The 84th Annual Academy Awards

February 27th, 2012 // 151 Comments

“Yes, I know it’s aimed at my penis. That’s why I made her wear it there.”

Here’s the rest of the Oscars red carpet photos plus Brooklyn Decker who wasn’t technically at the Oscars but her breasts are huge, so close enough. Think of this post as honoring the splendor of the Academy Awards if not the spirit hence all that side-pussy talk beneath George Clooney because, seriously, what the hell is that thing? Does he just turn to the right whenever he gets bored. “Hey, Brad, didn’t see you over there. And, oh, look, you brought pictures of the kids.” *turns to the right*

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Frank Burns

    “And the Oscar for indifference about the Oscars goes to . . . Frank Burns!”. Pass.

  2. Natalie Portman Oscars
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Motherhood has been very good to her.

    • That may be true, but ruched-top dresses definitely cause them to look larger than they normally are. They are basically like pleated breast enhancers.

  3. Rooney Mara Oscars
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    fuck this bitch AND the Giants.

  4. asdf

    Surely there were more than 5 people there.

  5. Stacy Keibler George Clooney Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t decide who’s luckier – the ex-wrestler or the rich guy that gets to untwist those legs each night.

  6. Milla Jovovich Oscars
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    When she got up to speak, it seemed to me she was three sheets to the wind.

  7. Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied Oscars
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    Mr. & Mrs. Douche Chills.

  8. Rooney Mara Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    Its so hot when chicks use a cereal bowl to cut their hair.

  9. Rooney Mara Oscars
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Her newfound ego managed to fit into that dress? Amazing.

  10. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    So if Dracula came back as a skinny white chick, this is what she’d look lke?

  11. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    Jon Hex
    Commented on this photo:

    “Gwyneth! Gwyneth! How many Bothans died to get you to the Oscars?”

  12. Stacy Keibler George Clooney Oscars
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Enough of this elegance shit, put a thong on and bend over. (Yes, I do mean Stacy.)

  13. Rooney Mara Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    The illegitimate daughter of Moe Howard.

  14. Natalie Portman Oscars
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She was there representing the moron contingent.

  15. You're A Couch Potato

    Yeah I’m about bored with movies. Why don’t they invent something new? Did everyone with intelligence die about a hundred years ago? We’re living off the creative ideas of people that died 80 years go, and they wonder why they aren’t making as much money as they’re used to. Invent something new, if you don’t know how then fire everyone until you find a genius to hire.

    • Kinky Koala

      Hollywood works on the buddy system. Friend of a friend carries more weight in who gets hired than talent. That’s why most movies suck these days.

  16. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    “So I did a cleanse for a week, had an herbal wrap and then I was able to fit into this dress that was made by Jor-El and flown in all the way from Krypton.

    • Denture Creme

      Genius! +1 Omg

    • Frank Burns

      Allah, Jesus, and Mohammed wove it for her using white hair from God’s beard, because only a fabric of that nature can contain the beautiful spirit that is Gwyneth Paltrow. Just ask her.

  17. Stacy Keibler George Clooney Oscars
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s difficult to imagine that George Clooney ever has a moment where he doesn’t have reason to smile.

  18. God is Black

    Check the white dude over Old Grey’s left shoulder. That’s a serious lucky motherfucker stare…

  19. Brooklyn Decker Cleavage
    Have a nice day
    Commented on this photo:

    20 Years and you still haven’t cured AIDS? What are you spending the money on? You’re a fucking failure if you’re still doing that bullshit with no God fucking damn result.

    • sooooooosuperficial

      There’s no cure for the common cold, either. Maybe you should unleash your giant brain on the project since all researchers are failures.

      • cc

        ‘There’s no cure for the common cold’
        Just ask one of my direct reports…she has a cold every other Monday and Friday (alternating weekends).

    • badamp bamp

      it’s impossible to cure AIDS – the scientists can’t get the lab rats to buttfuck

    • El Jefe

      They have no desire to cure anything, then they would not be able to get idiots to keep giving billions of dollars to them a year so they can claim 80% of it for “expenses”.

      • Have a nice day

        “Maybe you should unleash your giant brain on the project since all researchers are failures”

        I’d fucking rather not. Your death by AIDS would be an improvement on the species. You wont be missed.

