The Crap We Missed – 1.27.12

January 27th, 2012 // 559 Comments

“Appears to be sewn-in… Uh, clean-up, aisle frog.”

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Nick Nolte not giving a fuck so hard other people’s fucks are disintegrating before they themselves can be given, Vanessa Paradis trying to distract from her face in the worst way possible, Claire Danes getting banged by an Iron Chef and Superman‘s black now, so have fun adjusting to that one, racism, because he says his birth certificate’s up yo mama’s ass.

Up, up, and away, cracka,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Georggia Salpa Cleavage Kermit
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    how many Kardashians are there?

    • I don’t know but if this chick isn’t a Kuntrashian she better hurry and change her look because she’ll get sued.

      • sdfsd

        …difference being that this is this chicks natural look, whereas that fucking nobody Melissa Molinaro had her look completely altered just to look like Kim

      • bi chick

        Natural look? RU kidding me? False lashes, hair extensions, etc. puh-lease

    • Juaquin ingles

      Holy shit I thought it was Kim, especially on account of the veiny tits.

    • I always find the melissa Molinaro comments funny, especially when its trashing her. She’s basically had the same hair style for the last 10 years. I was peeping that girl ages ago when she did stuff for Sports By Brooks (this is 02, early 03) and its basically the same girl with updated style.

      Y’all need to stop hating.

  2. Carey Hart
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: Pink (because what Paparazzo would want to take photos of Carey Hart?)

  3. Nick Nolte Robe Hat
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    “Someone make sure to go wake Nick up a few minutes before the premier.”

  4. Georggia Salpa Cleavage Kermit
    Hello
    Commented on this photo:

    “I may be a green frog lady, but my boner is pink and hangs to the left just ilke Ian Somerhalder. See? Can you see my pink boner?”

  5. Georggia Salpa Cleavage Kermit
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope they fired the make-up artist that left those titty veins blue instead of doctoring them up green for the premiere.

  6. Kendra Wilkinson Cleavage Tank Top
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Kendra Wilkinson, shown here at Irrelevant Beach.

  7. Cynthia Nixon Bald Head
    Commented on this photo:

    “My Preciousss…”

  8. Nick Nolte Robe Hat
    Juice is Lose
    Commented on this photo:

    Just pay me in crack.

  9. Georggia Salpa Cleavage Kermit
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Miss Piggy is gonna wipe the floor with that booby bimbo.

  10. Daniel Radcliffe
    ChickenHawk
    Commented on this photo:

    “I see Death Eaters!”

  11. Georggia Salpa Cleavage Kermit
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are huge boob veins; they’re like tree roots. I would climb that mighty oak!

  12. Nicolas Cage
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Random New Yorker takes a photo of Nick Cage’s Q Score plummeting as he makes his way to Planet Hollywood for lunch.

  13. Georggia Salpa Cleavage Kermit
    Commented on this photo:

    So it’s a safe bet where the puppeteer’s other hand is.

  14. Daniel Radcliffe
    Commented on this photo:

    Total rip off of “The Lady in Red”. Hell, Hollywood has run out of ideas so they may as well make a movie for each color a lady could wear.

  15. Nick Nolte Robe Hat
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Does he wear his hat to the bathroom or his bathrobe to events?

  16. Armie Hammer Mugshot Marijuana Possession
    Every Black and Mexican
    Commented on this photo:

    White people are drug addicts.

  17. Daniel Radcliffe
    Commented on this photo:

    Just swallow it, Potter.

  18. Carey Hart
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t help but notice that the paparazzo doesn’t seem to be the least bit worried It’s hard to be intimidating when you have to look up at the other person; trust me, I know this well.

  19. Carey Hart
    Commented on this photo:

    You may think you’re tough with all your girlie tats but if you don’t shut the fuck up I’m gonna cap your ass.

  20. Daniel Radcliffe
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Was much cuter as a 4 eyed boy wizard.
    Maturity = pallid weirdface

  21. Bradley Cooper Moustache
    ChickenHawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Cha cha cha Chia!

  22. Kendra Wilkinson Cleavage Tank Top
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    The best thing I can say about her is she would be the hottest woman in the WNBA.

  23. Claire Danes Hasty Pudding Theatricals Woman Of The Year
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Claire Danes guest stars in the new Cirque du Soleil show, Bacque Dore’.

  24. Nick Nolte Robe Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    If a younger person did this, it would be funny. This just looks like a guy who wandered away from his assisted living facility.

  25. Seal
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    …the next, you are out.

  26. Georggia Salpa Cleavage Kermit
    Commented on this photo:

    Kermit was tired of the real thing and decided to go for something more “plasticky”

  27. Carey Hart
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s funny. His hat’s too big for his itty-bitty head.

  28. Nick Nolte Robe Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like they caught him going out for his newspaper.

  29. Kendra Wilkinson Cleavage Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    I completely forgot about her. Gee thanks for reminding me of this skank.

  30. Orlando Bloom Purple Sweatpants
    ChickenHawk
    Commented on this photo:

    I can see what Miranda Kerr sees in him, she loves clowns…

  31. Armie Hammer Mugshot Marijuana Possession
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    They must have run out of plastic rulers and masking tape and just gone straight to the spray paint.

  32. Carey Hart
    Commented on this photo:

    We all know who he really fears. And she has a much bigger penis than either of them…

  33. Nicolas Cage
    Commented on this photo:

    Who knew Nick loved flash mobs.

  34. Cynthia Nixon Bald Head
    Skull Fuch
    Commented on this photo:

    “We told him to go away and away he goes, Precious! Gone, gone, gone! Smeagol is free!”

  35. Kendra Wilkinson Cleavage Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    So is this one of those movies where something mystical happens and she swaps bodies with Kid Rock?

  36. Nicolas Cage
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ewww!! Is that a mouse?”

  37. Nick Nolte Robe Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like he never wanted to let go of “Down and out in Beverly Hills”…

  38. Orlando Bloom Purple Sweatpants
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Orlando Bloom runs out of pants, forges on.

  39. Seal
    Commented on this photo:

    Complete and total douche. Are those parachute pants? And please put the damn phone in your pocket!

  40. Georggia Salpa Cleavage Kermit
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    One of these is a hollow headed puppet routinely manipulated by a man. The other is Kermit.

  41. Nicolas Cage
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he honestly not even stopping to take a picture with that guy? Considering his last few movies, he should be happy to appear in something at least one person will be happy to see.

  42. Seal
    Commented on this photo:

    Did he have a growth spurt on the plane?

  43. Jessica Chastain See Through Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Quadranipples!

  44. Torrie Wilson Muscular Legs Alex Rodriguez
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    …emerging from the Krylon paint factory.

  45. Georggia Salpa Cleavage Kermit
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Mahna-mahna indeed…

  46. Armie Hammer Mugshot Marijuana Possession
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he was arrested in his mother’s basement.

  47. Nicolas Cage
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    The wax figure really captures his drug addled feebleness.

  48. Elizabeth Berkley Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess Showgirl’s was a long time ago.

  49. Vanessa Paradis Cleavage
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Her teeth may part in the middle, but she’s got a nice sternum.

  50. Seal
    Commented on this photo:

    And I thought Nolte didn’t give a fuck but this guy doesn’t even let the fucks manifest…

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