Teen Mom Farrah’s ‘Sex Tape’ Has A Trailer Because It’s A Porno She Purposefully Made For Money

May 6th, 2013 // 78 Comments
'It's Like A Wedding Video!'
Farrah Abraham Bikini
'Except I Get Plowed By A Porn Star' Read More »

While I was on vacation last week, Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham signed a deal with Vivid to release her sex tape, and by signed a deal I mean they all pretended she got paid a million dollars for a professional porno she already got paid for acting in as a porn star. So if you’re willing to accept that bullshit angle, here’s Vivid’s official trailer because everyone’s private, intimate sexual encounters include glamour shots now:

“Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom” Vivid.com Exclusive Preview (NSFW)

Or you can skip that and go directly to the extremely NSFW clip over on DrunkenStepfather where you’ll immediately notice that there’s no way in hell this thing was shot “like a wedding video” because it’s a straight-up, hardcore porno. There’s literally no denying it after seeing all the squirting and glass dildos (Yup.), so I hope her dad feels really awesome now about bringing his three-year-old granddaughter to fake negotiations at a porn studio. I’m sure it’s what Jesus would’ve done. “Alright, sweetie, sit here and draw a nice picture of Noah’s Ark while grampa helps mommy lie to millions of people about giving grown-up hugs for money. It’ll be good practice for when you turn 18 because, ‘Keeping the baby is the right thing to do,’ I just had to say. Stupid…

Photos: Splash News


  1. The Most Interesting

    Everyone knows you *never* go backdoor on the first shoot!

    You save that for the sequel!

  2. What’s the law on 64th trimester abortions?

  3. Plurp

    She squirts! Shame about the frankentits.

  4. I think I just heard her mom hit the floor.

  5. Tits n slits! Aaaaa my eyes are burning. I feel so dirty.

  6. So I thought Fish was just making a joke when he referred to it as “Backdoor Teen Mom”

    Hey, that’s one way to not get pregnant.

  7. This chick is so fucking sad. Desperate attention whore. I feel for Deen having to listen to her annoying fucking voice the whole time.

    It is hilarious listening to this dumb bitch talk. She is so arrogant and she actually believes she is smart and not the dumb box of bricks that she actually is.

  8. Nasty Butler

    This would be a lot more interesting without the quickcrete bolt on tits she got. She will have another one in less than a year.

  9. cc

    She sold her dignity for a mere million dollars?

  10. marvin

    Unatrractive AND stupid. Awesome combo.

  11. A trailer trash idiot making trailer trash idiot decisions. So she’s like a third of the folks I went to high school with minus the cameras.

  12. I’m impressed that she’s a squirter. Then again, James Deen usually makes his girls squirt, even the ones that didn’t know they could. I’m surprised that he was able to that with his small penis, I’m sure Farrah feels the same way.

    She might be pretty stupid, but she does have a rocking body. I’m glad she decided to put it to good use.

    • Deacon Jones

      She certainly looks like she knows how to fukk. I mean…she took that d!ldo up her butt without even wincing…

      Girls like that are so, so fun for about 2, 3 months. And then you start actually listening to them talk and its like Chinese water torture.

      • LOL! That’s when you drop them. Especially ones like this who don’t know how to use birth control. She can go on to a good career in porn if she drops the pretense and embraces it.

      • Cock Dr

        With some people you have to drill hard & deep butt EVERYONE has hidden talents.
        At last Farrah seems to have found a profitable and fun career path.

      • James Deen looks like he driller her hard and deep in this video. The man’s a pro.

      • Deacon Jones

        …Or you could do what I did, which was date one for a year, *then* try dumping them, and have her jump through your open window in your car while you’re driving away, push her head out the window, then have her jump in her car drunk, clip two cars, and follow you back home doing 90 mph, then proceed to have a manic breakdown on your parent’s back porch..

      • Lol, that’s pretty crazy. I don’t suggest that route.

      • Deacon, was that the one who was trying to get pregnant, and you didn’t know?

  13. cornbread

    I’m pretty sure the term ” magic pussy wand” appears in only the classiest wedding videos.

  14. Farrah Abraham Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    shes a slut….glad i saw her naked sucking and fucking

  15. Just watched a 5 min clip of it on one of the other sites and as expected it is pretty terrible. She is average and her voice and personality just ruin it.

