The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 11.16.11

I’m sure her attraction is based solely on personality. Money isn’t even a factor.

Yep, the shame has finally set in.

everyone knows you’re bald.. seriously…just be a man about it.

It is like a fight to see who is a more disgusting and embarrassing abomination.

Remember those things where you rubbed a magnet around and put hair on a bald guy? And retard eyes? And a turkey neck?

And child molester week soldiers on..

Just how big is that fucking SUV?

Is that an invitation for us to randomly jerk off on her face if we see her?

You only see one, but there’s actually millions of those on her face.

“PSSSST – no more showers with the boys, Vicar!”

Good to see they assigned security to make sure she does not take her top off again.

Where’s an alien spaceship with a lab full of probes when you need one?

Damn, in New York even the ATM’s holla at bitches.

Is it just me or is everything in this photo terrifying, weird shaped and shitty? Square breast implants, post-menopause abdomen and…what’s that fleshy knob hanging off the back of her arm? An extra elbow? Parasitic twin?

You know things are rough when you’re forced to cut your own hair.

Fisting, on the defense.

A magazine giving someone an award/title for being hot who is actually hot? A novel idea; I hope it catches on.

I hear they didn’t even have to snip the Perineum.

Do you realize his penis might be the same size as one of her tights?

I am smiling because I am married to someone who was and still is hot….and because I get paid a lot of money to star in one mediocre movie after another.

Hilary Stuff.
(Did someone say that before? I can’t remember.)

Not much of a book signing without books or pens, is it?

Um, looks as though Penn State has provided us with a distraction for the time being…

“Out of my way! People used to know who I am!”

All I know of the Jersey Shore is what I see on websites but out of all of them, when she’s sober, she seems like she has the best head on her shoulders.

Mind blown!

“Let me go! I just don’t like visual humor, Carrot Top!”

Priest: “Between you and me, I think they are being a bit harsh on Sandusky over in America, don’t you agree?”
Charles: “Yes of course but do go easy on the wine, father. And for God’s sake, man, pour some more in my teabag. Tea CUP, tea cup.”

‘Confessions of a Guidette’ shares something with “Up from Slavery” by Booker T. Washington. You could use them both to prop up a table.

“Captain Dildo, reporting for duty, SIR!”

Oh hey, you were great in Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction.

Hey, I deed not take my nasonex today, so her puss & boots smell fine to meeee! It’s toooo sexy, ay TOO SEXY!!

I think this settles the question of how Neanderthals could have reached America.

I asked this yesterday but why does getting pregnant increase media attention? I mean I have nothing against her but the last time she got this much attention, Lindsay Lohan had all of her original (adult) teeth.

He looks like someone sent Eric McCormack back from the future to save us from the coming robot apocalypse…

“yes, yes, with the sandy blond hair?”

“no, no, no. That was Timmy, chap. Billy was taller.”

“BILLY! I remember him now….”

I don’t know who Katheryn Winnick is but she must be one hell of an actress to be pretending that whatever Charlie Sheen is talking about is remotely interesting or amusing.

‘Oh shit, that guy goes to the same gym as me.’

I like the length but those shorts need to be more snug. More snug I say!!

“Ssssir, sssir, you can’t come backstage. We’re all sssstocked up on gay here”

Looks like Barney just jacked off on Gaga’s head.

People always forget Qantas’ birthday because it’s on the same day as Walmart’s. Good for you John.

Gosh, I remember him. I was traveling on business. Id’ just driven to the Holiday Inn in a new Ford Granada. I’d stopped into the lounge for a Manhattan. He was, crooning The Girl From Ipanema. ’75 was a good year, yessiree.

Nice to see Julie Roberts and her Grandmother are doing well.

Taylor Momsen died her hair. she looks completely different now.

“Will you talk to the Lizards for me? I don’t know if it’s something I said.”

I never understood why this chick is considered a fashion icon. She dresses like someone’s crazy aunt from a small town.

Look at me. LOOK AT ME! I am telling you, mockery is good for your career.

Sorry, but if you are that rich and famous, do you really need to settle for Flavor Flav’s cast-offs? (((shudder)))

What is that, half a labia?