The Crap We Missed – Monday 3.21.11

March 21st, 2011 // 404 Comments

Welcome to today’s installment of The Crap We Missed and by now you guys know the drill, so let’s dive right in: A mother let The Situation hold her infant because apparently SIDS was taking too long, Ke$ha stopped wearing a bikini, Zach Galifianakis forgot the gold chains and Nicki Minaj truly is the Black Lady Gaga, complete with matching penis.

Pitying fools,

- The Superficial

Click Here to Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Commented on this photo:

    Is the the movie poster for the remake of “Mask” with Cher?

  2. rican

    Just you watch, if I leave the baby here long enough milk will come out of my nipple.

  3. The Situation
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he’s trying to breast-feed it some steroids.

  4. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Commented on this photo:

    KILL IT WITH FIRE!

  5. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    James Carville with collagen and a weave?

  6. Brad Pitt Angleina Jolie
    Knippy
    Commented on this photo:

    One is missing…

  7. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Snooki, look what fell out while you was dancin’!”

  8. Dita Von Teese
    Star Droppings
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sure she told the photographer she was leaving the “pilates studio” to be trendy, she’s obviously coming straight from a tanning salon.

  9. Brad Pitt Angleina Jolie
    Lena
    Commented on this photo:

    Shiloh got replaced by the other white ones…

  10. Nicki Minaj Dildo
    Knippy
    Commented on this photo:

    The real question is, why is her penis white?

  11. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    duder
    Commented on this photo:

    Joan Rivers looks into her future…

  12. Snooki
    Commented on this photo:

    Idle Speed
    No Wake
    Manatee Zone

  13. Snooki
    Star Droppings
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a regular bathing suit with entendors, like they have for airplane seatbelts?

  14. Snooki
    Commented on this photo:

    They clearly didn’t put enough lead weight on her to drown her!

  15. Brad Pitt Angleina Jolie
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, Brad looks less like an old, grody hipster douche, and more like a regular hipster douche. Except I still somehow wanna hit it.

  16. Kate Gosselin
    kate
    Commented on this photo:

    For someone who hates “the P People” she looks damned glad to see them.

  17. Snooki
    Star Droppings
    Commented on this photo:

    Extendors. Fail.

  18. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That is very sad & disturbing.

  19. Kendra Wilkinson
    DKNY
    Commented on this photo:

    “I miss Hef’s golden showers…”

    • Mica Hosef

      Its raining tootsie roll trolls!

    • Like a G6

      She is one of those people that could be just stepping out of a shower and she still looks dirty and smelly. This chick has the absolute worst taste in casual wear. Walmart much?

  20. Snooki
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s used to having a snorkel in– no. Too easy.

  21. Nicki Minaj Dildo
    Commented on this photo:

    Actually, the real question is when did Elvira grow a penis?

  22. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like somebody stopped at a Halloween mask clearance sale on the way to dinner….

  23. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks ok for being the first full facial transplant for a burn victim.

  24. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    Jenna Jamison! You get me!

  25. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    Does your face hurt? It’s killin’ me! Rimshot!

  26. Brad Pitt Angleina Jolie
    Commented on this photo:

    why does the one in the stripes have the ” who the fuck are these people?” look…

  27. Eva Longoria Mario Lopez
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s the chick on the left? She looks a lot like Nasim Pedrad from SNL.

  28. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Commented on this photo:

    On the bright side, at least Ke$ha put a dress on.

  29. Zach Galifianakis
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    Merkin: You’re doing it wrong.

  30. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    Renee Zelwegger two days after a date with Chris Brown.

  31. Sandra Bullock Louis Bullock
    Commented on this photo:

    That is absolutely the most adorable way I have ever seen someone keep herself relevant.

  32. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Dezzie Does Dallas
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know if she had surgery or if shes dating Chris Brown

  33. Kate Gosselin
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s fine if we miss this every week…

  34. Snooki
    Commented on this photo:

    Why the snorkel, can’t she just use her blowhole?

  35. Brad Pitt Angleina Jolie
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the wayyyyyyyyyy they became the Shady Bunch!

  36. Amy Winehouse
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    Charlie Sheen’s sister is just as fucked up as he is.