  16. Yeah, guys – I’m gonna go ahead and endorse this whole-cockedly. I mean, we all know we’re going to fap to this, so why not encourage a smart career move?
    Anal AND squirting on her first scene, come on! What’s not to love? Just ignore the babble and focus on what’s happening on screen. Fish knows Roger would’ve wanted it like this…

  17. arealcad

    OK, she squirts and takes it in the ass, but does she take a facial or is she a cum dodger?

  18. So, uh, Farrah’s dad, if your buddies cancel poker night one of these weeks, I bet they’re getting together without you.

  19. DeucePickle

    All chicks can squirt, they have to just let go and let it happen.

  20. Joe Blow

    Wow… less than 10 minutes in and she takes it up her corn chute…

  21. Mstakenj

    It’s officially time to mourn for America. I can’t even snark on this. Up til now I thought everyone knew KK Superstar was a pathetic morally bankrupt harpy-idiot. But here is this clearly s-l-o-w chick who is willingly being sodomized by a pornographic slut-male on film for a few lousy dollars that she will no doubt blow on Coach purses and Jessica Simpson shoes, and within five yrs will be on welfare. Wait–maybe this IS the new American Dream.

  22. Jon Pork

    I see the 5 minute version everywhere. Where’s the full one?

  23. Meh. With the internet overflowing with free porn, I’m sure the hell not going to part with a dollar for that.

  24. I hope the sequel includes a hefty length of duct tape and a fake Persian rug.

  25. GodDAMN those fake tits. Otherwise I think she’s truly fuckable. I’ll be sure to take an extra pair of socks to stuff in her pie hole to shut her up.

  26. Cali red

    “Look at that mama, she got it stickin in the camera
    Man we could have some fun”

    I guess MTV is still “money for nothing.”

  27. Matt

    She received a decent facial, he blasted both of her eyes!

  28. Kim K’s kid: “Your mom does porn!”
    Farrah’s kid:”So does your mom!”
    Kim K’s kid:”Wanna hang out?”
    Farrah’s kid:”Okay.”

  29. Wheres the barf bag!!

  30. Rob

    Ya know, you guys are mean. If no one knew who she was before hand, everyone would just see her video, call her a slut, say her voice was annoying, and then blow one into a sock and go about their business keeping those opinoons to themselves. But just because she was on teen mom everyone has to run out and slam her on the internet. Well have some god damned sympothy people, there’s a guy out there who actually has to read these comments for a living and I’m sure that he doesn’t feel like putting down his microwave burrito to read over 50 comments about some dirty whore. I mean, yes A dirty whore but probably not this specific dirty whore. So let’s remember the victims here, the men and women with the noble task of running websites like the Superficial. What would we do without them?

  31. Farrah Abraham Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Plastic boobies look awful..is it even comfortable to have two footballs under the skin on your chest?

    Nothing says “natural” like boob skin pulled to its limit to the point where its glossy and two hard looking lumps that have about as much mobility and softness as a pair of knees.

  32. Farrah Abraham Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    “Damn… I can’t see my career ANYWHERE..”

  33. Farrah Abraham Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    10 minutes and counting, 5 minutes to go

  34. Farrah Abraham Bikini
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Charlie Sheen wants her to be a goddess? And what is she gonna do with her daughter whilst she and Sheen ass-fuck? Leave her with Denise Richards?

  35. Farrah Abraham Bikini
    A Gawker
    Commented on this photo:

    Them boobs are really fake. What a surprise

  36. Farrah Abraham Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    call me I need to talk to you.

  37. Farrah Abraham Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    How sad is it when you’re a 3rd rate Kim Kardashian?

  38. Farrah Abraham Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    No worries, a-t-m breath! The Kardashians need a new story line for Fat Rob, and its not like they can look down on a porn star in the family. And, you haven’t even been tinkled on yet, which will give you the “class” they’ve been looking for. Or, maybe you and Bruce can do a young-old lesbian scene.

  39. Farrah Abraham Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    MTV rejecting Farrah Abraham is like when Doctor Frankenstein rejected his monster.

    • It’s like a drug dealer refusing to sell his smack to a junkie.

      It’s like Kris Jenner refusing to pimp one of her daughters.

      It’s like Michael and Dina Lohan refusing to live off LiLo.

      … Anyone else wants to keep this going?

  40. Farrah Abraham Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    When did MTV start having morals and standards?

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