That’s More Like It

August 20th, 2010 // 34 Comments

What at first seemed like another sad example of PTSD gone horribly wrong, has finally revealed itself as your typical “Boy Uses Swamp Pig for Publicity” thus restoring balance to the universe and allowing me to stop writing letters to the Pentagon. *chucks crayons out the window* RadarOnline reports:

The same day RadarOnline.com reported that his romance with Jersey Shore’s Snooki had hit a road bump, Jeff Miranda was spotted living it up at a New York City strip club.
Stopping in at the Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club on Wednesday night, Miranda was interviewed by Chaunce Hayden for his Shovio.com web-TV broadcast, Steppin Out of the Tabloids with Chaunce Hayden, live from 8 to 9pm. While at the club Miranda spent some time with porn star Savanna Samson and Penthouse Pet Anju McIntyre – in fact both girls were fighting over Snooki’s boyfriend!
“Miranda did little to resist and was seen canoodling with Samson after the show,” a source told RadarOnline.com exclusively.

Turns out Jeff Miranda here auditioned for Jersey Shore and didn’t make the cut. Which explains why MTV has apparently slapped a muzzle on him:

When it comes to Angelina’s claims that he tried out for Jersey Shore, Miranda admitted, “It is true that four months ago I received an email asking me to send in an audition tape. And I did. I admit, I did try out for the show.“
However, he stopped short of saying where their relationship was currently at. “Due to confidentiality, I can not talk anymore about my relationship with Nicole at this time. That may change but for now I can’t make any further comments about Nicole or anyone else on the show.”

Honestly, I don’t care if this guy’s dad owns MTV or he has footage of The Situation banging Paulie D in a vat of tanning oil. I’m just happy to know our brave soldiers aren’t coming home and shoving their penis in Snooki because of deep psychological wounds that the military writes off as “just being pussies.” You came through today, America. You came through.

Photos: Splash News

Jeff Miranda On "Steppin' Out Of The Tabloids with Chaunce Hayden"
Jeff Miranda is enjoying his newfound fame as the cute buff juicehead ...
Jeff Miranda has the muscles that his girlfriend Nicole Snooki Polizzi ...
Jeff Miranda
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Perry Young, who normally plays the upbeat bodega owner Usnavi – the role originated by Miranda – was absent. In his place was his understudy Jeffrey Nunez. So it’s not possible to say if Young has Miranda’s knock-’em-dead talent. Nunez certainly ...

Comments (34)

  1. its me fuckers | August 20, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    one thing I sure as hell wouldn’t want to see on Snooki is her “O” face.

    Reply
  2. adrienne | August 20, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    this girl looks like 5 miles of bad road between Dallas and Houston….

    Reply
    • Crusty | August 20, 2010 at 4:57 pm

      That’s particularly scary given that there’s 245 miles of bad road between Dallas and Houston, any 5 of which can be selected.

      Reply
  3. craig | August 20, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    yo this is bullshit why does this guy get to bang playmates and pornstars hes got lines shaved into his air and hes not even famous hes not even rich!! he wasnt even on the fucking show!

    Reply
    • Cock Dr | August 20, 2010 at 3:03 pm

      Just goes to show how dumb those women are.
      They think he’s famous & will help them out in their entertainment careers…because he’s having intercourse with the “Snookie”.
      Perhaps they should look into enrolling at a local community college instead. There’s always a need for pretty dental assistants or someone to sponge bathe seniors at the nursing home.

      Reply
      • The Only Hetero in this Joint | August 20, 2010 at 3:53 pm

        You ought to know….grandpa

  4. WOW | August 20, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    Jersy seams like it’s full of ugly skanks and meatheads

    Reply
    • dudeatdudedotdude | August 20, 2010 at 3:01 pm

      jersey shore IS full of ugly skanks and meatheads–from ny and phila

      Reply
    • tiffanee | August 20, 2010 at 7:27 pm

      7/8 of the cast members aren’t even from jersey.

      Reply
  5. grobpilot | August 20, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    Pic #1: She looks like a fucking Sleestak.

