The Crap We Missed – Friday 1.20.12

January 20th, 2012 // 318 Comments

Wait. How does the dog even know who she is to get it up?

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Peter Sarsgaard taking on a role that clearly should have gone to Michael Fassbender, a mortified Aaron Carter realizing his DJ equipment didn’t come with a big black microphone and Serena Williams on the court with Judo, Judo, motherfucking Judo!

- Rita Rusic didn’t pay us enough today for a Final Five,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Serena Williams Sports Bra Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m guessing that return broke the sound barrier.

  2. Jude Law Guy Richie
    Commented on this photo:

    Aren’t they just a pair of dandy wankers.

  3. Peter Sarsgaard Lovelace
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice camel toe.

  4. Tobey Maguire Skipping
    Commented on this photo:

    Power Derping.

  5. Donald Sutherland
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does he always look like he’s auditioning for the role of Thor’s grandfather?

  6. Henry Cavill
    Commented on this photo:

    “Need anything lifted because i can totally lift stuff.”

  7. Goldie Hawn Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    Downwind of this must smell like the inside of an old dresser.

  8. Amanda Seyfried Lovelace
    EmmaWatson's Vagina
    Commented on this photo:

    wow she looks way hotter than the orginial one

  9. Ewan McGregor Scarf Sunglasses
    Commented on this photo:

    Wrote the handbook on how to dress like a complete hipster assbag.

  10. Serena Williams Sports Bra Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a man?

  11. Leilani Dowding Cleavage
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    If you marry me, you won’t have to worry at all about me stabbing you in the middle of the night…nope…not at all.

  12. Phoebe Price Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay, take a long hard look. This is you in 2 years…

    • CranAppleSnapple

      No way! Phoebe bathes and wears undergarments and is committed to a rigorous schedule of random posing on Robertson, come rain or shine. That’s a level of professionalism that Lindsay could never achieve.

    • BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

      Could this day possibly get any better thought the dog and then the woman beside them took out a pound of sausages on her lap

  13. Russell Brand Long Purple Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    Purple Rainman.

    • squishy

      WTF?!

      • OK, yeah. It was supposed to be a reference to Purple Rain and Rainman, since it’s a purple scarf and Rainman was kind of weird.

        Big fail. I sensed it after I posted it.

        How about this:

        Russell Brand’s new job – mike stand for Steven Tyler.

  14. Tobey Maguire Skipping
    Commented on this photo:

    Flannel is for lesbians. Good choice.

  15. Donald Sutherland
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    And I want a toy train, and a matchbox car set, and a Millenium Falcon lego set…

  16. David Beckham
    Commented on this photo:

    Bringing soccer to the hundreds of people in America who can stay awake for 90 minutes of soccer.

  17. Jude Law Guy Richie
    Commented on this photo:

    JA JA JA JA. Funny joke, Guy. Small penis. That’s hilarious… Be cause he has a small penis. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

  18. Jude Law Guy Richie
    Commented on this photo:

    There is no hair club for British men.

  19. Phoebe Price Cleavage
    MrChips
    Commented on this photo:

    A pekingese holding a yorkie. Ha!

  20. Henry Cavill
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Poncherelli from CHiPS.

  21. JoJo
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    You know, just waiting around and hoping isn’t going to make “Breakin’ 3″ happen.

  22. Amanda Seyfried Lovelace
    Commented on this photo:

    Also a lover of velvet.

  23. Tobey Maguire Skipping
    Commented on this photo:

    Ever since that mean little girl stole his scooter, he’s had to hope around town… Poor guy…

  24. Serena Williams Sports Bra Shorts
    JungleRed
    Commented on this photo:

    In all fairness, that fly had it coming.

  25. Amanda Seyfried Lovelace
    Commented on this photo:

    Those gag reflex exercises are really going to pay off.

    • cc

      That raises an interesting point about pornstars. Do they acquire the ability to suppress their gag reflex, or do they somehow not have one? Inquiring minds want to know. Speaking of which, have you ever seen Heather Brooke in action?

  26. Leilani Dowding Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Those homemade contact lenses just never work out as well as you think they would.

  27. Leilani Dowding Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “I get to play Octomom in a made-for-TV movie! Woohoo!”

  28. Goldie Hawn Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, it’s like she became her character in “Death becomes her”…

  29. Goldie Hawn Tank Top
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I can still do romantic comedies…no, the liver spots go right away with a little makeup.

  30. Tobey Maguire Skipping
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s ditched the scooter and opted for the invisible horse instead.

  31. Donald Sutherland
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, I’m NOT a gay wizard, you fuck.”

  32. Jared Leto Trenchcoat Fedora
    Commented on this photo:

    If Boardwalk Empire is looking for somebody to shoot in the face, here’s your man.

  33. Russell Brand Long Purple Scarf
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I won’t make fun of this. I get no pleasure from shooting an animal that clearly wants to be shot.

  34. Donald Sutherland
    JungleRed
    Commented on this photo:

    You should just kill yourself now, Kiefer.

  35. JoJo
    Commented on this photo:

    The earlier you get to Home Depot, the better your chances of finding work.

  36. Phoebe Price Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    The lost Judd sister.

  37. David Beckham
    Commented on this photo:

    Beck never buttons the bottom button in case an emergency itch arises….

  38. Aaron Carter Shirtless DJ
    Commented on this photo:

    Something tells me he doesn’t hate all the penis he sees on Chat Roulette.

  39. David Beckham
    DiegoAD
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, Ricky Gervais keeps shedding those pounds!

  40. Tobey Maguire Skipping
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wolverine….come back with my scooter!!!!”

  41. Henry Cavill
    Commented on this photo:

    “Now watch me while I go punch this kid.”

  42. JoJo
    Commented on this photo:

    Totally fingering herself.

  43. Jared Leto Trenchcoat Fedora
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Some fast-talking dame was givin’ me the lip and the runaround, so finally I says to her “Look, missy, I’m on an investigation with the clock ticking here. Now, do you know where my career is or not?”

  44. Goldie Hawn Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    You might want to go back and get a refund on that naugahyde tuneup, Ms. Hawn.

  45. Aaron Carter Shirtless DJ
    Commented on this photo:

    So this is what Madonna looks like naked?

  46. Ewan McGregor Scarf Sunglasses
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he’s only got Dinklage by a couple of inches. Giggity.

  47. Russell Brand Long Purple Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    The sign behind him that says “LIC KING” says it all.

  48. Russell Brand Long Purple Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Fleetwood Mac getting back together?

  49. Serena Williams Sports Bra Shorts
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks large & dangerous….and she has a racquet.

  50. Jude Law Guy Richie
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Fabulous UK accents cannot make up for those faces.

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