‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ Has A Trailer

March 27th, 2014 // 13 Comments
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Trailer
WATCH: 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Official Trailer

Here’s the official trailer for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles which looks exactly like what you’d expect from a Ninja Turtle movie made by Michael Bay and the director of Battle Los Angeles. That said, I didn’t see any testicles or giant turtle dicks, so I hope every single person involved gets AIDS in the mouth. (Can you tell I’m getting back into serious film critic mode? I was trying to be subtle.)

superficial

  1. Usagi Yojimbo or GTFO*

    *Megan Fox burger shots are also acceptable

  2. Won’t be any good unless they resurrect James Avery to do Shredder’s voice.

  3. Art

    Mikey made me chuckle. I hate that I’m going to have to see this.

  4. TheTruth

    I guess we can just slap a yellow trench coat on anyone? To me she just screams “Hey, this is a movie!”. Makes the whole premise hard to believe.

  5. Swearin

    My inner 7 year old self is highly-conflicted about this; I was in the TMNT fan club, I had all the toys, I watched every episode of the original cartoon, so I’m supposed to want to see this…

    But having Michael Bay’s stupid name right in the front makes the $12 I might spend on a ticket say “Let’s buy you a couple pints instead; you could call it the ooze!” Well that, and the movie looking like another CGI shitshow of creatures ludicrously flipping around and buildings getting demolished every few seconds (fuck you, new Spider Man films).

  6. dennis

    The freaky human lips on a turtle. Could be worse. The turtles could have nipples.

  7. The pill would be so much easier to swallow if Micheal Bay’s stupid name wasn’t mentioned in it.

    But, hey, ‘got nothing better plan for August right now, so…

  8. Deacon Jones

    This movie is going to suck. so bad. so bad

  9. The turtles all look like the sons of Charles S. Dutton.

  10. MZ MIZRY

    some equal time for the new My Little Pony trailer would be nice.

  11. This looks terrible. And how does Megan Fox keep getting acting roles? I assume a casting couch is involved.

  12. albert

    dude I just filled the cup! their faces are a lull weird but this looks promising!

  13. Jimmy

    I’m a guy and I like watching Megan fox for many reason non of witch include acting. The turtles new faces are retarded even my kid who didn’t grow up watching the old turtles thinks the original version look better.

Leave A Comment