Posts tagged "Jersey Shore"

The Situation Got Arrested For Punching His Brother In A Tanning Salon

Remember The Situation? It’s better if you don’t. The important thing is that you know he was arrested after getting into a fist fight with his brother in the tanning salon they own after employees called the cops when their paychecks bounced because New Jersey. TMZ reports:
Mike “Situation” Sorrentino was busted at Boca Tanning

The Superficial / June 18, 2014

Pauly D Has A Love Child

“Shit, is that a meteor? Did I do that?!”
I used to always joke that Jersey Shore was the more responsible show than Teen Mom because at least the spray-tanned guidos weren’t actively shitting kids into the gene pool. But then Snooki ruined all that, and now Pauly D has confirmed he knocked up a…

The Superficial / October 22, 2013

Lindsay Lohan Hooked Up With Pauly D. Of Course.

In a new interview with Celebuzz, Snooki reveals that Lindsay Lohan hooked up with Pauly D a few years ago, so no wonder she keeps reminding people she used to bang Heath Ledger when he was high on heroin. It was literally the highest point of her love life because here’s a brief timeline of…

The Superficial / January 24, 2013

JWoww’s Fiance Seems Nice

Apparently, people are getting bent out of shape about JWoww’s then-boyfriend, now-fiance Roger Matthews shoving her down on the latest

The Superficial / October 15, 2012

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHA! And Other News

Posted by Photo Boy
- Ben Affleck’s interview in The Hollywood Reporter is apparently great, so just assume it includes a detailed account and pictures of him banging Blake Lively. [Lainey Gossip]
– Redheads Breasts – Self-Esteem = Thursdays at [theCHIVE]
- Leona Lewis may have misunderstood the spanking in Fifty Shades of Grey. [Dlisted]…

The Superficial / October 11, 2012

MTV Cancelled ‘Jersey Shore’

You might say they jet-packed the shark. — I’ll go kill myself now.
Speaking of New Jersey being the pride of America, MTV has finally decided to pull the plug on Jersey Shore which is really the only acceptable response to one of these kids successfully reproducing that doesn’t involve a shotgun and an outhouse…

The Superficial / August 30, 2012

Snooki Gives Birth To Baby Without Gills, ‘Did Not See That One Coming,’ Says Medical Science

If you’re wondering why a loud trumpet blast followed by the seas turning to blood woke you up yesterday morning, Snooki actually gave birth to a real, live baby boy that I haven’t heard is deformed yet, so for those of you who guessed, “Stillborn but capable of emitting vaporized gonorrhea,” I was right there…

The Superficial / August 27, 2012

Public Service Announcement: Herpes is Airborne Now. Repeat. Herpes is Airborne Now.

“And so, gentlemen, what I propose is this: We take young men and women of ill repute who have over time acquired a myriad of diseases transmitted from intercourse, adorn them in provocative swimwear so as to be pleasing to the eye and then give them all jetpacks. From there, America’s shores will crumble paving

The Superficial / June 25, 2012

Deena Cortese Won’t Stop Wearing Bikinis And Other News

- Chivettes Bored At Work still won’t make me want to work in an office. But good effort. [theCHIVE]
- Prince William is 30 now which just made a bunch of people feel really old. [Lainey Gossip]
- 21 Pictures That Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity (Needs more Kate Upton.) [BuzzFeed]
- Gabriel Aubry

The Superficial / June 21, 2012

JWoww Wants To Get Pregnant, Too

If you thought the worst thing that could happen as a result of Snooki getting pregnant is that her child will eventually learn what his mother is, well.. okay, you’re right. Shut up. But the second worst thing that could happen is she makes the other walking piles of greasy melanoma in the Jersey Shore…

