The Celebrites Are ‘Alive,’ Everybody!

December 7th, 2010 // 41 Comments

After not even six whole days, the celebrities involved in the Keep a Child Alive campaign managed to convince a billionaire to donate $500,000 so they can all return to Twitter after it was starting to look like it’d be awhile before they could shill for Best Buy again. So, on that note, I took the liberty of screen-capping their post-”death” tweets so the world can see what stupid kids dying of AIDS were keeping us from. It was practically criminal.

Click Here to Start The Gallery

Photos: Splash News, Twitter


  1. klo

    oh great, so the vapi whore is back to tweeting and doing whatever she can to get attention. yay.

  2. grace

    can plastic face just fall off the face of the earth? please?

  3. Kim Kardashian Twitter
    Commented on this photo:


  4. McFeely Smackup

    sigh…all we had to do was raise $999,999 and stop…then everybody wins.

  5. Alicia Keys Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Good thing she told us.

  6. Compound9

    Were done as a species folks!

  7. jojo

    I just smacked my Mother in the mouth, when she asked why, i showed her this post. She then asked me to hit her again all the while repeating the phrase “we’re all filthy whores, we’re all filthy whores….”

  8. Photoshop Police

    Dammit! WHO IN HERE GAVE THEM $$$$!

    I sure as hell didn’t!


  9. Photoshop Police

    dammit! here’s the clip I was looking for!

  10. Kim Kardashian Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    wow, what a bunch of saints! taking 6 whole days off from talking about themselves on twitter? BARF. get over yourselves.

  11. Salad Face

    Phew, now the Lady Dashes can finish the nail biting conclusion to the South-Mouth Mayo Chronicles on their Twitter accounts. It’s gonna be a good X-mas after all guys!

  12. The thing that really pisses me off is that these celebrities do these charity stunts for the free PR. It’s disgusting. Hey, if you want to tattoo Buy Bestbuy on your ass cheek. Cool. Want to wear a Pepsi hat on Jimmy Kimmel. Whatever. But try to stay out of the charity space unless you really believe in it. I’m happy that $1m was raised, but hey, if they were really serious about the cause, why not make it $10m or $100m. Or hey, better yet, how about just donating the money out of your own pocket. I’ve spoken to my share of celebs, and the vast majority (99%) know very little about the causes they “support”. Again, I’m glad that these organizations can benefit, but if you are truly serious about supporting a charity, try to learn about the cause in-depth and be an active participant, not just a passive donor.

    A classmate of mine started JUMO. If you are serious about getting involved in charities or similar, please visit

  13. justme I agree. These fame whores go and support charities without knowing what they are supporting. For the most part they don’t give a rats ass about the charity or what the goals of the charity are. They just think it’s so cool to have their name and face associated with some ‘good’ deed. Unfortunately people actually think they care!!! They don’t. It’s the association they care about and the good pub that comes along with it.

    You mean to tell me Kardash, Keys, Usher and the rest couldn’t pitch in 1 mill a piece for the charity of their choice? Sure they could. If they really cared they could donate money quietly instead of making a news conference everytime they fart on behalf of someone. I have a good life but it wasn’t always that way. So to give thanks to the community I live in I volunteer 5 hours a week at a soup kitchen. Believe me, if these self centered idiots truly cared they would pick up a spoon and serve some meals to those who really need the help, and NOT DO SO for a photo opportunity.

  14. molly

    so. annoyed. GAH.

    fucking congrats. collectively you raised 1mil (technically only 500k since half was donated by some billionaire) . It’s disgusting because why couldn’t EACH of these celebrities donate 1mil? Or 500k? Fuck, even 250k. Because they don’t actually give a shit (like others have said) and just want the publicity. It’s fucking disgusting and really provides a glimpse of their true character..

    That being said, at least 1mil was raised. No matter where/how/why the money comes to be it’s still a good thing..

  15. 67

    if it gives her camera time and publicity, kim whoredashian, aka Plastic Face, will do it. this was so little about actual charity and helping others than it was about getting publicity. these people should be ashamed of themselves, especially for not putting in the money themselves.

  16. Kim Kardashian Twitter
    Joe Normal
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank god they’re fine, I was so worried.

  17. Ryan Seacrest Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Jizz has lots of carbs.

  18. Kim Kardashian Twitter
    Commented on this photo:


  19. xtinapoopbutt

    stupidest campaign ever. these celebtards should have given the money.

    alicia keys is such a douchebagette.

  20. Lady GaGa Twitter
    Commented on this photo:


  21. MarkM

    I hope that billionaire has a bunch of kids, and they all die of AIDS.

  22. Mena

    They can all go die. Except for reals this time.

  23. Kim Kardashian Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    I think a stronger message would have been to give them AIDS. It might not have done anything for people who already have it, but it would free up some bandwidth.

  24. Facebook me

    Wow! Couldn’t Tweet or Facebook for a week and those where the best statuses they could come up with?

    NOT even a bit of gratitue shown to the person that made them “undead” so they can Tweet or Facebook this bullshit.

  25. Kim Kardashian Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    The saddest part is 39 fools retweeted this crap!

  26. Whatever

    God, I wish a meteor would hit Hollywood.

  27. jack

    What pisses me off and makes me hate these scum of the earth so much is that
    They HAD TO CONVINCE a billionaire really?

    So when the masses spoke, and didnt support them these ASSH0LES HAD to convince a guy to give money!! instead of giving it themselves,

    maybe the terrorists were right

  28. Lady GaGa Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    See? Senor GaGa gets it!

  29. Frito

    I enjoyed watching these celebs go through their twitter/facebook withdrawals while the donations trickled in. They figured people would be super eager to donate in order to get them back online…boy were they wrong. At the pace they were going it would have taken another week or 2 to get to $1 mil. I don’t think that is what most of these celebs had him mind when they signed up. I’m sure they missed Twitter far more than any of their fans do. Then that billionaire had to step in a be the big shot and bail these A-holes out. I’m sure he was contacted by the agents and corporate sponsors associated with these people to get them back promoting themselves and the crap they try and sell to us via social networking. Such a shame.

  30. A Man Duh

    Zombie apocalypse? We’re ready for you now.

  31. Khloe Kardashian Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Kloe tweets spam? Daaammmmnnnn that’s relevant.

  32. Kim Kardashian Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    I would have donated money to keep them off Twitter. They had their campaign backwards.

  33. wim

    yep, LINDSEY VONN IS STILL AMERICA’S NO.1!!!!!!!!!!!!

  34. Kim Kardashian Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Here I was hoping they were actually dead. Thank goodness they could come back and tell us about abso-f*ckin-lutely nothing. Self serving pricks.

  35. The Listener

    The important thing is that a million dollars was raised for a worthwhile charity. Let’s not focus on the motives behind the donation.

  36. blah

    They probably would have raised more money if they were asking for donations to keep them off of twitter. Like say, they stay dead until donations drop below $100,000 a day.

  37. Alicia Keys Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    what a bunch of posers!!

  38. Lady GaGa Twitter
    dead peter
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone finally caught the Blair Witch on tape.

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