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That Last 40 Minutes Yo: A Review of ‘Rogue One’

The Superficial review of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. More »


Right In DC’s Butthole: A Review Of ‘Captain America: Civil War’

Captain America: Civil War is *almost* the best of the Marvel movies. Oh shit, hot take! AWOOGA! (Can you tell I’ve been writing this for way too long? I wrote this for way too long.) More »


Eh, It Could’ve Been Worse: A Review of ‘Batman V Superman’

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice is a movie with Batman and Superman in it. How do you fuck that up? I’m glad you asked. More »


It’s ‘Van Wilder’ With Swords: A Review of ‘Deadpool’

I saw Deadpool in a packed theater last night like a goddamn guinea pig in a sardine can, so you better read this. More »


Holy Shit, It Worked: A Review of ‘Ant-Man’

I went and saw Ant-Man. Here are way too many words about it. More »


So Three Days Is An ‘Age’ Now? A Review of Avengers: Age of Ultron

The Superficial Review of ‘Avengers: Age of Ultron’ More »


Michael Bay Is The Antichrist: A Review of ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’

Last week, I missed a significant chunk of Guardians of The Galaxy thanks to pure death violently escaping my body. And yet what I did get to see in a fevered, anxious fugue was still light years beyond Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in every possible way. If Guardians was a throwback to classic 80s adventures… More »


Deveining Brett Ratner: A Review of ‘X-Men: Days of Future Past’

In the past eight hours since I left the theater, I’ve put way too much thought into X-Men: Days of Future Past which is something you never, ever want to do with an X-Men movie because, holy shit, do these things fall apart under the slightest bit of scrutiny. As for what I’ve been thinking… More »


Goddamn, I Need A Nerd-Cigarette: A Review of ‘Captain America: The Winter Soldier’

For the past few weeks, the advance word on Captain America: The Winter Soldier is that it’s as good as The Avengers if not the best Marvel movie to date. It even made curmudgeony ol’ fusspot Jeff Wells’ heart grow three sizes as it should have because the hype is real. Winter Soldier is the… More »


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