    Reply
    • Willie Dixon | August 20, 2010 at 3:05 pm

      That dude looks like Peter Brady on roids.

      Reply
  6. Jack | August 20, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    Craig, jealously over whores isn’t a good look, homie

    Reply
    • craig | August 20, 2010 at 4:25 pm

      shut up fag!!!! learn how to use the reply button!!!!!!!

      Reply
  7. Ksurfiws | August 20, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    I wouldn’t bang her with your dick and the fish pushing

    Reply
  8. Meh | August 20, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    Grob – funniest thing I’ve read all day. Congrats.

    Reply
  9. squiggy | August 20, 2010 at 2:47 pm

    Comments fail. Are the jersey shore rejects now residing in the superficial’s comments sections? Somehow that seems appropriate. Can’t we get some actual commentary in here?

    C’mon, it’s a story about Snooki, that shit writes itself.

    Reply
  10. Willie Dixon | August 20, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    “While at the club Miranda spent some time with porn star Savanna Samson and Penthouse Pet Anju McIntyre – in fact both girls were fighting over Snooki’s boyfriend!”

    And like Snooki, they are attracted to rich stench of Tag body spray and loose 5 dollar bills…and maybe bacon fat.

    Reply
  11. John | August 20, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    Is there a way to bookmark this site so that Snooki posts don’t show up?

    Reply
  12. McFeely Smackup | August 20, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    Are these articles written by morons?

    “While at the club Miranda spent some time with porn star Savanna Samson and Penthouse Pet Anju McIntyre – in fact both girls were fighting over Snooki’s boyfriend!”

    It’s a FUCKING STRIP CLUB! They’re actually surprised the dancers in a strip club pay attention to a guy. As for the “canoodling”, it’s called a lap dance, and costs $20. idiots.

    Am I missing something, or have these two been at an amusement park for like a month now?

    Reply
  13. Deanna | August 20, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    Snooki is a sweet girl. A little aloof, but she has genuine good qualities which can’t be said for many other people in Hollywood

    Reply
    • dudeatdudedotdude | August 20, 2010 at 3:30 pm

      good one, snook

      Reply
    • K | August 20, 2010 at 4:57 pm

      I never knew Randal was married.

      Reply
      • grobpilot | August 20, 2010 at 5:39 pm

        I think this is Randal, in drag.

      • Sheena | August 20, 2010 at 6:22 pm

        LOL! Love ya, Randal.

  14. lulacrazygirl | August 20, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    Crayons, eh? I pegged you as more of a washable marker type, Fish.

    Reply
  15. oooaaahhh | August 20, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    ENOUGH WITH THESE PEOPLE(?) ALREADY!!

    Reply
    • lulacrazygirl | August 20, 2010 at 4:31 pm

      In case you’ve forgotten, this website’s main purpose is to make fun of celebrities. Though you and I may disagree about whether or not they’re legit celebs, there are many that do. Besides, who better to poke fun at than these tan-streaked failures at life?

      Reply
      • steve | August 20, 2010 at 5:51 pm

        I thought the websites main purpose was to show bitches in bikinis and keep me up to date with the stupid shit these broads be talking about at the bar.

  16. Internet | August 20, 2010 at 4:28 pm

    My girlfriend has the SAME EXACT boyfriend.

    Reply
  17. stinky mcpoop | August 20, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    Since they already have a character called The Situation, maybe they can call him The Miranda Rights. Ar Ar Ar!

    Reply
  18. Sardonic | August 20, 2010 at 6:48 pm

    ‘Swamp Pig’ – good one, Fish!

    Reply
  19. captain america | August 20, 2010 at 11:22 pm

    psssst: WHEN DO WE SEE HER VAGINA?
    …….please?

    Reply
  20. Rhialto | August 21, 2010 at 9:48 am

    Is it legal to have her unleashed walking around!?

    Reply
  21. enragedbaboon | December 12, 2010 at 6:47 am

    SNOOKIE WANT SMOOSH SMOOSH!

    Reply

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