Of Course ‘Teen Mom’ Jenelle’s Only Six Weeks Pregnant, Of Course
Yesterday, the Internet got to enjoy a collective “Aw, goddammit” when Jenelle Evans, easily the stupidest, most white trash of the Teen Moms (You tried your best, Amber.) announced she’s pregnant again by immediately selling the exclusive news to Star before she even finished wiping from the test because, surprise, she’s only six weeks pregnant. I’m convinced when I finally see a vagina it’ll look like a sandworm from Dune and even I know you’re supposed to wait until after the first trimester to start telling people let alone tweeting “baby bump” photos like Jenelle did yesterday. And speaking of Twitter, if you want to feel really awesome about this pregnancy, just take a look at such incredible tweets as “I’m two months sober,” her husband’s (positive) paternity test and a retweet of him bitching about said ex who sued him for it. It’ll literally be a miracle if this kid isn’t born with Mountain Dew for blood and a tail.