    • Mica Hosef

      ooooh oohhh aaaah aaahhhh ooooh oohhh aaaah aaahhhh (scratches asshole with index finger, smells it) ooooh oohhh aaaah aaahhhh ooooh oohhh aaaah aaahhhh

    • Like a G6

      FUCK YOU! She’s amazing, talented, the best singer around, best music, and all entertainers are on dope. She actually looks good w/out makeup. In summary, FUCK YOU, SHE’S THE BOMB!

  37. Nicki Minaj Dildo
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    this reminds me of the SNL sketch with her as the Bride of Blackenstein. Jesse Eisenberg fucked up BIG TIME.

  38. Eva Longoria Mario Lopez
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t think you will find the phrase “swarthy threesome” in Websters. But if so, we just found the pic.

  39. Kate Gosselin
    Commented on this photo:

    You know what would make that dress look even better? If Kate Gosselin got hit by a truck in it.

  40. Snooki
    Commented on this photo:

    So… we’re trying to plug up that oil leak once and for all?

  41. Kate Gosselin
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m ashamed to admit I want to put on my spelunking gear at rappel into her vagina.

  42. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Commented on this photo:

    i would suck on Joan Rivers asshole just to get this image out of my head…

  43. The Situation
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    Man-teeting – because naturally produced douchiness is better for future guidos and guidettes than formula douchiness.

  44. Brad Pitt Angleina Jolie
    All that is rough in the world
    Commented on this photo:

    Has the United Color of Benetton seen this? I think they got an iron clad lawsuit here…

  45. Nicki Minaj Dildo
    hmna
    Commented on this photo:

    Um, this didn’t get a pink star for NSFW? Just saying.

  46. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Fletch
    Commented on this photo:

    uh….

  47. Christy

    Wow, way to joke about SIDS asshat.

    • crazypants

      That SIDS joke is actually pretty damn funny.

      A funny joke can be made about any subject. If you’re the type to believe that jokes should only be constructed around nice or safe subjects, then you’re a prig.

      • Christy

        Yeah, it’s funny until your child dies from it.

      • It was funny, and it’s called black humor for a reason. You remind me of the guy who heckled Joan Rivers after she cracked a joke about deaf people – “It’s not funny if your child is deaf!” To which she responded “Fuck off, my mother was deaf (true) and humor is one of the ways we cope with the tough shit in life.” She felt sorry for the guy because he was obviously angry about his child being deaf, but he personalized a joke that wasn’t meant personally. So really, look at the context here – it’s fucking funny. If you lost a child and it hits too close to home, that really is your personal issue and probably means you’re far too sensitive a snowflake to be reading this site at all. Dead baby jokes lurk everywhere but like most sick humor it’s not meant personally, so better stay under the bed until you can deal with it.

    • Christy

      That’s really sad when it’s considered being sensitive to get pissed about dead baby jokes. When you throw that excuse out there, it usually means:
      a.) You’e a dick
      b.) You’re an asshat
      c.) You’re a douchenozzle
      d.) All of the above

      P.S. It really wasn’t funny, dead baby joke or not, just like 95% of the crap posted here isn’t anymore.

    • EVERYTHING ON THIS FUCKING PLANET could be offensive to someone who has had a personal encounter with it IRL. Should he refrain from mentioning cars because your brother died in a hit and run? Or flying because your grandfather was in a plane crash? Or chocolate because your dog ate some and died? Or bleach because your child got into some and poisoned themselves?

      I am guessing you object to any jokes made about any disease, mental illness, drug, handicap, physical difference, religion, race, sex, orientation, allergy, crime, school grade, tattoo, or type of cereal.

      You’re on the wrong website. Feel free to leave it.

  48. Zach Galifianakis
    Fletch
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate that turdball. That’s a good look for him though

  49. Sandra Bullock Louis Bullock
    Fletch
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh happy happy joy joy. It’s Sandra with her relevancy card, I mean child.

    • Mica Hosef

      “Never you mind, boy, never you mind. Let’s get on back to home. I gots enough trouble teaching you the difference between manure and mashed potatoes.”

  50. Brad Pitt Angleina Jolie
    Fletch
    Commented on this photo:

    We all know that there are skeletons in Angelina’s closet but I think this just shows how many skeletons are there. She’s so trying to get the good girl thing across and it will work for the yung-uns. But us old farts know what kinda of chick she is and it ain’t good.

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