    • There’s no money to be made in curing a disease. Treating it indefinitely, now that’s another matter.

      • PhD in ART

        FYI, there are 2 cases of cure of HIV+ individuals so there is a progress. according to u theory then why do we have cure for dx such as gonorrhea, syphilis , some cancers ?

      • There are cures for many cancers … they are just not publicly available because .. well, what Iveski said. I was at a university conference 10 years ago that had example after example of cancer patients now 100% cancer free due to some of the techniques they were pioneering. Still not available commercially, probably never will be. We *have* cures for many things, but only some of them make it to being available due to corporate interference.

        http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/01/opinion/01brownlee.html?_r=0

  20. Stacy Keibler George Clooney Oscars
    Hellohello
    Commented on this photo:

    Blah give me more Steve O and Elisabetta Canalis pics lol

  21. Rooney Mara Oscars
    Hellohello
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she’s pretty

  22. Brooklyn Decker Cleavage
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    Great Rack! Roddick you are one lucky SOB!

  23. Stacy Keibler Oscars
    Well Damn
    Commented on this photo:

    As good as it gets.

  24. Rooney Mara Oscars
    Hellohello
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks very beautiful

  25. Milla Jovovich Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    Man. Paula Poundstone looks hideous!

  26. Milla Jovovich Oscars
    God is Black
    Commented on this photo:

    A milf that fights Zombies

  27. Derek Washington

    No Octavia Spencer?

  28. Stacy Keibler Oscars
    God is Black
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn you Grey Wolf!

  29. Milla Jovovich Oscars
    taco
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture doesn’t look like her normal face. Is it just a bad picture or did she get a face job?

  30. Brooklyn Decker Cleavage
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Kind of makes me think of the pretty teacher at school. Not a knockout, but pretty enough to prompt an orchard of 15 year old boners.

  31. Basement Jack

    Beard.

  32. Rooney Mara Oscars
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s wearing a special merkin for the occasion.

  33. Deacon Jones

    Keibler is so hot.

    And it’s obvious Clooney doesnt give too shits about her, he wouldnt even look at her last night.

    (I think I just turned a little gay for making this statement).

  34. Brooklyn Decker Cleavage
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, is it me, or did she age about 10 years since last year?

  35. Michelle Williams Oscars
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s so darn cute.

  36. Natalie Portman Oscars
    commander bloop
    Commented on this photo:

    OVERRATED…and not half as hot as she thinks she is

  37. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d pepper her pot.

  38. Brooklyn Decker Cleavage
    marno
    Commented on this photo:

    she has a very nice “decker”!

  39. Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    “Tit’s but a walking hollow, an absent boob
    That struts and frets red dots upon the stage
    And then is seen no more: it is a lie
    Held by an idiot, full of air and fabric,
    Turgifying nothing.”

  40. Milla Jovovich Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    With all due respect: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

  41. Michelle Williams Oscars
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    CCI was just going to say, “Look at me, I’m so cute”

    I need an insulin shot every time I see this tart. Meh. She was great in DICK and nothing since.

  42. Rooney Mara Oscars
    Skip Ridiculous
    Commented on this photo:

    I think Spock looks terrific!

  43. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    “To show her support for “Saving Face”, Gwyneth showed up with the accessory du jour, a Pakistani man’s head.”

  44. Rooney Mara Oscars
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    The girl on the left has a face even rounder than Miley’s…huh.

  45. Natalie Portman Oscars
    ksmack
    Commented on this photo:

    Boring.

  46. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    ksmack
    Commented on this photo:

    It is NOT ok to wear all white, upon white, upon white–get over yourself! Boring.

  47. Milla Jovovich Oscars
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    The zombies got her in the end, apparently.

  48. Gwyneth Paltrow Oscars
    Smile Pretty
    Commented on this photo:

    40 year old Gwyneth Paltrow looks 55.

  49. El Jefe

    I watched Clooney when he gave that tour of his house the other day and listened to him last night and you can tell he is just a prick. I like him as an actor, but he just seems like he is a Grade A jerk in private. I feel sorry for the women he dates, I bet he is just an ass to them.

  50. Natalie Portman Oscars
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s dead to me now after fucking that ballet frog.

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