‘RHONJ’ Teresa & Joe Giudice Indicted For 39 Counts of Bank Fraud And Tax Evasion

If you’ve added up all the time I’ve watched Real Housewives of New Jersey, it would roughly equal an hour at best. But just from that little amount of time, I could easily tell you that Jacqueline Laurita’s breasts are phenomenal, and that Teresa and Joe Giudice are God awful people who should be shot into a sun or the nearest tanning bed. Tom-ay-ta, tom-aha-ta. Anyway, bada-bing, bada-bang, they’ve just been indicted for 39 counts of fraud and tax evasion and are looking at 50 years in prison. TMZ reports:

U.S. Attorney Paul J. Fishman just announced the 39-count indictment, claiming Teresa and her hubby massively defrauded the IRS as well as several banks between 2001-2008.
According to the U.S. Attorney, the Giudices conspired to illegally obtain mortgages and other loans from multiple banks by intentionally overestimating their incomes in order to get more money.
The Giudices also allegedly withheld vital information about their net worth from a U.S. bankruptcy trustee after filing for Chapter 7 in 2009 — including Teresa’s true income from the reality show.
As for tax evasion, Joe is accused of failing to file income tax returns for the years 2004-2008, during which he allegedly earned $1 million.

Ironically, these are the same eggheads who were talkin’ smack on the cast of Jersey Shore for giving Jersey a bad name, except I don’t see Snooki or Mr. JWoww ova here getting nailed on tax charges like they’re Tony fucking Soprano. Don’t get me wrong, they got that herpes business that makes your balls feel like the frickin’ Sahara, but udderdendat, they’re good kids. Now shutcha yap, the Jets are on.

Photo: Splash News