Teen Mom Farrah Should’ve Aborted Her Single

Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham had to keep her teen baby because it was her gravy train, but there’s no reason she couldn’t have vacuumed out her single, “Finally Getting up From Rock Bottom,” before inflicting it on innocent people. Here she is describing her creative process to In Touch which surprisingly doesn’t include the words, “And then I just started yelling a bunch of shit into AutoTune until my hour was up.”

Farrah — who speaks candidly with Jordi about her desolation in the wake of the death of her estranged boyfriend, Derek Underwood, and the birth of their daughter, Sophia, now 3, in this week’s issue — says the song is about going inside and really digging deep in order to find the strength to climb out of the hole she’d found herself in.
Explains Farrah, “After almost wanting to kill myself, I found meaning and happiness within.”

And by meaning and happiness within, she means she bought huge fake breasts the second her MTV check cleared. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, I wish more young girls were this frank and honest and not happy unless they have giant tits as soon as they turn 18. Unless, of course, that results in singles like the one below. In which case, I hope they instantly die of cervical cancer while their moms stands over their lifeless bodies going, “I built an apartment for you and you bitched about the paint job? I’ll fucking kill you! Oh, right.”

Photos: Splash News