Tara Reid’s Bikini: Your Ticket To BonerTown

July 10th, 2012 // 58 Comments

Tara Reid‘s stomach looks like a giant clay vagina smooshed on top of a football, but you’ll notice that hasn’t stopped her from wearing a bikini and/or finding a man to have sex with her. Mostly because she’s a drunk and I know dudes who would bang a Hot Pocket, so really this post isn’t as mysterious as I made it out to be. Although it is scarier than Nancy Grace‘s face, and I don’t think anyone saw that coming, so let’s file this one under SHYMALAN’D.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin

superficial

  1. Dick Hell

    Here’s a tip, let those Hot Pockets cool for a few minutes before you fuck ‘em. Now, where’s my aloe vera?

  2. Urvag

    Do you think her new man gets sudden cravings for beef jerky every time he looks at her stomach?

  3. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    Mr Smap Beav Sr
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, I can still smell the booze and your cum on my breath

  4. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    LJ
    Commented on this photo:

    In the dark, with blackout curtains on the windows it would still probably take a fifth of Jack Daniels and 20mg of Viagra.

  5. YTBOY

    Man SHE IS HOT!!!!!

    • fuckityfuck

      yeah? if I didn’t know better I would think someone photo shopped her face over my great grandmothers body

  6. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if he is going to pop that zit when she is finished rubbing him down.

  7. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah-ha! She just asked him to use his teeth on that zit.

  8. DeucePickle

    I’d like a refund on my ticket to Boner Town.

  9. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    Commented on this photo:

    It you squint and look at her stomach you can see E.T.

  10. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    flimflam
    Commented on this photo:

    You must be a young man LJ. My weiner is doing a turtle impression when I look at her.

  11. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like that remedial tummy tuck surgery done with silly putty is melting again.

  12. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    Doctor_Joystick
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know Wookies wore sunglasses.

    • Fester Bestertester

      He’s facing Tara in a bikini and smiling… those aren’t sunglasses they’re blinders.

    • Vikki

      Men often grow hair on their bodies during and after puberty. But since you usually look at young boys, you wouldn’t really know much about that.

  13. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    jason
    Commented on this photo:

    such a shame she ruined her stomach

  14. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    Maury Povich
    Commented on this photo:

    I sure hope that’s sand on her ass.

  15. SeeAlice

    Is all that damage from plastic surgery gone a awry ?

  16. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    Commented on this photo:

    Willem: “Vat do you sink, Jacques?”
    Jacques: “Hmm, I sink I cannot explain zis woman’s body. But what do I know, I am only, how you say, a medical doctor?”
    Willem: “I vill keep feeding her the vodka then, yes?”
    Tara: “English, please! All I heard was ‘blah, blah, blah, vodka.’ Now, where is the vodka?”

  17. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    Commented on this photo:

    That tummy looks worse than Sharon Stone’s.

  18. El Jefe

    I would. I would not be proud, but I would. Actually I would just tell people I banged her when she did American Pie. Would it be a lie, yeah sort of, but if anyone found out I would just say I got American Pie and American Reunion mixed up.

  19. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    Just give up and get Hillary Duff fat. It can’t be any worse than this.

  20. Emma Watson's Vagina

    who the fuck gave Gollum tits and blonde hair?

  21. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    These pictures prove that even seagulls can be discriminating about the carrion they eat.

  22. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s caught a furry one this time.
    Try the wedding story scam again; see if she can get another easy payout from the ever gullible tabloids.

  23. SkyGod2.0

    “Shwing” said the blind man as he felt up his monitor.

  24. Josh

    Article title should have been:
    “Tara Reid’s Bikini: Your Ticket OUT OF BonerTown”

  25. ET, go home.

    That belly reminds me of ET’s belly.

  26. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    vgrly
    Commented on this photo:

    Her tummy looks like play dough. Dried up play dough.

  27. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    vgrly
    Commented on this photo:

    cellulite sees no bounderies. Even existing on a washed up anorexic has been.

  28. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    JCmfM
    Commented on this photo:

    It seriously looks like he used the “hair in a can” spray to coat on that patch of chest “fur”.

  29. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Girl, you just made them Daisy Dukes into Daisy Donts! Oh, snap! [moves head in circle on shoulders]

  30. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    This reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld (remember Seinfeld?!) where Jerry and George mocked a girl’s stomach. Now every time I see Tara Reid, I’ll hear “Hellooooo!” in my head.

  31. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Why yes, that IS the accordeon I’m playing with my stomach!

  32. Tara, Tara, Tara…a perfect example of potential leading to disgrace.

  33. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    So how does this work again Tara? You pay me and I prtend to be attracted?

  34. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s the hot girl? No, not Tara, I said the HOT girl?

  35. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    anonym
    Commented on this photo:

    WHERE THE FUCK is she getting the money to not have to work and lay on a beach all day?

    where the fuck ?!

  36. joho777

    Tara Reid is bone thin with plastic tits with a fat stomach. Tell me again what makes her famous?

  37. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    ohwhatthehell
    Commented on this photo:

    E.T. phone home

  38. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    lily
    Commented on this photo:

    hard to believe this is the same girl from american pie. she really did a number on her body. i still think she has a cute face though

  39. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    lily
    Commented on this photo:

    oh boy…not a healthy look

  40. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    Commented on this photo:

    I would still fuck the shit out of her. Her stomach’s not that bad. Nowhere near as bad as Nancy Grace’s face.

  41. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    Chet
    Commented on this photo:

    One of the worst botcharoonies in hollywood cosmetic surgery history. Cautionary tale, people. Hot girls should just stay away from the knife and age naturally.

  42. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    Kitty
    Commented on this photo:

    she should never of had that tummy tuck, it did NOTHING for her it would have been more natural her ‘roll’s if she didn’t and it wouldnt’ be so… ugh weird? womens rolls are usually around the belly button and under, not pushed up over the ribcage… and she didn’t even have KIDS!

  43. Glass

    One word: Liquorshits. I bet she has them every morning.

  44. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    fvalen001
    Commented on this photo:

    She reminds of that monster in “Pans Labyrinth”, that had eyes in it’s hands, and ate small children.

  45. Tara Reid Bikini New Boyfriend Joshua Darval
    David
    Commented on this photo:

    Tara is very beautiful always has been always will be yall can all fuck yourselfs and leave tara alone

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