The Banner Girl Contestants: Part 1

July 15th, 2010 // 780 Comments

With Erin declared the winner of The Superficial Banner Girl Contest, here’s a sample of some of the pictures that crowded up my inbox over the past two weeks. As you look through and wonder why the hell I didn’t pick this girl or that girl, keep in mind this thing involved breasts so I didn’t know what the fuck. In fact, here’s a true anecdote from my personal life to prove my point:

The other day I was driving when I noticed an attractive, full-chested female jogging and proceeded to say “Yes” out loud – to a car containing no one but myself. My brain was literally so overwhelmed with the presence of tits I had to verbally tell myself to enjoy what I was seeing. It’s a miracle only five people were hurt I was never even near that day care.


- The Superficial


  1. Bill
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  3. Commented on this photo:

    That’s one sexy wall plug.

  4. dr. rocktopus
    Commented on this photo:

    wow, how did the fat klan girl not win…hahaha

  5. Bill
    Commented on this photo:

    Also, should have made these be full body shots so you could have eliminated the 15 transsexuals hiding in these 40 photos…

  6. Commented on this photo:

    This one was fun.

  7. Commented on this photo:

    this chick has NO boobs

  8. Commented on this photo:

    Good god :X

  9. Is
    Commented on this photo:

    3 was pretty. Looks like Evangeline Lily. 11 was pretty as well. But I’m pretty sure a few of these that you posted were dudes with long hair. Just sayin.

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  13. Lynna
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh… this would be nice if she knew how to apply false lashes. FAIL.

  14. Woo hooooooo!!!!!! Team Jade paid off, there I am… first in line. Hate away or have fun in boner time. I’m so excited right now, I know I have a boner.

    • I have a ladyboner!

    • Jen

      Love it!!!! She’s mine! So everybody back off! I knew you would get up here you hot bitch!

      • I think Jake and Reese maybe the same lonely person cuz they keep sating the same LIES over and over. Find me on Facebook you fucking cowards and we can have it out. If you having something you wanna talk about with me, BE FUCKING FREE.

      • Les

        I’ve seen the things you’ve said. You act so nasty. Who would ever want a girl like you? Not me.

      • Mr. Bones

        JADE = PWNED


        1. Jade, you’re not as great looking as you think. Barely average.

        2. Jade, your personality sucks to a startling degree. I would never date a girl like you.

        2. Jade, do yourself a favor and shut up already.

    • sanny

      Why so many people are interested in an i-nterracial relations-hip. black woman want to date white man and black guys want to have relationship with white women. There are many sites focusing on this kind of relationships such as *** (B lack wh ite Romance)* .*{C00M} ***

      • Fuck you, spammer

        Take your stupid website spam & shove it up your black white ass, spammer…

      • Anon

        Anyone else notice that in Sanny’s ad, it only mentions how black people want to be in relationships with white people? Just an observation.

      • CARLO

        F that site!!!! It’s almost like gays. NO problem with them as long as they dont try pushing that shit on me! Keep that interacial fetish shit to your self. If you truly don’t care or are blind to color or race, you dont need a web site to search it out.

        Your site is racist!!!

    • brad

      team jade!

    • catch22

      i dont know whats worse, the fact that there was a KKK entry, or that there wasnt a single black chick in any of the photos

      • Bob

        and how the fuck is that any of the superficial problem? tell all your goddamn black friends to send in their stupid pictures. is like me saying
        how come theres no latinos in any of these? fuck dude because they didn’t send any pictures in!!!

        and the KKK pic, ITS AMERICA motherfucker so stop being sensitive about it. she can dress however the hell she wants.

        I hate sensitive fucks, i bet if you get a speeding ticket you blame it on the white police officer and not the fact that you were speeding down the highway!

    • CARLO

      The Klan one was hilarious!!! Hopefully they were joking of course. I don’t support the Klan but a F’ed up sense of humor made it funny for me at least.

