parts of the body. she ain’t fooling a soul.

  21. Rihanna Cockpit Flight 777
    Commented on this photo:

    Gangsta airlines
    Bringing you the depravity of the hip hip culture, one orgy at a time…

  22. Dita Von Teese Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the most regular she’s ever looked. I approve.

  23. Daryl Hannah Gut Aiderbichl Christmas Market Opening
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the most realistic wax statue yet,

  24. Daniel Craig Skyfall Australia Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ya, Daniel… And dis is the mural I have of you in my house…”

  25. Lady Gaga Underwear Humping Cake Twitter
    Sparky
    Commented on this photo:

    pitiful puppet

  26. Mike Tyson Day Of The Champions Speaking Tour
    Jack London's sober moment
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope there are subtitles, because when he speaks it’s like trying to figure out what the hell “Yellow Ledbetter” is about. I’d love to see him subtitled in some elegant romance language like Italian or French.

  27. Prince Charles Dancing Dance-O-Mat
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my. Put my left foot in *and* shake it all about? Oh my.

  28. Mike Tyson Day Of The Champions Speaking Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    “Da guy thaid he couldn’t heow da bell, tho i juthed made it eathiah for da guy ta heow!”

  29. Bill Clinton Kevin Spacey
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    See the Observer over Spacey’s shoulder? Uh oh.

  30. Roger Moore Christina Tholstrup Gut Aiderbichl Christmas Market Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    Photobomb: Sarah Jessica Parker Bowles

  31. Bill Clinton Kevin Spacey
    Commented on this photo:

    That dude without the eyebrows is freaking me out…

  32. Mike Tyson Day Of The Champions Speaking Tour
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wuthup, Authralia? I will rape yo ear-th wif my wordth!”

  33. Rihanna Cockpit Flight 777
    Jack London's sober moment
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t she always in a cockpit of some sort?

  34. Lady Gaga Underwear Humping Cake Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, I was just about to fap until I read who it was.

  35. Dita Von Teese Cleavage
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a lot more attractive when she’s geared up.

  36. Rihanna Cockpit Flight 777
    Commented on this photo:

    Cunt in a cock. That’s new.

  37. Prince Charles Dancing Dance-O-Mat
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Now Peter Piper picked peppers but Run rocked rhymes
    Humpty Dumpty fell down that’s his hard time
    Jack B. Nimble what nimble and he was quick
    But Jam Master cut faster Jack’s on Jay’s dick
    Now Little Bo Peep cold lost her sheep
    And Rip van Winkle fell the hell asleep
    And Alice chilling somewhere in Wonderland
    Jack’s serving Jill a bucket in his hand
    And Jam Master Jay’s making out our sound
    The turntables might wobble but they don’t fall down

  38. Dita Von Teese Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    It just dawned on me that she looks a lot like Rumer Willis, without the Jay Leno jaw I mean…

  39. Daniel Craig Skyfall Australia Premiere
    Jack London's sober moment
    Commented on this photo:

    my cock does look good there mate, post it on twitter.

  40. Roger Moore Christina Tholstrup Gut Aiderbichl Christmas Market Opening
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, Sarah Jessica Parker gets to hang out with 007 in Austria? Cool life.

  41. Rihanna Cockpit Flight 777
    1NDUN
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice job, Fat Regis. You screwed up the “777″.

  42. Jared Leto Dressed In Drag The Dallas Buyers Club
    Commented on this photo:

    Good to see Steven Tyler getting his shit together.

  43. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart Taylor Lautner El Hormiguero
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Kristin has the look of someone who’s just been orally pleasured by a bucktoothed puppet.

  44. Rihanna Cockpit Flight 777
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re all pointing at Rihanna’s self esteem.

  45. Tyra Banks Crazy Eyes Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Uhmmm Tyra… The wig isn’t nailed down completely. Or did they not teach you that in Harvard?

  46. Tyra Banks Crazy Eyes Tight Dress
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Spanxx with a bandage dress topper.

  47. Daryl Hannah Gut Aiderbichl Christmas Market Opening
    Jack London's sober moment
    Commented on this photo:

    nothing like a good livestock show for the holidays. please, be reminded that if you’re seated in the first few rows there may be some splashing.

  48. Lady Gaga Underwear Humping Cake Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll shoot my frosting all over her face.

  49. Justin Theroux Jennifer Aniston Cleavage American Cinematheque 26th Annual Award Presentation To Ben Stiller
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d still rail her. WTF was Brad Pitt thinking?

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