Teen Mom Jenelle Actually Made The World A Better Place. What The Hell Just Happened?

January 30th, 2013 // 46 Comments
MTV, Let's Have A Talk
Teen Mom Jenelle Evans Gary Head

Within the span of just one week, Teen Mom Jenelle Evans managed to sell the following stories to Radar/Star/National Enquirer (All the same company.):

- She’s pregnant.
- She’s getting a divorce.
- She’s having a miscarriage.
- She’s getting back with her ex that allegedly beat her because her current husband allegedly beats her.

And some, if not all of these things might not have even happened, but they sounded entirely believable because she’s retarded white trash from the south which we know thanks to MTV turning her into a reality star. A move that it now regrets which I didn’t even think was possible, so clearly a comet’s heading towards the Earth and only MTV knows about it. E! News reports:

Has Jenelle Evans recent drama gotten to be too much to handle, even for MTV.
TBD. Multiple sources tell E! News that Teen Mom 2 is “definitely on its way out,” but MTV isn’t confirming that—yet.

Another insider told E! News, that Jenelle, who earlier this month filed assault charges against husband Courtland Rogers and suffered a miscarriage, is “too much of a liability.”
“The way she’s going, she could literally die and MTV will be blamed for it,” the insider adds. “They should have just taken away all her Twitters and Facebooks. Whatever.”

You read all that right. A reality star on MTV was somehow too much of an attention whore that even MTV went, “Whoa, we need to shut this attention whoring down,” then made a smart and responsible decision to cancel Teen Mom albeit way, way, way too many seasons too late. I’m talking whoever came in with the pitch for 16 and Pregnant should’ve been shot at the door and had his/her carcass paraded around town for villagers to beat with a stick. You have to fight evil with evil.

Photos: Twitter


  1. MushyFrog

    Whatever asshat walked into MTV with the pitch for Real World & Road Eules is to blame! They just fueled the fire that everyone is fodder for a television show.

  2. YouAreAllAssholes

    She’s not an “attention-whore”. She has a mental illness.

    She has untreated bipolar disorder. Even though this is a stupid blog that says stupid insensitive shit all the time, I wish the world weren’t so permeated with easy holier-than-thou judgements of those who suffer from a painful heart-breaking illness.

    It’s like telling someone with Type I diabetes to kill themselves.

    • Janelle, you’re not fooling anyone. Now go cut yourself.

    • Enidaj

      You realize where you are, right?

    • In our day and age where everything is a syndrome, or disorder or handicap, it’s kinda hard not to end up mocking some medical condition or other.

      Oh, by the way, your username offends me… I have an undiagnosed emotional disassociative disorder whereby I don’t give a shit about people, so because it’s a medical condition, you’re not allowed to criticize me.

    • Juch

      People with Type I diabetes are underachievers. They need to focus up, get a game plan together, and work their way up to Type II diabetes!

    • JC

      I’m really sad I know this, but didn’t she diagnose herself, via Twitter? Because “giving excuses from Dr. Phil for why I’m a stupid asshole” and “mental illness diagnosed by a doctor” are not the same thing.

    • JC

      And another thing: If she does have bipolar disorder and, presumably, no insurance, maybe it would have been a good idea to take some of that MTV money and use it for mental health treatment instead of, oh, I don’t know, Ke$ha tickets and fake tits?

    • Arlene

      Why thanks for the diagnosis, Doctor. Like Iveski pointed out, there seems to be a lot of that going around these days. Isn’t bipolar disorder the new ADD? Morons like you are why pharmaceutical companies have gotten so rich. Riddlen, xanax, not to mention our old extinct buddy fenn-fenn, which was nothing more than high octane speed.

      It’s almost like mental disorders have become religion.

      The fact of the matter is, some people are just illiterate assholes that refuse to educate themselves and act with a bit of responsibility. No, it’s not a form of bipolar disorder, or ADD, or OCD, or asburgers (I hear that’s the new cool disorder on the horizon), it’s just somebody that makes piss poor decisions in life.

      • Juch

        Mental disorders are the new “free pass” to do whatever you want, with no consequences. After all, if its not my fault, its not my responsibility, right?

      • “Some people are just illiterate assholes that refuse to educate themselves”—says the person who just typed “riddlen,” “fenn-fenn,” and “asburgers.”

      • Arlene

        Jesus Christ, they’re grammatical errors. That isn’t being illiterate. Come up with a better comeback, asshole.

      • derp

        Those are spelling errors, not grammatical errors, you illiterate fuck. Therefore, your comeback is moot and ignorant. Go back to 5th grade and return when you can spell worth a shit.

    • If she knows she has bipolar disorder and doesn’t treat it, that makes her an asshole. And you an asshole for sticking up for her.

    • Shut the fuck up with that bullshit, Dr. Dunce. Like Iveski said every fucking bad behaviour these asshole display is somehow a “mental disease”. That’s just a cop out created by Hollywood’s lawyers to help their clients get away with anything they want to.

      If it was just some random dude on the street doing the bullshit these celebs get away with on the regular, he would be in jail after the first offense.

      Jenelle’s an asshole who makes shitty decisions. Deal with it. It’s nobody’s fault but her own.

  3. No more Teen Mom 2?!?!? Fuck that!!

    Now what the hell am I going to do for ENTERTAINMENT????

    • Rapsutin's Evil Twin

      Well, Grigori and I like to go to a bad curve and hill on the local road on very cold winter days, hose it down, let it freeze, and watch the car wrecks while washing popcorn down with vodka. It’s pretty much the same as watching any “reality” show. Come join us – we’re thinking of doing the same thing to train tracks.

    • go to a gun show.
      just keep ur head down.

  4. mel

    if she were to die on camera(!) i’d definitely want to know about it before it aired so that i could record the triumph over evil and watch it over and over (or whenever i’m feeling down). her death will be celebrated with joyful exhuberance.

  5. Is it just possible that, having sold contradictory stories to a gossip-mongering press only too ready to peddle the latest shocker, this girl is successfully gaming the system and turning her fifteen minutes into as much cash as she can get, making her … a kind of genius?


  6. I was actually glad when the show first started. I thought it was a great opportunity to show teenagers how unglamourous being a teen mom is, especially with Farrah and how she said she’d be working out all the time because she didn’t want to be fat for her senior pictures, to which her mother replied, yeah right. This is your kid, you’re taking care of it, not me. Reality seemed to crash in on that girl. And the couple who gave their kid up for adoption despite the braindead parents insisting all they needed was love.

    It all went to hell when the girls spent their money on boobjobs and shit. Then other girls just saw it as a payday and ignored all the clear evidence for how much being a teen mom sucks. And so it goes.

  7. tlmck

    - She’s pregnant.
    - She’s getting a divorce.
    - She’s having a miscarriage.
    - She’s getting back with her ex that allegedly beat her because her current husband allegedly beats her.

    Guess it must all be true, because you can’t just make this stuff up. Oh wait…

  8. kery

    Don’t bother her , she is a young girl who doesn’t know what to do with her life like many people outside …;)

  9. Bob

    I’d nut in it

  10. lkl

    What an idea, follow a 16 year old girl who gets knocked up and call it entertainment. Who think of this stuff?

  11. GAGA

    Useful info. Fortunate me I discovered your web site unintentionally, and I’m surprised why this twist of fate did not took place earlier! I bookmarked it.

  12. Jenelle Evans Pregnant Baby Bump Courtland Rogers
    Commented on this photo:

    Jenelle, Your going to force your mom to buy a bigger house….

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