      Pretty weak on the entries. I think the winner was a good choice

    • Christopher

      Way hotter than the girls we voted on… I’m disappointed, Jade should have been our new Superficial Banner…

    • Brain dead

      Most of the chicks in this contest are so stupid. For example– This one. That’s not a *PROFILE* shot. Dumb as a box of rocks.

    • Jake

      I was notified that the bane of my existence, Jade, was put up on this site. I’d like to take this opportunity to let the world know that JADE GAVE ME HERPES IN 2004.

      • Jake, who the fuck are you and why are letting the world know you have herpes? I didn’t give them to you. I don’t have a “jake” under my belt. Oh and one more thing, I don’t have herpes. Idiot.

      • brad

        internet tough guy posturing. don’t be mad that Jade is cute, and has an awesome personality! being bitter is not good dude. you need to let go of it. Jade is awesome, nothing any of you anonymous clowns can say will change that!

      • Jeff

        He can’t let go of it– Herpes are forever. Duh.

      • knee pads

        you probably can’t remember him because he fucked you and chucked you

    • Mr. Bones

      “Woo hooooooo!!!!!! Team Jade paid off, there I am… first in line. Hate away or have fun in boner time. I’m so excited right now, I know I have a boner.”

      That’s your post right at the top of the page, correct Jade? YES.

      So you in fact DID beg shamelessly to have on of the many pictures you sent in used? YES.

      Case closed.

      • I didn’t beg for anything. does it say anywhere that my picture (or anyone elses for that matter) got posted out of pity? I got posted because I sent my picture in. If you’ll notice I got posted with 39 OTHER CHICKS!!!!!!! Helloooooooooooo!!!!!! Why my picture got posted as the headliner is really up to the person running the website, don’t you think? I didn’t MAKE him do anything, so whats you real issue. Find me on facebook if you really have something of any merit to say. I don;t care about anyone thinking I’m ugly or fat or lame, whatever. But if you wanna get personal, I’m ready for it. But be a man and say it directly to me. don;t use an open forum to make yourself look like a tough guy. Blame your father for your small dick, not me.

      • Teacher

        You DID beg to have Fish use one of the many pictures you sent in. I’m someone who saw it along with many others, whether you deleted your fb comments or not.


        Obviously you DO care. A hell of a lot, in fact, because you keep coming back here to spew your vitriol.

        Get a life Jade Flyn. Get a life.

    • Mclovin'

      She looks like a stinky pussy.

    • animal

      I’m glad that sheet covers 90% of her… if only it covered her ugly mug and floppy tits then it would be a great picture.

    • I think she’s very cute. I wish I could have helped take better pictures for her. I see a little tan linage, more of that!

  15. Commented on this photo:

    mel gibson’s next baby’s mom

  16. Guest5112

    The best girl won!

  17. Commented on this photo:

    Boring MILF

  18. Commented on this photo:

    Hot mouf!! Mmm!

  19. Commented on this photo:

    What a cute profile!

  20. Commented on this photo:

    her ass looks like it would have one hell of a jiggle

  21. elkaybie
    Commented on this photo:

    I nearly spit out my beer on this one

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  23. brad
    Commented on this photo:

    Team Jade!

    • roeg

      This is one of those facebook photos where the girl with the MAN CHIN is trying to deceive everyone. Underneath that blanket she’s a cottage cheese blob with stretch marks and fat thighs.

    • Minotaur

      she’s got JOWLS! ewwww

    • Jake

      I was notified that the bane of my existence, Jade, was put up on this site…

      I’d like to take this opportunity to let the world know that JADE GAVE ME HERPES IN 2004.

      You wouldn’t be saying “Team Jade” if you were me.

    • Reese

      Check out her comments on facebook. Jade had to beg Fish to be on here as part of the 650 runners up.Fish put her pic up out of pity.

    • jody

      to bad that blanket doesnt hide her fat ankles… or droopy tits… or face.

