Teen Mom Farrah Wants You To Believe Her ‘Sex Tape’ Was The Only Time She’s Had Sex In A Year

By: The Superficial / May 8, 2013

Now that 95% of the Internet has seen at least some sort of clip from Teen Mom Farrah’s “sex tape,” it’s now abundantly clear this thing was a professionally shot, by-the-numbers, hardcore adult film and there was absolutely nothing private or intimate about it. (Okay, maybe the squirting.) To put things in perspective, you could show it to an Amish person and even they’d go, “Oh, Jebediah, that’s a porno.” So naturally none of this has deterred Farrah from still pretending it’s a leaked sex tape ala Kim Kardashian who at least had the wherewithal to not shoot hers in HD with cameramen and a boom mic. In fact, here’s Farrah’s latest bullshit that she tweeted yesterday:

Sure it was. Again, if you’ve seen even a few seconds of this thing, there’s no way this is a chick who’s only had sex once in the past year. Granted, it is like riding a bike, cramming a dildo up your ass and carrying around lube to have anal with a man you just met usually isn’t a sign of a chaste virgin. Or is that what happens when you don’t show a woman your action figures on the first date? All I’m saying is I don’t pose those things perfectly for my health. Anyway, below is Farrah talking to Entertainment Tonight about her porno being a sign of her super-strong femininity now because sticking to one story is super hard, you guys. You don’t even know.

 

NOTE: If you want to hear me say “like” too many times and go way overboard on how I would’ve raised Farrah – In my defense, have you seen her talk to her mom on the show? There’d still be a wooden spoon lodged in my face if I did that. – here’s my quest spot on Never Daunted Radio last night which you’re gonna want to listen to with headphones.

Photos: Vivid.com/Pacific Coast News