The last time we posted about Mischa Barton she looked remarkably decent in a bikini for someone who spent the past three years being a failure pile of cellulite and substance abuse. Except here she is yesterday where, well… at least she looks sober? I didn’t even once think there were drugs in that bag.
I’ll cut right to the chase: I’ve been off for the past three days and I need pageviews to make sure I never have to wear pants and/or physically interact with other human beings to make a living. So here’s Miley Cyrus, Jessica Alba, Rosie Huntington-Whitely, Jennifer Morrison and Maria Menounos all wearing bikinis over…
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- Matt Damon and Scarlett Johansson will not star in Mel Gibson’s next project. [Huffington Post]
- Steven Tyler is determined to die nestled comfortably in young vagina. [Dlisted]
- Hugh Jackman is enjoying a completely heterosexual family stroll during the final week of his Broadway show. Wait. [Lainey Gossip]
Here’s Mischa Barton posing with a raw steak in her mouth for photographer Tyler Shields who I’m starting to notice loves working with washed up drug addicts and probably for reasons exactly like this:
TYLER: Hey, Lindsay, wanna make 20 bu-
TYLER: Perfect. *wheels out Porta-John full of veal*
(Exactly like this.)
Here’s Mischa Barton at Heathrow airport yesterday because apparently she was only at Cannes for 24 hours at the request of Roberto Cavalli who also invited Courtney Love because he thinks he’s fucking hilarious. Which is why I think fashion is entirely bullshit. These “designers” have to be laughing their asses off behind closed doors.
Here’s Mischa Barton getting in her car outside of Bardot last night where a passerby decided to comment, “Look at that flabby ass,” only to receive a polite, “Intercourse yourself,” in return. So needless to say, this probably wasn’t the best night of Mischa’s life. Then again, we are talking about a person who managed…
Here’s Mischa Barton smoking up in St. Tropez yesterday and, listen, I’ve got absolutely nothing against pot. Smoke if you got ‘em. But can we maybe find somebody else to be the celebrity poster-child for marijuana use? I mean, sure, she’s on a yacht and it’s (theoretically) all so glamorous and exciting, but…
Here’s Mischa Barton defying the laws of physics with her pastel yellow pants yesterday because somehow her ass is literally four feet long. To put things in perspective, if I saw her legs hanging in a meat locker while Rocky punched them, I’d think I’m having that dream where I’m Burgess Meredith again. True story.
For anyone who cares, Mischa Barton is still out there like a poor man’s Lindsay Lohan, according to Page Six:
A spy reports that the “O.C.” actress, who alternates between being on and off the wagon, rolled into Bar Marmont on Saturday alone and looking “totally out of it.”
Says our witness, “A few minute…
Here’s Mischa Barton clearly smoking a roach while driving in LA yesterday. And in case you were wondering, this in fact the same Mischa Barton who got a DUI for driving high as shit a few years back and managed to make Lindsay Lohan even consider the concept of a “drug problem.” So basically the…
- George Clooney getting married? That’d be like Aquaman moving into a dryer. [PopEater]
- Taylor Lautner could be our next Tom Cruise. [Lainey Gossip]
- Mariah Carey also brought breasts to the Golden Globes. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Mo’Nique or Dwayne Johnson? You decide. [Celebslam]
- Julia Roberts vs. Billy Bush. [The Blemish]…
Mischa Barton is about to crazy her way out of a job, according to Page Six:
A source on the set of her CW show, “The Beautiful Life,” says Barton shows up to work so bleary some days that it holds up filming. One day, says a source, “she was getting snippy with the director…
- Matt Damon and Brad Pitt tell an Italian reporter George Clooney is gay. Nakedness ensues. [PopEater]
- Kate Hudson’s lack of breasts has its advantages. [Lainey Gossip]
- Jaleel White has an entourage who feel they’re entitled to things besides laughter and a high five from Reginald VelJohnson. [Celebslam]
- John Mayer still think…
- Larry King needs to admit he’s in an abusive relationship. Or is a pirate. Either one. [Celebslam]
- Jennifer Hudson gave birth to a baby boy. [PopEater]
- Kate Hudson is A-Rod’s personal cheerleader whose vagina isn’t a sarcophagus. That would probably make me do my job better, too. Just a tad. [Lainey Gossip]…
It’s pretty much a given that Mischa Barton’s excessive partying led to her mental breakdown a few weeks back. So it’s comforting to see her out drinking again and basically going batshit. Page Six reports:
Saturday night, Barton was spotted “having a disastrous dinner” with a group of girls at Sant Ambroeus in the West…
Mischa Barton’s 5150 hold was reportedly the result of a suicide attempt after being told she was fired from the upcoming CW drama The Beautiful Life, according to E! News:
Also, the insider asserts, the attempt may have coincided with Mischa’s bosses at the CW’s The Beautiful Life deciding they no longer desired her services.
- Jude Law knocked somebody up again making this Baby #4. He’s in your rearview, Jon Gosselin. [Lainey Gossip]
- Brad Pitt told People “his partying ends at 6 p.m.,” only to turn around and get shit-faced in Berlin until 2 a.m. with a mystery blonde. Somebody’s losing a penis. [PopEater]
- Bar Refaeli…
- Tyler Perry is sending 65 inner-city kids to Disney Land after their day-care was kicked out of a country club pool for changing the “complexion” and “atmosphere” of the club. No jokes, just a hats off. [PopEater]
- Marc Anthony is now a partial owner of the Miami Dolphins. His first order of business?
In the wake of Mischa Barton’s 5150 hold last week, it turns out Lindsay Lohan, who single-nosedly kept Colombia on the map during her entire working career, tried to warn her clubbing buddy that she was out of control. FOX 411 reports:
But last year, Lindsay walked away from the friendship after a messy Mischa…
Since she’s currently on 5150 hold after a mental breakdown this week, Mischa Barton missed the premiere of her new movie Homecoming Thursday night which did not sit well with producer Bingo Gubelmann. You just read that name. Us Magazine reports:
“It’s frustrating. And it’s not ideal,” Bingo Gubelmann told Usmagazine.com at the Thursday premiere.