      • knee pads

        isn’t this the same girl that was in a picture on here showing her sucking on a big black dildo?

      • Cheeto

        Too bad that blanket doesn’t hide her personality. She’s crude, mean and not intelligent. Fugly bimbo. Not an attractive package by any means.

    • animal

      flapjack titties and fat ankles

  24. Cindy Elmwood
    Commented on this photo:

    Butterface, but to be fair, she does have nice boobs.

  25. Commented on this photo:

    how was she not a finalist?

  26. Cindy Elmwood
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  27. Commented on this photo:

    KKKcup FTW

  28. Teri
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    wow! so pretty :)

  29. Iowan
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  30. Teri
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she’s really pretty!

  31. Cindy Elmwood
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my. Isn’t this one NSFW?

  32. Teri
    Commented on this photo:

    just a little chubby

  33. Iowan
    Commented on this photo:

    Milf, my ass.

  34. I suck
    Commented on this photo:

    makes me hungry

  35. Commented on this photo:

    is there a penis on her forehead?

  36. Toni Hall
    Commented on this photo:

    only a tranny would wear those heals fo real!!!

  37. mensa

    That attractive, full-breasted female you saw jogging was me.

    And just so you know: they are very real.

  38. Mister Bored
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m in love.

  39. WowShesHot
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d let her pee on me!

  40. Typical

    Well I leave for a few weeks on holiday back to Taiwan and i come back to see nothing out of ordinary:

    Another bunch of typical dumb slutty American whores. What respect you show for yourself as you strip for tabloid website. You have no dignity, none of you. How many Asian girls you see do this? Answer is zero. We have class and potential. While Asian womans become scientists, professors, business people, American losers post their semi nude pictures on the internet. So typical of your pathetic attention-seeking ways.

    No wonder your men want us. No desirable men want you. No Asian, white, or Jew will date you. Wesleyl Snipes dates Asian, Nic Cage does too, Rupert Murdoch, Woody Harrelson, the black American football player whos name I forget also dates Asian, Kevin James dates Asian, Dave Chapel dates Asian, ALL American men with money and power seek out Asian women. You are loud, obnoxious, annoying, materialistic, sluttyy, and selfish. Only scum want you. Blacks and Mexicans will only have you. But dont take that as compliment, they sex anyone and anything. The high class men go for us. We are everything they cherish. We are smart, kind, modest, respectful, elegant, sophisticated, classy, responsible, pure, innocent, and superior. Go watch Maury Show or Jerry Springer and that is typical American whore. You can’t even speak English your so dumb. The blacks there speak peasant speech haha.

    I see American sluts everwhere I look. You are shameless.

    • steve

      actually, there is an asian in the gallery – in a blue sports bra that’s about 2 sizes too small. mmmm – asian boobs.

    • absinthe

      I don’t even know why I’m responding to this because I know you’re just a stupid troll, but you clearly haven’t ever seen Asian porn before.

      • Typical

        “I don’t even know why I’m responding to this because I know you’re just a stupid troll, but you clearly haven’t ever seen Asian porn before.”

        Porn industry sells people fantasies. Every man fantasizes about an Asian. This is why Jew porn producers exploit the poor Asian women, and force them into their movies. Of course porn will not have lots of black women. No man will pay to see them. Black sex does not sell. Asian sells most, then white, then brown, and then black. Men pay big moneys to see beautiful Asian woman. Unfortunately most of these woman are poor and this is their way of living. You cant compare them to American whores who have everything and still act like sluts. For Asian sluts, it is their livelihood, for American sluts, it is their hobby. But Asian is rising, and we wont be poor anymore. Soon, no Asian will have to defile herself like American whores do for fun. All will have moneys and will be rich like many Asian countrys now like Japan, China, Korea, Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong. Most Asian in porn are from poor Asian countrys in the south who are darker. They are not as civilized as northern lighter skin Asians.

