The 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards

January 14th, 2013 // 122 Comments

And we’re spent with the Golden Globes already, so here’s the rest of the fancy people there including hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler who based on the illegal YouTube clips I could barely understand, did an awesome job calling everyone in Hollywood crybaby assholes to their faces. But before everyone thinks they’re so witty and clever, we’re going to post photos of Lady GaGa bending over and ripping her pants which is probably the most sophisticated form of comedy there is. I wore a top hat the whole time.

Photos: Getty

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  1. Jon Hamm Jennifer Westfeldt 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
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    I bet fish didn’t even WANT to buy this pic… What’s a John Ham pic without the outline of his penis?

  2. Kate Hudson 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
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    Hey. Hey. That’s Dustin Hoffman in the background! How come we don’t get any photos of him? Is it only about the eye candy, Fish? Can’t we get some actual talent up in here for once?

  3. Zooey Deschanel 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
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    “Siri, is that a train?”

  4. George Clooney Stacy Keibler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
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    Man, she’s hanging in there longer than a Titanic survivor.

  5. Salma Hayek 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Wheres my hat ?
    Commented on this photo:

    ah the hands of fate, she thinks she’s point to her eyes for all the men, meanwhile the light effect tells the real story…

  6. Hayden Panettiere 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    dcougar
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she have some work done to her face…?

  7. Anne Hathaway 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Wheres my hat ?
    Commented on this photo:

    most confusing chick in hollywood. Wanted to bang her in Batman. Now feel gay for doing so.

  8. Kaley Cuoco 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Wheres my hat ?
    Commented on this photo:

    And the winner for Best Stolen Career Playing the Hot Girl Whilst Actually Not Being One Award is….

  9. Katharine McPhee 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    dcougar
    Commented on this photo:

    MOAR!!

  10. Eva Longoria 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Wheres my hat ?
    Commented on this photo:

    “excuse me mam – you left your hotness over here on the floor”

  11. Kaley Cuoco 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    dcougar
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like the long lost Olsen twin…

  12. Amy Poehler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    dcougar
    Commented on this photo:

    “Back on the market, better show of the twins!” – Amy Poehler

  13. Zooey Deschanel 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Wheres my hat ?
    Commented on this photo:

    2-1 she’s just shielding that guy taking a piss…

  14. Eva Longoria 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    M3
    Commented on this photo:

    they’re all so pathetic with their ‘glimpse of thigh’ moves. That’s not a glimpse, it’s practically full frontal.

  15. Jessica Chastain 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    M3
    Commented on this photo:

    what a weird dress. I lost the boobs for a moment there.

  16. Kaley Cuoco 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
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    Stop. Just stop what you are doing and go home!

  17. Sarah Hyland 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Monchichi, Monchichi …

  18. Eva Longoria 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Me? Slipping into obscurity? No way.

  19. Sarah Hyland 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    M3
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this a Bratz doll?

  20. Zooey Deschanel 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, where’s the ‘Vacancy’ sign?

  21. Salma Hayek 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘No really guys, there’s a giant fucking spaceship 200 ft above your head. LOOK!!’

  22. Jessica Chastain 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Kind of like a January Jones that can smile and act and use birth control.

  23. Amanda Seyfried 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks pretty good here actually.

  24. Anne Hathaway 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Snatch or go home.

  25. Marion Cotillard 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She looked great, I have to say. I can’t believe all the nice shit I am saying today.

  26. Katharine McPhee 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    The Golden Globes! Yaaaay.

  27. Jon Hamm Jennifer Westfeldt 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I swear those pants have triple stitching in the jock area or PENIS EXPLOSION. Jennifer looks very very satisfied….. A pre-Golden Globe fuck?

  28. Kaley Cuoco 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Not bad for her first attempt at putting on make up by herself.

  29. Amy Adams 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess I don’t know enough about female fashion (then again, my knowledge is largely limited to ‘yay for thongs’.) but that dress looks idiotic.

  30. Eva Longoria 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    That guy was going to fist bump her ass. Is that a new trend? Hurray!

  31. Hayden Panettiere 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Kind of cool…she’s so small you could toss her in the air and play ring toss with her vagina.

  32. Tina Fey Amy Poehler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
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    Left,MILF, right funny female comedian………………

  33. Hayden Panettiere 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Wheres my hat ?
    Commented on this photo:

    That pink make-up makes it look like she’s some teenage girl who doesn’t understand all the grown up stuff like make-up. Oh … wait.

  34. Kaley Cuoco 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    The undead child from many a horror movie.

  35. Zooey Deschanel 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Wheres my hat ?
    Commented on this photo:

    All hail the hyno-toad !

  36. Eva Longoria 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Say what you want, she is still a petite Latino fuck machine. I can overlook the media whoring with the stupid chicken thigh.

  37. George Clooney Stacy Keibler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    ksmack
    Commented on this photo:

    I think i just saw the moment George became old. This photo. He looks old.

  38. Hayden Panettiere 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Little pixies only came out at night right? Well the ones you want to have sex with…………

  39. Stacy Keibler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Die Grey Fox die!

  40. Amanda Seyfried 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “I make ur eyes, u Nexus Six?”

  41. Kaley Cuoco 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF? Is that on the left behind her the twinky(TWILIGHT) dude? EMO girl make up not cool at awards.

  42. Amy Adams 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
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    She cleans the red carpet with that like the “Squishy”.

  43. Eva Longoria 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Tu eres muy estupido

  44. Salma Hayek 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I watch too much porn.They all look at the camera like that b4 masturbating.

  45. Salma Hayek 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Holy Sam Hill
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweet Jesus.

  46. George Clooney Stacy Keibler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I the only person in America who can’t stand this guy? He seems so smug and everyone else seems to find him charming besides me. I know he’s done good charitable work, but he seems so ego-maniacal.

  47. Tina Fey Amy Poehler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
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    I LOVE THEM. They are seriously two of the funniest, most beautiful beings ever. They were so funny as hosts last night.

  48. Amy Adams 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
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    Amy is usually very pretty, but there’s just way too much beige happening here.

  49. Eva Longoria 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
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    Dumbass

  50. Hayden Panettiere 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    That makeup doesn’t suit her. She’s so pretty, but it looks like she let her little niece apply her makeup or something.

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