The 84th Annual Academy Awards

February 27th, 2012 // 151 Comments

“Yes, I know it’s aimed at my penis. That’s why I made her wear it there.”

Here’s the rest of the Oscars red carpet photos plus Brooklyn Decker who wasn’t technically at the Oscars but her breasts are huge, so close enough. Think of this post as honoring the splendor of the Academy Awards if not the spirit hence all that side-pussy talk beneath George Clooney because, seriously, what the hell is that thing? Does he just turn to the right whenever he gets bored. “Hey, Brad, didn’t see you over there. And, oh, look, you brought pictures of the kids.” *turns to the right*

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet she puts potpourri in her vaj.

  2. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    Star Droppings
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess they don’t make organic breast implants.

  3. Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    Goddammed ballet frog!

  4. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    Flower puss

  5. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    Dried rosehips and cloves all up in there.

  6. Stacy Keibler George Clooney Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    George is gonna give her a lashing for getting in front in this photo op.

  7. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe some rose petals and a pinecone up her ass too.

  8. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    When she queefs, it leaves a pleasant aroma all throughout the room. Like those automatic air fresheners you plug in.

  9. Rooney Mara Oscars
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    This chick sucks and so does her acting. Nepotism rules.

  10. Milla Jovovich Oscars
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    I love her and her movies.

  11. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    A smoking hot idiot.

  12. Stacy Keibler Oscars
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    I charge $1000 an hour.

  13. Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied Oscars
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    Just a disgrace.

  14. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Do I look smug in this?

  15. Stacy Keibler George Clooney Oscars
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    The woman in the back left stepped in Nick Nolte’s poo.

  16. Natalie Portman Oscars
    Name Visible
    Commented on this photo:

    Polka dots to the Oscars? Her hair looks dirty.

  17. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look how close they’ve let those poor people get to us. They’re going to get their canned cheese everywhere.”

  18. Brooklyn Decker Cleavage
    skunk
    Commented on this photo:

    want to motorboat so bad

  19. Michelle Williams Oscars
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    I just expect little mouse noises to come out of her.

  20. Brooklyn Decker Cleavage
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Starting to look more and more like the hottest soccer mom at elementary school pickup. You know, the one with the really nice rack.

  21. Michelle Williams Oscars
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Squeak!

  22. Stacy Keibler George Clooney Oscars
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Was it “bring your daughter to work day” at the Oscars?

  23. Michelle Williams Oscars
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    So that’s what she does with all the crepe paper she saves from Christmas presents.

  24. Brooklyn Decker Cleavage
    mike
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck? She looks about 38. I mean, a really fucking *hot* 38, but still.

  25. Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied Oscars
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay buddy you can stop smirking now, we all know you are the guy who knocked up Natalie Portman.

  26. Milla Jovovich Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    Still looks good to me. Or maybe that’s just me showing my age.

  27. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet she thought she looked awesome. Actually, I’d probably think she was hotter if I didn’t know how goddamned annoying and pretentious she is.

  28. Stacy Keibler George Clooney Oscars
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She bores me to tears and he ain’t much better.

  29. Rooney Mara Oscars
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Somehow it works for her. Don’t anyone else try that shit.

  30. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Congratulations on a look that ages her by a decade and makes her tits lay down and die. Nice job.

  31. Milla Jovovich Oscars
    Kata
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought she looked gorgeous when she presented whatever award she had. I think she’s just making a kind of weird expression here.

  32. TheHomelessNinja

    Brooklyn Decker deserved dat oscar i kno dat

  33. Natalie Portman Oscars
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Yep… a fruity French dude had unprotected sex with her. The world makes no sense.

  34. Michelle Williams Oscars
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    And here I thought Katie Holmes and James VanDerBeek were gonna get nominated for Oscars.

  35. Stacy Keibler Oscars
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    George Clooney’s favorite Beyonce song is Upgrade U.

  36. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Once again Chris Martin, “The Invisible Husband”, manages to not appear with his wife at a career-critical event. Kudos to you Chris, because if it ain’t all about you, it ain’t about anything.

  37. Rooney Mara Oscars
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know Chun-Li was invited to the Oscars.

  38. Natalie Portman Oscars
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s someone’s mom now. Eeewww!

  39. Stacy Keibler George Clooney Oscars
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Gah, I hate it when my Depends ride up.”

  40. Stacy Keibler Oscars
    whiskeyafternoon
    Commented on this photo:

    I see why he’s hitting that this month.

  41. Rooney Mara Oscars
    lori
    Commented on this photo:

    Boring haircut and same facial expression in every picture. Tired of her schtick.

  42. Natalie Portman Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    such haters!

  43. Milla Jovovich Oscars
    Jonas Grumby
    Commented on this photo:

    How does she look so good in her movies, and so horrid in person?

  44. Rooney Mara Oscars
    Joey Caca
    Commented on this photo:

    Trust fund goomba throwin West Side of Fail for -5 street cred on the RC

  45. Stacy Keibler George Clooney Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s funny is that there’s no “Next Gallery” tag on the next batch in the slideshow, and when you get there, it’s two years ago and there’s Clooney with someone else. I didn’t even notice I had travelled back in time when I saw the Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony pic because aren’t they kind of actually still together sorta? Whatever.

  46. Milla Jovovich Oscars
    Sin
    Commented on this photo:

    I think it should be mandatory that the presenters be shit faces when they are on stage. Make this borefest interesting.

  47. Michelle Williams Oscars
    Sin
    Commented on this photo:

    Grow some damned hair. Tired of her looking the same.

  48. forrest

    you wonder how americans stay this slim?
    SHE STARTED TO REFUSE FOOD ONE ENTIRE WEEK BEFORE THE SHOW……………..

  49. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    Sin
    Commented on this photo:

    Lose the fucking cape. You are not Batman.

  50. Rooney Mara Oscars
    Mumbler
    Commented on this photo:

    Suddenly I’m hearing her shout “Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs! Gibbs!”

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