The Crap We Missed – Friday 1.18.13

January 18th, 2013 // 319 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed that almost didn’t happen because I just found out that Fish has secretly been my online girlfriend for years. I mean, I get that it’s hilarious to make me think someone wouldn’t be physically repulsed enough by me to maintain a relationship, by why request all those pictures of my peni– Oh, sonofabitch. While I go hug myself crouched on the shower floor, check out Kat Von D looking elegant as always, Russell Brand lining up some weekend companionship and yes, I mean gay bum sex, and finally, 50 Cent just now finding out that his internet girlfriend was this guy the whole time.

“C’mon, two Manti Te’o references? Maybe he got his heartbroken, and plus, FOOTBALL!” – You guys
“Cancer. He lied about his make-believe girlfriend dying of cancer.” – Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Bradley Cooper Silver Linings Playbook Premiere Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    “‘E iz, how you say… Bag of douche?”

  2. Michael Shannon Facial Burn Prosthetics Terry Richardson
    Yea
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy has done a great job transforming from a serial killer to an actor. Kudos to you, sir!

  3. Bradley Cooper Silver Linings Playbook Premiere Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why yes, I AM a smoker…how did you know?”

  4. Renee Zellweger Berlin Fashion Week
    Dave Chappelle
    Commented on this photo:

    “What the hell is a Renee Zell Wedger?”

  5. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    What a fucking douche.

  6. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    All he needs is a bagpipe and he could be auditioning for the post-modern version of Braveheart.

  7. Russell Brand Joking Around With Homeless Guys
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    The retard still thinks he’s funny. NOT.

  8. Amber Rose Pregnant Belly Polka Dots Wiz Khalifa
    HELLO
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s nice of the Superficial to take pictures of random hobos. Way to expand your horizons!

  9. Russell Brand Joking Around With Homeless Guys
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    “Show me a tygah. Yeah, baby!”

  10. Michael Shannon Facial Burn Prosthetics Terry Richardson
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone tell Mr. Bond that Jaws made it back from the moon.

  11. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Legs Spandex Minidress Flight Premiere
    HELLO
    Commented on this photo:

    Why yes…I do believe this pleases me.

  12. Bradley Cooper Silver Linings Playbook Premiere Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    “Brothers and sisters, I have been healed. I used to look like Russell Brand. But now I look like this through the power of JEEBUS!”

  13. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s clearly going to fashion week to get some advice.

  14. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Legs Spandex Minidress Flight Premiere
    HELLO
    Commented on this photo:

    No teeth huh? That works for me.

  15. Russell Brand Joking Around With Homeless Guys
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell do hobo’s need surveying equipment for?

  16. Jay-Z High Tops
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    “Chow, chow, chow, mothafucka.”

  17. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally–arrested by the fashion police.

  18. Salma Hayek Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m almost embarrassed to say that this may be the first time I’ve ever noticed her rather shapely butt.

  19. Salma Hayek Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Well at least we know she’s properly balanced…

  20. Bradley Cooper Silver Linings Playbook Premiere Paris
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “And now I’d like to sing Taylor Swift’s song “Fifteen,” because that’s how many microseconds I waited before shooting down her request for a date. Its also how many times I’ve slept with One Direction. Love you, Taytay!”

  21. Michael Shannon Facial Burn Prosthetics Terry Richardson
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d love to see Terry Richardson’s resume:
    - Coked out whores
    - Psycopaths

  22. Uma Thurman National Audubon Society Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yes, yes, as long as you don’t make any sudden or erratic moves, you MAY approach and touch the hem of my garment.”

  23. David Spade Hitting On Young Chick
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    The woman declined the following offers:

    1. Have sex with me?
    2. Have sex with me for $50?
    3. Have sex with me for $65?
    4. Let me touch you?
    5. Let me pet your dog?
    6. Wanna hear a new O.J. Simpson joke?
    7. Can I give you an autograph?

  24. Michael Shannon Facial Burn Prosthetics Terry Richardson
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    (pull line out of winch)
    “oh…that’s, that’s nice”

  25. David Spade Hitting On Young Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    How he scores hot chicks is beyond me… He must be a real living tripod…

  26. Michael Shannon Facial Burn Prosthetics Terry Richardson
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Explains a lot, like how Richardson managed to make Lindsay Lohan actually look good in his pictures.

  27. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    When is someone going to put this fucker in his place?
    I’m talking to you, Busta Rhymes !

  28. David Spade Hitting On Young Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah hon. We’re all that bored with his act too.

  29. Ellen Pompeo Chris Ivory Lakers Game
    HELLO
    Commented on this photo:

    The Lakers season in one image.

  30. Rose McGowan Nipple No Bra Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    McGowan Journal: Day 1,031:
    Different hair, still no emotion…

  31. Jeremy Renner Sunglasses
    HELLO
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, good troll face!

  32. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he showed up for Fashion Weak.

  33. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Legs Spandex Minidress Flight Premiere
    emersombiggins
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow.

  34. Jeremy Renner Sunglasses
    Commented on this photo:

    Many a male masseuse have seen this view…

  35. David Spade Hitting On Young Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    “hey, I’m David Spade. See those paparazzi? They’re following me. Want to have sex?”

  36. 50 Cent 106 &Park
    Commented on this photo:

    50?!?!? How does it feel to look like Chris Brown dressed you?

  37. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m on my way to a wedding. Why, am I over-dressed?”

  38. Jay-Z High Tops
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    For fuck’s sake, man, you are 43 years old! Put you hat on right, start wearing some big-boy shoes, and send the gold chain back to 1987.

  39. Selma Blair Nipple No Bra Carrying Son
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, How’d you like to ask that kid for the credit card…

  40. Russell Brand Joking Around With Homeless Guys
    Commented on this photo:

    “Kunta-Kinte-Brand, I have FOUND you…”

  41. Amber Rose Pregnant Belly Polka Dots Wiz Khalifa
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    For a second, I thought this was a scene from Ghostbusters.

  42. Amber Rose Pregnant Belly Polka Dots Wiz Khalifa
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this the season premiere of “Parking Wars”?

  43. Kelly Reilly Cleavage Flight Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    This lady is hot…especially when she’s topless!

  44. Kanye West Fur Vest Plaid Shirt Tied Around Waist Fashion Week
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    His mom’s going to be mad when she finds out he took the toilet surround mat.

  45. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    If we could just get someone to propose to her with a camera in the room…

  46. Bradley Cooper Silver Linings Playbook Premiere Paris
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    You love me! You really love me!… Wait, this isn’t an Oscar…

  47. Sarah Jessica Parker
    Commented on this photo:

    Do horses get furballs?

  48. Kourtney Kardashian Cleavage Mason Disick
    Employee
    Commented on this photo:

    that disguise kit is missing the fake nose and mustache

  49. Michael Shannon Facial Burn Prosthetics Terry Richardson
    Commented on this photo:

    If he was any kind of proper psychopath, he’d be eating that.

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