The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 4.20.11

April 20th, 2011 // 336 Comments

Welcome to the midweek The Crap We Missed and I often make jokes about signs of the Apocalypse, but this time I’m genuinely not fucking around: The Charlie Sheen Sex Doll – SOLD OUT. Because apparently there are women out there who fear their non-mangled vaginas are depriving them of sex with a violent drug addict, so they’re willing to settle for his vinyl form. We’re all gonna die.

Exhibit B: Wait until you see who’s still alive at the end,

- The Superficial

Click Here to Start The Gallery

Photos: Fame, Flynet, INFdialy, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Charlie Sheen Sex Doll
    Commented on this photo:

    That doll has a better chance of getting a job on Two and a Half Men than Charlie does.

  2. Ricky Martin
    Commented on this photo:

    at least he doesn’t look gay any more.

  3. Josh Duhamel
    Storm
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty sure he’s touching Bumblebee’s ass.

  4. Josh Duhamel
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like every pedestrian in NYC trying to cross the street

  5. Jude Law
    Robert
    Commented on this photo:

    That kid is way too young to be cooler than his dad…

  6. Ricky Martin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Baby don’t hurt me, no more…”

  7. Ricky Martin
    Commented on this photo:

    Of course he went to the windy city, he was hoping to get blown.

  8. Charlie Sheen Sex Doll
    Commented on this photo:

    So how does it work? The doll pays you piles of cash to pretend it can get an erection?

  9. Mischa Barton
    bing
    Commented on this photo:

    So what ?

  10. Josh Duhamel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Jump over the hood of this car? No problem! It’s smaller than my wifes penis.”

  11. Fergie
    Commented on this photo:

    Fergunt

  12. Zac Efron
    Commented on this photo:

    “Pssh! I’ve sucked bigger cocks than that!”

  13. Dennis Quaid Gerard Butler
    Commented on this photo:

    “No seriously dude, there’s no inside on this pocket…I’m totally juggling my balls!”

  14. Josh Duhamel
    Gavagai
    Commented on this photo:

    So will Fergie be pretending to be Bo, or Luke?

  15. Fergie
    Commented on this photo:

    Nat King Cole said it best, “Forgettable. That’s what you are.” That’s not how it goes?

  16. Calista Flockhart
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve never seen the words “Calista Flockheart” and “grocery store” in the same sentence before.

  17. Fred Durst
    Commented on this photo:

    must be picking up his paycheck at dominos…

  18. Samantha Ronson
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty sure that even tying it shut won’t keep Lindsay out.

  19. Samantha Ronson
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t think anyone could look more wasted than her and then I saw the guy in the background.

    • Fletch

      I was thinking he looked stoned out of his mind. But, then again, maybe he just realized who he is walking behind.

  20. Michele Bachmann
    gollum
    Commented on this photo:

    this looks like the offspring of the kryptkeeper and the blair witch

  21. Michele Bachmann
    Commented on this photo:

    Clever of her to color coordinate her blouse and her teeth.

  22. Fred Durst
    Commented on this photo:

    He really did do it all for the cookies.

  23. Fred Durst
    Commented on this photo:

    As soon as he tracks down which store Federline is working at, they’re gonna collaborate.

  24. Zac Efron
    Undercover
    Commented on this photo:

    That is the face of someone who was leaving El Rey after finding out his date, Mischa Barton, is not, in fact, a dude.

  25. Charlie Sheen Sex Doll
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    Even with vigorous use, I bet the dolls will outlive the man.

  26. Craig Robinson
    neeto
    Commented on this photo:

    I seent it.

  27. Mischa Barton
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like someone punched Kirsten Dunst in the mouth.

  28. Dennis Quaid Gerard Butler
    Undercover
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s sad when Dennis Quaid looks more do-able than Leonidas.

  29. Ricky Martin
    Fai
    Commented on this photo:

    I always wondered what happened to Alfonso Ribeiro after the Fresh Prince.

  30. Ricky Martin
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    In case his outfit isn’t loud enough, Ricky is screaming, “I’M GAY!”

  31. Calista Flockhart
    Commented on this photo:

    Grocery List
    -3 tins of Coffee
    -2 cartons of Cigarettes
    -10 heads of iceberg lettuce
    -1 apple (to ‘treat’ herself)
    - 4 packs of Exlax
    -2 bags of cotton balls to eat when she gets “hunger pangs”
    This should keep Calista good for the next month or so

  32. Mischa Barton
    Senor Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Jodie Foster has a flashy dressing yet troubled sister.

  33. Josh Duhamel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Josh come back! Is that any way to treat your wife when she asks for a kiss?”

  34. Fergie
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d heard kirstie alley had dropped a few pounds!

  35. Jude Law
    BigJim
    Commented on this photo:

    Billy Crudup’s career sure has tanked since Watchmen.

  36. Fergie
    BigJim
    Commented on this photo:

    Geez, Fergie. Didn’t you learn about putting a book in front of it in junior high?

  37. Craig Robinson
    sparkymcgee
    Commented on this photo:

    Come on Craig…you’re better than that.

    Just because you’re black, you don’t have to go to a Tyler Perry movie.

  38. Samantha Ronson
    BigJim
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she recruit her body guards from the Special Olympics wrestling team or something?

  39. Michele Bachmann
    S'up Bitches!
    Commented on this photo:

    Can you believe this crazy bitch is considered “hot” in conservative circles?

  40. Craig Robinson
    Commented on this photo:

    makes perfect sense: Tyler Perry’s movies are Craig Robinson’s BM’s.

  41. Fred Durst
    sparkymcgee
    Commented on this photo:

    He is sort of like the Obie Wan Kenobi to all douchebags…

    “These aren’t the trucker hats you’re looking for.” (hand wave)

  42. Zac Efron
    Commented on this photo:

    Way to rock that “Something About Mary” hairdo…

  43. Zac Efron
    S'up Bitches!
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mischa, Gurlfriend? You actually went out in public wearing that? Hellz to the no?”

  44. Fergie
    Commented on this photo:

    Kirstie Alley wasn’t lying!! She really DID lose weight!!

  45. Jessica Lowndes
    Arzach
    Commented on this photo:

    We always need this oasis of hotness to deal with the rest of the crap

  46. Calista Flockhart
    S'up Bitches!
    Commented on this photo:

    “Vroom, vroom! My race car goes fast! Vroom, vroom!”

  47. Ricky Martin
    N
    Commented on this photo:

    What does a gay horse like to eat? HAAAAAYYYY!

  48. Fergie
    JMS
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, Kirstie Alley was right, anorexa is the way to go.

  49. Fergie
    JMS
    Commented on this photo:

    I also should maybe read other comments before posting…

  50. Fred Durst
    Arzach
    Commented on this photo:

    Same douche just older

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