      • MitochondrialSteve

        You may want to talk to Bai Ling and Tila Tequila about that whole slutty thing not supposed to be a hobby for Asian women. Maybe they haven’t heard yet?

      • absinthe

        Your hit at “Jew porn producers” doesn’t help your arugument either. I’m done. Just google “Japanese game show.”

    • theweirdkidinthecorner

      I’m asian. And trust me when I say, I know way too many asian sluts than I care to admit too. Those bitches will give you a rim job anytime, anywhere and anyhow you like – if your wallet is fat enough.

      Personally, I think that’s worse than being a nymphomaniac who has sex because she likes too, not because she thinks she thinks cum is the equivalent of collateral.

    • sobrietyisacrutch

      ” a few weeks on holiday back to Taiwan ”
      How IS the drug mule business going?

    • Ratherbemethanyou

      hahaha, dude Asians are SUCH whores they’ll do anything for a dollar. and there are plenty of rich, powerful, HOT men that date white women. woody harrelson is hideous, kevin james is a fat fuck, and Nic cage? the guy is flat out broke…you should just admit to yourself that you are so jealous of white women. sorry all you asians look the same and will eat shit for a quarter.

      • Typical

        No man wants white women. Many of you are attractive, but your personality is awful. You are all high maintanenced, greedy, slutty, attention-seeking, opinionated, and loud. High class guys dont want that. They may sex you, but never enter a long relationship. That they reserve for Asian women. We are good. No man can tolerate you. But dont feel too bad, the blacks and Mexicans beat you in the bad personality test haha.

    • Viv

      It is good that you are so proud of being asian, but the moment you start talking trash like that, you become the lowest of the lowest…asians have class? not you! asians are pure and innocent? certainly not you!

      And please, before you start criticizing native English speakers, learn English yourself, you wrote “most of these woman” , “While asian womans” “men pay big moneys” “countrys” and there is no such thing in English.

      Another thing, don’t even start whining about English not being your first language because it isn’t mine either, I am Mexican and I feel I have every right to tell you to improve your use of the language, at least do that, because God knows that brain of yours is beyond repair.

      • Alli Watermelon

        EVERY man fantasizes about ASIAN women? Since…when….? I know plenty that do not lol. Just throwing that out there!

      • Typical

        You are Mexican… hahaha. I feel sorry for you. You are a member of the lowest race known to man. Your own country does not want you, America does not want you, NO ONE wants to live around you. Even your own former president says you are less than black remember that? Mexico urges you to leave, and America urges you to go back to Mexico hahaha. And yes I do have pride in Asian race. We are the superior race in the world. We are the smartest, most civilized, and best looking. You Mexican are brown and greasy. You are a race of janitors and lawn mowers. We are a race of scientists, engineers, inventors, businessmen, and statesmen. America wants more immigration from Asia and less from Mexico. You are scum. Even other Latin people are ashamed to be associated with you. You give spanish speakers a bad name. Everyone looks down on you. you are also slutty too. You start having kids by age 11 and have one every year until you are 45 hahaha. Close your legs for once. Taiwan is tiny island with no natural resourse and we have a better economy than you. That is how pathetic you are.

    • Mel Gibson

      Now put down that baby and blow me in the rose garden, you fuckin gook.

      • sobrietyisacrutch

        LMAO!!! Would that be before or after you burn her house down?

      • Viv

        And yet you got owned by a mexican telling you to improve your use of English which you did! much better this time, very good! keep it up

    • @Typical

      You are so fucking RACIST and IGNORANT. Every society has the type of people that represent their culture negatively that other cultures and places only see. There are what… 40 pictures here? SUCH a significant portion of America, right? I am part Mexican and part White. I am a top scholar at one of the best universities in America, and my fiance is white. I fit exactly into what you’re saying, right?

      I’m sure not everyone in Taiwan has tiny dicks and a genius IQ. Get over stereotypes.

