Taylor Swift Wants To Marry Tom Hiddleston Already

Now that we’re past the “Taylor Swift is a whore for having the gall to date a new man without adhering to a Puritanical waiting period” phase, it’s time to move on to the “she totally wants to get married” part because who doesn’t love predictability? Says the sucker who watches every single comic book movie as soon as it hits the theater. E! News reports:

“Taylor was hesitant to get involved so quickly after Adam,” notes an insider, “but she she felt that Adam was not giving her what she wanted for sometime so she was ready to move on towards the tail end of their relationship anyway.”
But when Taylor met the Thor star, “there was an immediate attraction,” says a source. “She felt like she was a little school girl with a huge crush. She loves the fact that Tom acts like such a mature man. She lives that he is older. She feels very safe and protected with him. The attraction is very strong.”

“Tom wants to be with Taylor,” says the insider. The twosome are “already very attached” and “text all the time.” Plus, according to a source, “Taylor said she thinks he is the one, as odd and new as it sounds.”

To make things even more fun, Tom Hiddleston is probably going to be the next James Bond, which is a role that’s 800% about international sport-fucking, and some shit about spying, so there’s no way that doesn’t go awesome. Just super, super awesome.

“Wait. How many women are you fucking in this movie?”
“All of them?”
“Oh, I see.”
“I’m sorry, darling, does that upset you?”
“No, it’s fine. It’s your job.”
“It’s just acting. Now, what should we get for supper?”
“Whatever you want.”

And the knives are out…

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Photo: W Magazine