George Zimmerman

George Zimmerman Made $120,000 Off The Trayvon Martin Gun #USA

Greatest country on earth.

Mike Redmond | May 19, 2016 - 2:30 pm

George Zimmerman Tried To Auction Gun That Murdered Trayvon Martin

George Zimmerman tried to sell the gun he used to kill Trayvon Martin on an online auction site. They took that shit down.

Mike Redmond | May 12, 2016 - 11:20 am

Meet Your New Pal George Zimmerman, Obama Tear Truther Cockfaces

Did you think Obama’s tears were fake during his gun control speech? Congratulations, you’re just like George Zimmerman. Have fun looking in the mirror.

Mike Redmond | January 7, 2016 - 2:00 pm

George Zimmerman Tweeted Photo of Trayvon Martin’s Dead Body

Your second amendment mascot, America.

Mike Redmond | September 28, 2015 - 11:30 am

George Zimmerman Has Some Thoughts On The Virginia Shooting

George Zimmerman will bring subtle nuance to a grave tragedy now. Just kidding! He’s here to tweet racist Republican talking points.

Mike Redmond | August 27, 2015 - 11:49 am

George Zimmerman Painted The Confederate Flag Because Of Course

George Zimmerman painted the Confederate Flag to benefit a racist gun shop. You couldn’t make this shit up if you tried. …

Mike Redmond | August 18, 2015 - 11:30 am

George Zimmerman Got Shot In The Face And Didn’t Die

George Zimmerman got shot in the face and walked away because this world is God’s toilet and He’s been eating a lot of bran lately.

Mike Redmond | May 12, 2015 - 10:36 am

George Zimmerman: Killing Trayvon Martin Was ‘God’s Plan’

George Zimmerman said killing Trayvon Martin was ‘God’s plan’ and to question that is ‘blasphemy.’ Yeah…

Mike Redmond | March 24, 2015 - 10:41 am

George Zimmerman Is Randomly Guarding Businesses Now, Oh Good

“George, they infiltrated the police, George. We’re sitting ducks.”
“There’s a gun inside my rectum. You know what to do.”

When we last left George Zimmerman, he was attempting to make money by competing in underground fight clubs to benefit The Trayvon Martin Foundation (You just read all of those words.), so…

Mike Redmond | July 30, 2014 - 1:39 pm

George Zimmerman Is Done With Celebrity Boxing, And On To Underground Fight Clubs For Trayvon


After announcing that DMX would be boxing George Zimmerman on the day that would’ve been Trayvon Martin’s 19th birthday, fight promoter Damon Feldman cancelled the whole production after getting his ass chewed out on Twitter. Fortunately, George Zimmerman won’t rest until he can commit more acts of violence, and he already has…

Mike Redmond | February 10, 2014 - 3:02 pm

DMX Is Fighting George Zimmerman

Because he’s a level-headed man who’s not at all prone to extremes, George Zimmerman was hoping he’d get a chance to celebrity box Kanye West. Instead, he got DMX which is still great news because all that mattered was George had probable cause to stand his ground, so go ahead and check off that box.

Mike Redmond | February 5, 2014 - 10:39 am

George Zimmerman Wants To Fight Kanye West

Last week, George Zimmerman announced that he’d compete in a celebrity boxing event against whatever opponent will pony up the cash for an unnamed charity that George will make a minimal, legally-required 10% donation to so all of this doesn’t look like the scam it really is. Since then, The Game has already thrown his…

Mike Redmond | February 3, 2014 - 12:46 pm

George Zimmerman Is Doing Celebrity Boxing Now

When we last left George Zimmerman, he was cornering the market on gun nuts with $100,000 to blow on murderous shitbag art which somehow no one’s figured out is money laundering yet. Then again, Florida. Except now he’s turned his attention to celebrity boxing, the sport of kings and vagina kickers alike, and more importantly,…

Mike Redmond | January 31, 2014 - 9:42 am

George Zimmerman’s Painting Was Copied From Shutterstock

With George Zimmerman free from domestic violence charges thanks to his girlfriend changing her story so they can reunite and continue trying to find ways to get paid for TV appearances, he now has time to return to his true passion: pulling a gun at the drop of a hat painting! Apparently George Zimmerman is…

Mike Redmond | December 17, 2013 - 1:50 pm

George Zimmerman’s Guns Just Got Taken Away

Yesterday George Zimmerman was arrested for domestic violence which I’m sure we’ll find out was just a couple having an argument just like the rest of us. Right, gun lovers? Right. Via The Orlando Sentinel:

George Zimmerman was arrested Monday after he cocked and pointed a shotgun at his girlfriend, shattered a glass-top…

Mike Redmond | November 19, 2013 - 2:30 pm

I’ll Just Go Ahead And Leave This Here

George Zimmerman Arrested For Domestic Violence – NBC Orlando

Adding… This time the victim is white, so we’re probably looking at the chair. However, she is a woman, so it’ll come down to Florida statutes on whether or not she was cooking a delicious meal, book learning, or communing with the devil. (Unverifiable…

Mike Redmond | November 18, 2013 - 2:50 pm

So South Park Made A George Zimmerman Episode

Last night, South Park aired its new episode “World War Zimmerman” which basically spent 21 minutes ruthlessly kicking George Zimmerman and Stand Your Ground in the dick by way of World War Z. Which was even more amazing considering Trey Parker and Matt Stone usually make it a point to expertly slam both liberals and…

Mike Redmond | October 10, 2013 - 11:25 am

Sanford Police Chief: George Zimmerman Is Another ‘Sandy Hook’ Waiting To Happen

“Did you just reach for your gun because it looked like we were losing?”
“…. Noooo?”

When we last left George Zimmerman, his lawyer had just quit following a domestic dispute situation where George’s estranged wife Shellie accused of him going to his truck to get a gun after threatening her and…

Mike Redmond | September 13, 2013 - 10:00 am

George Zimmerman’s Lawyer Quit
(Subtitle: So What Was That Shit Yesterday?)

“Your honor, before we waste a lot of people’s time and money here, I feel like I should point out that my client shot a black kid and we’re in the state of Florida. — Still going to do this? Fair enough, that’s on you.”

Yesterday, George Zimmerman was briefly detained by police…

Mike Redmond | September 10, 2013 - 4:56 pm
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