Posts tagged "Jon Hamm"

Don’t Let Jon Hamm Near Your Balls With A Hammer

Jon Hamm used to be an asshole frat boy. That’s disappointing.

By: The Superficial / April 9, 2015

Jon Hamm’s Penis Went To Rehab

Apparently having a giant penis doesn’t prevent alcoholism, so great, now I’m screwed. Perfect. Just perfect.

By: The Superficial / March 25, 2015

Hugh Jackman’s Life Just Peaked

The last sound Jon Hamm heard was a distinct “SNIKT!” He doesn’t recall posing for the picture (They told him it was Hugh Jackman‘s birthday. It wasn’t.) or bleeding out all over George Stephanopoulos‘ shoes. In fact, he doesn’t remember much of anything on account of he’s dead. “Had his dick been just a tad…

By: The Superficial / May 8, 2014

Jon Hamm Called Justin Bieber A Shithead

Jon Hamm is the cover interview for the May issue of Men’s Fitness who I’ll just assume has a monthly feature called “Zen And The Art of Letting People See Your Dick.” Less importantly (You read that.), he takes a crack at Justin Bieber for being a stupid little shithead surrounded by yes men. Via…

By: The Superficial / April 21, 2014

Jon Hamm’s Penis Lost A Dating Show? Impossible

While Photo Boy and I were being intrepid online editors who took Friday off to watch Captain America and eat burritos, a 1996 episode of The Big Date went viral thanks to 25-year-old contestant Jon Hamm who somehow lost despite possessing the mythical hammer Hammbonejnir. Even more ridiculous, TMZ actually told the woman about the…

By: The Superficial / April 7, 2014

This Is January Jones At 9-Years-Old

Because little boys are easily fooled by candy or people with weird noses who own their own amusement parks, they have no idea why making fun of their classmates’ appearance is stupid because here’s January Jones at nine years old who, iciness aside, grew up to be pretty fucking hot. But that’s not the amazing…

By: The Superficial / February 24, 2014

That’s Jon Hamm’s Penis In Sweatpants

Just when you thought B-Bare was going to be the biggest swinging dick on the site today, here’s Jon Hamm taking a walk with his girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt who apparently likes to let him out of the house in sweatpants from time to time just so you bitches know. Just so you bitches know… and…

By: The Superficial / January 24, 2014

Jon Hamm Might Be Doctor Strange

Earlier in the week, Variety reported that Marvel wants Johnny Depp to play Doctor Strange which made sense financially considering he’s already owned by Disney, but was horrible news for anyone who doesn’t want to see The Sorcerer Supreme (What’s a vagina?) emote via drunken eyebrows. But now comes word that Jon Hamm might be…

By: The Superficial / January 16, 2014

Wait, Everyone On ‘Duck Dynasty’ Is Homophobic? My World Is A Lie!

Guys, you may want to sit down for this, I’ve got some pretty shocking news. You know that reality show Duck Dynasty? The one about the Christian, self-proclaimed rednecks who live in the backwoods of Louisiana and everyone at Walmart goes nuts about? Not a big fan of the gays. Crazy, right? I almost didn’t…

By: The Superficial / December 18, 2013

Jon Hamm’s Got Your Mighty Hammer Right Here

Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got Hammbone.

As hinted yesterday, Photo Boy and I are going on a date this morning to see Thor: The Dark World under the auspice of me writing a review about it. (Haha! I’m not a film critic.) So to tide over the readers who get routinely shafted -…

By: The Superficial / November 8, 2013

This Is The List For The New Batman Already

So forget Tyler Hoechlin. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Warner Bros. is going for a grizzled, older Batman to take on Henry Cavill‘s Superman, and the list is already getting out of control. So here’s everyone already being considered plus some from Lainey Gossip, Batman On Film and my own hopes and dreams. Although, before…

By: The Superficial / August 5, 2013

Jon Hamm Was On ‘Sesame Street’ And Other News

- Amanda Seyfried wants you to remember how big her breasts were on Veronica Mars. [Lainey Gossip]

- Ozzy Osbourne was just on a bender, did not get divorced. [Dlisted]

– Douchebags travel in packs. [theCHIVE]

- Selena Gomez is terrified of meeting other actors. [tooFab]

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By: The Superficial / April 17, 2013

Jon Hamm Is Thrilled His Penis Is Getting Its Picture Taken Again, Just Thrilled

Jon Hamm‘s already made it clear to Rolling Stone that he hates the Internet’s looking at his large penis, so understandably he’s not going to be exactly chipper when he spots the paparazzi. A situation I can sympathize with because people don’t understand men like Jon and I have thoughts and feelings, too. Did you…

By: The Superficial / April 3, 2013

Jon Hamm Knows We’re Looking At His Penis

Jon Hamm‘s on the cover of the new Rolling Stone where he admits he’s aware of the Internet’s fascination with his penis and isn’t entirely cool with it, but it is what it is. Via Us Weekly:

“Most of it’s tongue-in-cheek, but it is a little rude. It just speaks to a broader…

By: The Superficial / March 27, 2013

Hey, AMC, Leave Jon Hamm’s Penis Alone

Of all the natural wonders of the world, Jon Hamm‘s penis truly hangs mightily above them all. A girthuous gift from God himself to remind us, his most beloved creation, that sometimes a penis can be a masterful work of art, and if one should attempt to hide such beauty with garments of thread, they…

By: The Superficial / March 20, 2013

Jon Hamm Penis Sighting, You’re Clear For Landing

Because a hatchet-wielding hitchhiker superhero, 10 minutes of Alexander Skarsgard dry-banging a woman, Kat Denning‘s giant boobs and Chris Brown being a complete fuck-up weren’t enough, here’s Jon Hamm‘s penis to turn this day into a clown car. I’m almost afraid to hit Publish out of fear Christina Hendricks will fly out of it naked.

By: The Superficial / February 5, 2013

The 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards

And we’re spent with the Golden Globes already, so here’s the rest of the fancy people there including hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler who based on the illegal YouTube clips I could barely understand, did an awesome job calling everyone in Hollywood crybaby assholes to their faces. But before everyone thinks they’re so witty…

By: The Superficial / January 14, 2013

Everybody Be Quiet, It’s A Jon Hamm’s Penis Post

When we last left Jon Hamm‘s penis, it slapped on a leather jacket and a St. Louis hat for a night of drinking, so here it is in Loz Feliz yesterday where I like to picture it prepared as a McRib wondering why it doesn’t get top billing on Mad Men instead of this schlu…

By: The Superficial / December 5, 2012

Jon Hamm Got Wasted

“Hat matches my jacket… Pfft…”

Apparently Jon Hamm just goes out and gets plastered by himself because here he is wandering around Hollywood Saturday night where he spent the entire time taking an extremely amusing phone call and yelling at no one in particular that his penis is too big to fit in

By: The Superficial / November 12, 2012

Jessica Pare’s In A Bikini And Jon Hamm’s Shirtless, It’s The Everyone Wins Post

Here are a bunch of pics of Jon Hamm in a bathing suit while filming Mad Men in Hawaii yesterday except this stupid chick in a bikini won’t get out of the way. Yes, your body is super hot, lady, but could you move? Jon Hamm‘s penis might be outlined in his shorts. What’s that?

By: The Superficial / October 25, 2012
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