    • Lol

      Lady, what evidence do you have to support the concept that being Asian makes you superior to anyone else? You’re embarrassing yourself by continuously repeating your ignorance with every post. Shut your fucking pie hole.

      • wow.

        Thumbs up to Viv, Lol, and theweirdkidinthecorner @typical for actually making sense without stooping – no, falling – to Typical’s level.

    • The Truth

      According to a recent United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) State of the World Population Report, these practices, combined with neglect, have resulted in at least 60 million “missing” girls in Asia, creating gender imbalances and other serious problems that experts say will have far reaching consequences for years to come.

      “Twenty-five million men in China currently can’t find brides because there is a shortage of women,” said Steven Mosher, president of the Population Research Institute in Washington, D.C. “The young men emigrate overseas to find brides.”

      The imbalances are also giving rise to a commercial sex trade; the 2005 report states that up to 800,000 people being trafficked across borders each year, and as many as 80 percent are women and girls, most of whom are exploited.

    • The Truth

      “Women are trafficked from North Korea, Burma and Vietnam and sold into sexual slavery or to the highest bidder,” Mosher said.

      State-Sanctioned Infanticide?

      Mosher, the first American social scientist allowed into China, puts much of the blame on Beijing’s one-child policy, which took effect in 1979.

      The policy encourages late marrying and late childbearing, and it limits the majority of urban couples to having one child and most of those living in rural areas to two. Female infanticide was the result, he said.

      “Historically infanticide was something that was practiced in poor places in China,” Mosher said. “But when the one-child policy came into effect we began to see in the wealthy areas of China, what had never been done before in history — the killing of little girls.”

      In recent years, female infanticide has taken a back seat to sex-selective abortion or female feticide, due to the advent of amniocentesis and ultrasound technology as well as other prenatal sex selection techniques, many of which are now readily available in clinics and doctors’ offices.

      “We feel it’s a serious problem that everybody should be concerned about and aware of,” said Wanda Franz, president of the National Right to Life Committee. “This is a form of abortion that, from our point of view is especially egregious. Abortion is claimed to help women; obviously in these cases, females are the direct victims, because women in these cultures are not valued.

      “In our family we adopted a Chinese baby,” she continued. “There have been thousands and thousands of them adopted since China’s one-child policy created this overabundance of baby girls in orphanages.”

      How bad are the imbalances between males and females in Asia?

      Generally, the normal sex ratio at birth (SRB) is between 103 and 105 males per 100 females, and in rare cases 106 or a bit more than that.

      Countries that are known to have or have had higher sex ratio at birth numbers include South Korea, which peaked at 115 in 1994, Singapore where the SRB registered 109 in 1984 and China, which has seen the numbers increase over the past two decades.

      Published reports in China show the gender ratio for newborns in 2005 was 118 boys for every 100 girls, and in some southern regions like Guangdong and Hainan, the number has reached 130 boys for every 100 girls.

      The 2000 Chinese census put the average sex ratio at 117, with Tibet having the lowest number at 103 and Hainan registering the highest at 136.

      Nicholas Eberstadt, a researcher at the American Enterprise Institute for Public Policy Research in Washington, D.C., attributes the large sex-ratio imbalances in places like China to a combination of factors: an enormous and enduring preference for boys reinforced by the low socioeconomic status accorded to women; the use of rapidly spreading prenatal sex determination technology for gender-based abortion; and the rapid drop in fertility in different populations, making the outcome of each birth even more important.

      “The one-child policy intensifies this problem, but if that policy stops and fertility levels stay at one or two, the problem won’t entirely go away,” Eberstadt said. “When the average number is down to one or two, there is an incentive for parents to meddle with the outcome. In places where fertility levels are high, there are few signs of sex selection.”

      In his presentation before the World Youth Alliance in New York City last April, Eberstadt warned that “The Global War Against Baby Girls” is expanding.

