The 84th Annual Academy Awards

“Yes, I know it’s aimed at my penis. That’s why I made her wear it there.”

Here’s the rest of the Oscars red carpet photos plus Brooklyn Decker who wasn’t technically at the Oscars but her breasts are huge, so close enough. Think of this post as honoring the splendor of the Academy Awards if not the spirit hence all that side-pussy talk beneath George Clooney because, seriously, what the hell is that thing? Does he just turn to the right whenever he gets bored. “Hey, Brad, didn’t see you over there. And, oh, look, you brought pictures of the kids.” *turns to the right*

Photos: Getty