Kirstie Alley


More Kirstie Alley stories

Kirstie Alley Hands Donald Trump The Batshit Xenu Vote

Kristie Alley is voting for Trump because she’s a woman. Okay. More »

The Great Scientology War Has Begun

“Your escort has chosen. Representing House Alley: Katniss Everdeen!”

With Leah Remini very publicly quitting Scientology last week, the church has been in a mad scramble considering it’s been widely revealed her reasons for leaving are, oh I dunno, being forced into re-education camps for five years after daring to ask Chancellor Supreme… More »

Kirstie Alley Probably Shouldn’t Have Lost All That Weight So Fast

Possibly motivated by a self-imposed dry spell after refusing to engage in “fat sex” (a.k.a. Every night of the week for this motherfucker. High five!), Kirstie Alley rapidly shed a dramatic 100 pounds presumably by using Scientology slave laborers to tunnel out all the cellulite so it can power an entire prison/pleasure yacht. Except she… More »

Kirstie Alley Refused To Have ‘Fat Sex’

An allegedly 100 pounds lighter Kirstie Alley is opening up about her dramatic weight loss and how it’s improved her sex life because fat people know having sex with them is freakish and unnatural yet still happens because men will stick their penis in anything. It’s our superpower. Via The Daily Mail:

The… More »

‘The Snozzberries Taste Like Snozzberries!’

Oompa Loompa, doopity doo,
I’ve got another story for you,
What do you get when you’re feeling depressed?
Turns out there’s an alien living in you,
How do I get him out of my chest?
You must buy an eMeter, you must buy an eMeter,
You must buy an…
More »

Kirstie Alley is Giving Anorexia a Shot

“Starting tomorrow. I mean, Friday. No, wait, after the holiday. — March 4, 2016.”

Following Monday’s Dancing With The Stars performance, Kirstie Alley, who apparently people think is thinner now, shared her new diet secret and claimed to be a size six rocketing toward a two, according to Extra:

Kirstie Alley… More »

Maksim Chmerkovskiy Drops Kirstie Alley on ‘Dancing With the Stars’

The laws of physic visited the set of Dancing With the Stars last night as Maksim Chmerkovskiy’s leg basically exploded while attempting to drag Kirstie Alley across the stage. If you watch the video after the jump, you can literally see the exact moment his body went, “You’re on your own, buddy.” This also led… More »

Kirstie Alley Was a Good Choice

Part of the deal of being a Dancing With The Stars contestant is striking sassy poses in front of the paparazzi as you leave your daily rehearsal with your dance partner. Which is something someone probably should’ve explained a little bit clearer to Kirstie Alley who looks like she’s about to birth sextuplets in the… More »

Eva Longoria is sportier than Mischa Barton

Eva Longoria has replaced Mischa Barton as the new face of Bebe Sport, because at least Eva pretends to work out as opposed to smoking pot all day. And for some reason they celebrated the announcement with Eva Longoria’s birthday. She cleans up real nice, but she looks more than a little insane… More »

Kirstie Alley is really skinny

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