‘Teen Mom’ Jenelle Got Engaged To That Dude She Publicly Claimed Beat Her. Of Course.

May 17th, 2012 // 50 Comments

According to Us Weekly, Teen Mom Jenelle Evans has announced she’s engaged to boyfriend Gary Head who, and I’m trying to remember all this correctly even though I actively tried to avoid most of this information, she openly accused on Facebook of beating her because she was hanging out with her ex Kieffer who, after getting back with Gary and claiming she lied about all that abuse stuff, she may or may not have let take before-and-after naked pics of her new implants and sell them to the tabloids just a week ago. So basically all the foundations for a strong marriage are here. Or am I thinking of a meth lab fire? Eh, tom-ay-to, tom-ah-to.

Photos: INFdaily, Raef-Ramirez/AKM-GSI

superficial

  1. USDA Prime McBeef

    Goddamn, I love women with low self esteem.

    Actually not, get a fucking backbone, ya dumb bitch. You are dragging your entire gender back down into the hole some of them are trying to climb out of.

    • kimmykimkim

      Perfection. Thank you.

      • USDA Prime McBeef

        i know right? the programmer that developed the McBeef Comment Bot™ wrote a couple lines of code that are different from the misogynistic assfuck commands that everybody knows and loves. Just to mix shit up a little.

  2. whiskeyafternoon

    when I see a guy like that in a bar, I know there will be fisticuffs later in the evening between him and his drunken ‘brahs’

  3. EricLr

    I see a bright future for these kids.

  4. edod

    Way to go dude you scored some seriously stunted, potato bodied, nastiness. You look so proud. ppphhhhhhahahahahahahaahahaha.

    • EricLr

      Hey don’t run her down. She’s got a lot going for her. In addition to her potato body, she also has someone else’s kid, an old boyfriend who still hangs around, a criminal record that makes her unemployable, and paparazzi following her everywhere.

  5. Colin

    At least if she gets married to him, she might change her last name to Head, which I would say describes her well, but most of these Teen Mom types look like they skipped that step and went straight to anal.

  6. Confusus

    Obviously that picture was taken before her recent implants.

  7. Johnny P!

    I guess it would make sense to say she’s doing it for the publicity, photo ops, ratings, etc. She can always get a quickie divorce later, right?
    (Right, Kim?)
    But I’m guessing even if she hadn’t landed a spot on Teen Mom and remained a total unknown, she would have married the douche who beat her anyway. That’s how white trash operates.
    The only difference between Her next 9-11 “help, I’ve been beaten!” call and the unknown idiot trash girls’ is that hers will be broadcast on TMZ.

  8. He hits me because he loves me!

    • damien

      or maybe she lied because she loved him or maybe it never happened and she just wanted to get revenge….they deserve each other either way

  9. He’s got a very gary head. And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.

  10. I’m still not convinced that beatings don’t cure stupidity. Let the experiment continue!

  11. Cher X

    I imagine this is going on in the pic:

    HIM: “Yeah I’m a homeboy wanna be, straight outta the subarbs yo and I keep my pimp hand STRONG.”

    HER: “I’m going to change him! Tee Hee!”

  12. “she may or may not have let take naked before-and-after naked pics”

    I’m confused. So he took pictures of her naked before the implants and clothed with implants? Or was he naked while taking pictures of her naked?

  13. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    Commented on this photo:

    You can puts tits on a turd……

  14. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Brass monkey, that chunky monkey.

  15. damien

    women dont lie about abuse or rape so it must be true……i made a funny……they deserve each other

  16. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    Quijibo
    Commented on this photo:

    Hold it out further…a LOT further.

  17. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    johnny
    Commented on this photo:

    i guess breast implants are supposed to hide the fact she gained 30 lbs. probably pre wedding gitters

  18. LordAtama

    Look, I like thick chicks but she’s built like a football player.

  19. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    Right on
    Commented on this photo:

    Ughh nice red high tops. Why are her boobs so high?

  20. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    Right on
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s sexy and you know it! Check cankels out!!! The vomit is burning my throat

  21. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    Humpinfrog
    Commented on this photo:

    Stretch marks on a child, always a selling point for MTV.

  22. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    Boing
    Commented on this photo:

    nice dick.

  23. Mike

    Why are we giving the Teen Moms attention again?

  24. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    laura
    Commented on this photo:

    she fat

  25. Rocki

    Lmao seriously? This the funniest shit ever! You been with this guy for five months on and off and decide to get engaged?! Oh this marriage is going to be awesome! *Sarcasm* lmao NOT you guys cant even last 5 months without breaking ip so wtf makes you think you can last in a marriage? Lmao dumbass need to be worrying about her son instead of dating all these useless guys!

  26. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    Rocki
    Commented on this photo:

    Lmao seriously? This the funniest shit ever! You been with this guy for five months on and off and decide to get engaged?! Oh this marriage is going to be awesome! *Sarcasm* lmao NOT you guys cant even last 5 months without breaking ip so wtf makes you think you can last in a marriage? Lmao dumbass need to be worrying about her son instead of dating all these useless guys!

  27. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    redneck
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘i gon’ got ma boobs did’

  28. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    Anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Instead of getting breast implants she should of used that money for trying to get her son back or giving it to her mom for taking care of her son. Low life!!!!

  29. Bootology

    Sorry for getting all serious for but a moment…

    At what point did everybody-younger-than-I stop differentiating between good and bad attention?

  30. If it wasn’t for this site, I wouldn’t know who the fuck she is, becasue I refuse to use my precious electricity to watch MTV. Where do they find these assholes?

  31. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    luzmorales
    Commented on this photo:

    A boob with new boobs- the pic must have been at Redundo Beach-

  32. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that she actually has a chest, she needs to lose 30 pounds and learn to shut her filthy mouth and legs and be an actual Mother to her son. Take that money she makes and spend it on her kid and give her Mother a break, her Mother already did her job, raise your own kid you IDIOT…

  33. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    Dr. Ike
    Commented on this photo:

    I would consider allowing her to wipe my butt for me on a slow day but that’s about it.

  34. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    Jade
    Commented on this photo:

    She actually looks fat

  35. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    Brit Tit Lover
    Commented on this photo:

    cracks me up that she is so gorgeous and all the haters act like she isnt twice as good looking as your girlfriends

  36. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    Commented on this photo:

    I would love to bury my face and my cock between those boobs. Then I would bend her over a desk, looking at her face writhing in extasy in the mirror.

    Any man would be lucky to have this woman in his bed!

  37. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    Commented on this photo:

    I haven’t seen her show, but I bet she says “y’all” a lot.

  38. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    At least there are 40 pictures of this

  39. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    richie
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, hi Miss Shapin.

  40. Jenelle Evans Breast Implants Bikini Teen Mom
    Edvard Munch
    Commented on this photo:

    Who fucks this?

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