      “There are gender imbalances in almost every East Asian country, but Japan,” said Eberstadt, who has also noted alarming irregularities in Western Asia in places like Cyprus, Qatar and Pakistan, as well as in some countries on the African continent, including Egypt, Libya and Tunisia.


      • Really guys? While I share your political passions and desire for deep stimulating intellectual discourse…and would relish the opportunity to enter into a debate such as this with you – is this REALLY the PLACE? Come on – for Christ’s sake!!!!!!! Some of us hard working intellectuals need a break from the mental grind of our work — and love using this website as a perfect means of escaping that world for a few minutes by diving head first into superficial (but wickedly fun) nonsense to clear and re-energize our brain. If I wanted to see this, I’d be visiting another of my favorite websites. Don’t get me wrong…I put the blame for this stupid bullshit at Typical’s feet, and can appreciate and respect Viv and The Truth for stepping up and calling him on his nonsense with passion and conviction. @Typical…if you feel so strongly…why the fuck are you purusing this website? Go away and find a website that supports your extremist thinking where you can rant to your heart’s content.

    • The biggest troll is back from summer camp.
      Or did your parents take your PC privileges away because they caught you downloading porn again?
      You’re tenacity with this indicates problems….BIG problems.

    • pr

      I agreed with you until you said such horrible things about blacks and mexicans. Not necessary.

    • YM

      that’s funny. is there is no bigger whore than the asian girl. I used to bang this asian girl in the ass whenever I wanted. Never went out, never spent a dime. I would call her when I was drunk and bang her in the ass and leave. Was that you?

    • Rumple Fugly

      I’ve never once been able to punch Uncle Fester to Asian porn. I think it’s the dark nips or TOO much innocence. Or I’m still scarred from seeing pictures of asian chicks swallowing logs. Not sure.

    • Bob

      STFU typical. its all Mel Gibsons fault too huh?

    • tiger

      i love the irony in this sentence: “You can’t even speak English your so dumb.”

  41. Commented on this photo:

    True…no boobs…but she definitely has a Rachel McAdams cuteness about her.

  42. Commented on this photo:

    Very Sexy!!! Looks like a take charge girl who would take matters into her own hands…I just hope she continued looking me deep into my eyes as she was doing it!!!

  43. steve
    Commented on this photo:

    holy shit

    giant asian boobs ftw

  44. Commented on this photo:

    Not bad. Perfect pose for the contest. Pretty girl. Not top 5 finals quality…but definitely better than the lower quarter of those selected for the top 25.

  45. This was really fun. Was a great idea and I love that it seemed to carry on for weeks, that was hilarious banner girl section one week two, banner girl 3 week 4 section five. it was just fantastic. I’ve even thought of funny names for this summers’ shindig while in the bathroom. “First Annual Face of Superficial Summer Search” and then maybe “Second Annual Face of Superficial Summer Search”.
    Anyway all the ladies were and are delightful, you all showed us the better side of humanity which was so needed in these trying times.

    • sobrietyisacrutch

      I’m sure that’s all you were doing in the bathroom.

    • Lady Blah Blah

      “:..the better side of humanity in these trying times.” You’re like a walking happy face. If a bunch of skanks submitting pictures of themselves to an electronic National Enquirer type website is “the better side of humanity,” let’s hope for human extinction and hope it happens sooner than later.

    • Ted from LA

      *** WARNING *** Fake Randal Alert !!!

  46. Jinx
    Commented on this photo:

    The first girl? Geez….she is so hot that it hurts!

  47. absinthe
    Commented on this photo:

    Why didn’t pic 24 win? It’s perfect

  48. Commented on this photo:

    Sexy girl…but those implants look like they hurt!

  49. absinthe
    Commented on this photo:

    Ooops, I think I meant 23. Whichever number the blonde girl in black and white is.

  50. F
    Commented on this photo:

    SOOOO in love

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