That’s More Like It

What at first seemed like another sad example of PTSD gone horribly wrong, has finally revealed itself as your typical “Boy Uses Swamp Pig for Publicity” thus restoring balance to the universe and allowing me to stop writing letters to the Pentagon. *chucks crayons out the window* RadarOnline reports:

The same day reported that his romance with Jersey Shore’s Snooki had hit a road bump, Jeff Miranda was spotted living it up at a New York City strip club.
Stopping in at the Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club on Wednesday night, Miranda was interviewed by Chaunce Hayden for his web-TV broadcast, Steppin Out of the Tabloids with Chaunce Hayden, live from 8 to 9pm. While at the club Miranda spent some time with porn star Savanna Samson and Penthouse Pet Anju McIntyre – in fact both girls were fighting over Snooki’s boyfriend!
“Miranda did little to resist and was seen canoodling with Samson after the show,” a source told exclusively.

Turns out Jeff Miranda here auditioned for Jersey Shore and didn’t make the cut. Which explains why MTV has apparently slapped a muzzle on him:

When it comes to Angelina’s claims that he tried out for Jersey Shore, Miranda admitted, “It is true that four months ago I received an email asking me to send in an audition tape. And I did. I admit, I did try out for the show.“
However, he stopped short of saying where their relationship was currently at. “Due to confidentiality, I can not talk anymore about my relationship with Nicole at this time. That may change but for now I can’t make any further comments about Nicole or anyone else on the show.”

Honestly, I don’t care if this guy’s dad owns MTV or he has footage of The Situation banging Paulie D in a vat of tanning oil. I’m just happy to know our brave soldiers aren’t coming home and shoving their penis in Snooki because of deep psychological wounds that the military writes off as “just being pussies.” You came through today, America. You came through.

Photos: Splash News