Tara Reid Married a Different Idiot

Early this morning, reports poured in that Tara Reid had married Danish businessman Michael Lilleund. Or at least that’s what most media outlets assumed considering he was the last man to be seen with her, and her capacity for finding a new mate has to be rapidly crumbling like the Bondo keeping her ass cheeks attached. However, to protect his country’s delicious pastry reputation, Michael has since set the record straight in Danish newspapers (Thanks, Sarah.) and made it clear he hasn’t seen Tara since February which means he still fucked her. In Japan, a man would be honor-bound to cut his own stomach open for something like that, but I digress.

So who did Tara marry in Greece? Some random douche named Zack Kehayov. I say douche without even knowing who this guy is because he married Tara Reid, so I can pretty much call him whatever I want at that point. He’s more junkie starfucker than man now, twisted and evil…

Photos: Splash News