The Superficial / June 15, 2012

Jersey Shore’s Deena Arrested For Drunkenly Slapping Cars

In her defense, I’m sober and it even took me an hour to realize she’s not hugging Snooki.
While filming an episode of Jersey Shore yesterday, Deena Cortese apparently looked down at her script and saw the words, “You’re the one who gets arrested this season,” so here she is horse-hammered drunk before being hauled…

The Superficial / June 11, 2012

How Does One Bikini Hold All That Sexy? And
Other News

- Ryan Gosling takes Eva Mendes to his mom’s college graduation. [Lainey Gossip]
- Video Game Logic Is Hilarious When You Think About It [theCHIVE]
- Lindsay Lohan is causing “audible gasps” as Elizabeth Taylor. [Dlisted]
- 28 Ways “Sex And The City” Would Be Different If It Were On TV Now [BuzzFeed]
- Minka

The Superficial / June 7, 2012

Snooki’s Having A Boy

Because soon people will realize they’ve been hypnotized into staring at the warthog from The Lion King get the clap and stop watching, Snooki is selling every last detail of her pregnancy to anyone with a checkbook and/or pack of Slim Jims. So here she is exclusively revealing to In Touch that she’s having a…

The Superficial / May 23, 2012

Tan Mom Vs. Snooki: The Case For More Abortions

While I was a away last week drowning myself in a sea of pork barbecue sandwiches, calabash and homophobia in every direction (Vote May 8 to stop them faggots!), I couldn’t help myself from thinking, “Gosh, I hope the Internet finds a new crazy mom to hate.” And almost as if you heard the crie…

The Superficial / May 7, 2012

The Situation’s Dad Made Another Video. YES.

Yesterday, The Situation tried to deny he was in rehab only to later come clean and claim it was just for prescription pills. Except now reports claim it was also for alcohol which might threw a wrench into the sixth season of Jersey Shore a.k.a. MTV’s way of doing right by Snooki’s kid by killing…

The Superficial / March 22, 2012

The Situation Wasn’t In Rehab, Just An Undisclosed Location Free Of Coke So He Could Rehabilitate

Nope, cocaine had nothing to do with any of these poses.
Posted by Photo Boy
Despite being outed recently as both broke and gay by Snooki – Two things that would drive any closeted vain-glorious moron to dive headfirst into a g-string full of blow. – The Situation, through his rep and Twitter, has denied…

Photo Boy / March 21, 2012

JWoww & Snooki Wore Bikinis. Pregnant Snooki.

Here’s JWoww and Snooki filming their Jersey Shore spinoff, Ah, Fuck, The Danny DeVito One’s Pregnant in Cancun over the weekend which I’ll just assume was supposed to be an episode about the two of them getting whore-hammered with spring breakers until one of them had to go and find out the hard way peeing

The Superficial / March 19, 2012

Why No One On ‘Jersey Shore’ Should Even Look At A Baby, Let Alone Shart One Out Their Ewok Hole

Via E! News:
Vinny joked that he wants to turn the house’s “smush room” into a baby room for Snooki and Jionni’s future child.
VINNY: ‘Ey, yo, Snook. Remember dat room I got da crabs in? We put a crib in it! OOOOOOOOOOH.
SNOOKI: Aw, for real, you guys? That’s so sweet. — We ca…

The Superficial / March 15, 2012

It’s Snooki’s Engagement Ring

Yesterday, we found out that Snooki is probably engaged on top of being pregnant with God knows who’s baby. So, of course, here she is suddenly walking around with a rock on her finger last night which means her Us Weekly cover is most likely going to drop tomorrow after they spent the past week…

The Superficial / March 6, 2012

JWoww Looks Just Thrilled Her New Show Is All About Snooki Being Pregnant Now

When JWoww signed on for a Jersey Shore spinoff with Snooki, she just assumed it’d be another couple of weeks getting paid to act like giant drunken whores on TV thus inspiring future generations to strive for greatness. Except no one taught Snooki how condoms work, so now the show’s being transitioned into Bringing Home

The Superficial / March 2, 2012
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