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Right In DC’s Butthole: A Review Of ‘Captain America: Civil War’

Captain America: Civil War is *almost* the best of the Marvel movies. Oh shit, hot take! AWOOGA! (Can you tell I’ve been writing this for way too long? I wrote this for way too long.) More »


Eh, It Could’ve Been Worse: A Review of ‘Batman V Superman’

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice is a movie with Batman and Superman in it. How do you fuck that up? I’m glad you asked. More »


It’s ‘Van Wilder’ With Swords: A Review of ‘Deadpool’

I saw Deadpool in a packed theater last night like a goddamn guinea pig in a sardine can, so you better read this. More »



Holy Shit, It Worked: A Review of ‘Ant-Man’

I went and saw Ant-Man. Here are way too many words about it. More »


So Three Days Is An ‘Age’ Now? A Review of Avengers: Age of Ultron

The Superficial Review of ‘Avengers: Age of Ultron’ More »


Michael Bay Is The Antichrist: A Review of ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’

Last week, I missed a significant chunk of Guardians of The Galaxy thanks to pure death violently escaping my body. And yet what I did get to see in a fevered, anxious fugue was still light years beyond Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in every possible way. If Guardians was a throwback to classic 80s adventures… More »



Deveining Brett Ratner: A Review of ‘X-Men: Days of Future Past’

In the past eight hours since I left the theater, I’ve put way too much thought into X-Men: Days of Future Past which is something you never, ever want to do with an X-Men movie because, holy shit, do these things fall apart under the slightest bit of scrutiny. As for what I’ve been thinking… More »


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