Of Course ‘Teen Mom’ Jenelle’s Only Six Weeks Pregnant, Of Course

January 17th, 2013 // 30 Comments
Aw, Goddammit
Teen Mom Jenelle Evans
Teen Mom Jenelle's Pregnant Read More »

Yesterday, the Internet got to enjoy a collective “Aw, goddammit” when Jenelle Evans, easily the stupidest, most white trash of the Teen Moms (You tried your best, Amber.) announced she’s pregnant again by immediately selling the exclusive news to Star before she even finished wiping from the test because, surprise, she’s only six weeks pregnant. I’m convinced when I finally see a vagina it’ll look like a sandworm from Dune and even I know you’re supposed to wait until after the first trimester to start telling people let alone tweeting “baby bump” photos like Jenelle did yesterday. And speaking of Twitter, if you want to feel really awesome about this pregnancy, just take a look at such incredible tweets as “I’m two months sober,” her husband’s (positive) paternity test and a retweet of him bitching about said ex who sued him for it. It’ll literally be a miracle if this kid isn’t born with Mountain Dew for blood and a tail.

Photos: Twitter

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  1. How about some background screening for people who want to procreate, huh Obama? Ain’t no more dangerous weapons than a loaded cock and a stupid skank.

  2. Cock Dr

    Still plenty of time to get an abortion… after collecting a few more tabloid paychecks.

  3. LeakyNose

    The bathroom door is off it’s hinges…..common!

  4. Diana

    Damn she never learns.

  5. Goose

    Why is every selfie taken in a filthy room?

  6. EricLr

    Saddest comment of all from the articles: “Neither parent currently has custody of their respective children.”

    And this is why I believe in forced sterilization at birth, with a “I’m not a complete unemployed, drug addict, trainwreck of a human being” license required to become unsterilized.

  7. mark

    god she fuckin looks like she’d smell bad!
    once again, her head looks like a watermelon with a tiny face painted onto it. violent whores like this pig shouldn’t be allowed to exist.

  8. Jenelle Evans Pregnant Baby Bump Courtland Rogers
    sprub
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s the deal with that door ?
    Did she sell the hinges for Kei$ha magic dust (TM) ?

    • If you’ve been around white trash, you would know that broken doors and holes in the wall are common. A side effect of the fighting and drinking.

  9. Jenelle Evans Pregnant Baby Bump Courtland Rogers
    Commented on this photo:

    Bob… I’ll not take the item before me, but take what’s behind door #1.

  10. Jenelle Evans Pregnant Baby Bump Courtland Rogers
    Commented on this photo:

    “So you’ll crop the girl out of the picture and put me on a Please Adopt Me! poster?”

  11. anonym

    her face screams Retard

  12. Jenelle Evans Pregnant Baby Bump Courtland Rogers
    Randy Bobandy
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not a baby, it’s just a cheeseburger…

  13. Audrey

    crack bloat

  14. There appears to be nothing more disgusting than a crackhead pretending she’s hot. Did i say disgusting? I meant pitiful AND ugly.

  15. kery

    she lost weight , didn’t she? jenelle was fat last year ;D

  16. Some people should not be allowed to procreate.

  17. How ironic that white , teen moms are all the rage but when the black girls get knocked up in heir early teens it is an abomination. Meh!

  18. I was looking at her picture and I got this wierd feeling. I was like, “fuck it, I am now pro abortion.” But……this picture also reafirmed my love of guns too. SO it was wierd..

  19. Jenelle Evans Pregnant Baby Bump Courtland Rogers
    Laura
    Commented on this photo:

    hehe, Randy. I was just gonna say that too:
    “That ain’t no baby, that’s a Taco Bell baby!”

  20. Jenelle Evans Pregnant Baby Bump Courtland Rogers
    sminkypinky
    Commented on this photo:

    You can see by how much weight she has lost that she is on the hillbilly slimming pill ..METH!!!

  21. Jenelle Evans Pregnant Baby Bump Courtland Rogers
    Commented on this photo:

    Keep smiling douchebags. You want reproduce? We’ll just unleash a driving Lohan on you.

  22. Jenelle Evans Pregnant Baby Bump Courtland Rogers
    Commented on this photo:

    So K-fed knocked this kid up?

    Classic.

  23. Jenelle Evans Pregnant Baby Bump Courtland Rogers
    disillusionisreal
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s getting methface….

  24. Jenelle Evans Pregnant Baby Bump Courtland Rogers
    bernard
    Commented on this photo:

    a couple more bruises and a few less teeth and she’ll look like a carney….

  25. Jenelle Evans Pregnant Baby Bump Courtland Rogers
    luckylue
    Commented on this photo:

    Jenelle, Your going to force your mom to buy a bigger house….

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